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I don't have a problem with it at all. I do it myself, at work (nursing home) if I don't know a resident's name I call them Sweetie or something when I address them. They don't seem to mind, but I restrict it generally to the old folks - if we get someone younger in for rehab I call them Mr or Mrs, whatever, but if a waitress or someone calls me Hun or Sweetie I don't mind at all, in fact I like it.
Why do you make that distinction between older and younger clients?
Unfortunately this attitude is all too common and is the reason I don't like to be called "sweetie". It means the person whom I'm paying doesn't respect me enough to use my name.
Why do you make that distinction between older and younger clients?
Unfortunately this attitude is all too common and is the reason I don't like to be called "sweetie". It means the person whom I'm paying doesn't respect me enough to use my name.
Does the person you are paying even KNOW your name? You go to a diner you've never been to and order breakfast. Do they know your name? You're standing in line at a grocery store. Do they know your name?
I've worked in service businesses many times during my life. I NEVER used diminutives with customers. Personally, I don't think it's appropriate. But if someone does it to me I don't waste a millisecond being offended by it. Half of them don't even know they're doing it. And the ones who do probably mean it to be friendly. It's just their way.
The elitist attitude of some of the people here cracks me up. You're spending $20 and you demand respect for your station in life? Perhaps we should revert to "your grace" or "your lordship."
The other thing I've learned here is that everyone seems to expect something different. Some people hate hon, some people are OK with hon but hate ma'am. Some people expect to be called by their name by someone who would have to take time out of serving someone else's coffee to figure it out. So these minimum wage people are supposed to cater to your delicate feelings ... even when they have no idea what they are? It's not easy being a low-wage worker in America today!
Why do you make that distinction between older and younger clients?
Unfortunately this attitude is all too common and is the reason I don't like to be called "sweetie". It means the person whom I'm paying doesn't respect me enough to use my name.
You must feel disrespected by most people in your life....because most people don't know, or won't know, your name...and even some that do may still use a nickname.
If your level of self worth is determined by someone calling you 'sweetie' or 'hon' in a kind fashion....you need to look at why you have so little worth for yourself...because the issues lies with you....not anyone else.
Personally I'm not a fan of people calling me "hon" but realize that it is a common thing in many areas of the country. If it is meant kindly, not a problem.
There is a time and place for it though. Many years ago while in the military, I was called "sweetie" by a male contractor who was generally a jackass outside of his dealings with me--arrogant and condescending. It was quite refreshing to rip him a new one, especially since he did not extend me the courtesy of calling me by my rank or ma'am. After that point, he hated my guts but he did address me by my proper military title. It has nothing to do with my insecurities or worth for myself. It comes down to professionalism in a workplace.
Personally don't see an elitist attitude because it works both ways. Most of these interactions are business relationships and I think they should be based on mutual respect. I don't call the guy in the next office, the CEO, or the maintenance guy at work "Bud" or "Bro" or "Hon". I introduce myself and take my cue from their response, or default to sir.
I don't see pet names just in general professionally respectful; more-so if you don't know me or wouldn't notice me if you encountered me outside your business. I don't call people I encounter at work[theirs or mine] pet names. They get Miss or M'am or Sir no matter their age or station in life: from the pan handler on the street to the top of the food chain.
- And yes, if I wind up in a "home away from home" I would hope that someone would care enough to look up my name, or ask me, or look at the plastic bracelet. If I have to be sweetie to get a blanket, please up my meds. My grandmother would have accidentally squished their toes with her cane and claimed - oops! - senility or a nasty shock from her hearing aid. [which partially explains my take on it!]. Perhaps she'd have asked for a pen and written her name of choice on her palm.
People do it out of habit or culture and I get that and don't really get upset enough to think about it after I leave the place; plus others are free to feel all warm & fuzzy about it.
The thread was interesting and I wanted to understand what is was about it that bothered me. It pretty much boils down to I was raised that how you address people indicates simple human respect & gives dignity to all involved.
I HATE when random people call me "hon". Like a cashier, for example. I find it so demeaning. I understand that I'm in my late twenties and I probably look a couple years younger than that even, but being called "hon" makes me feel like I'm twelve.
Anybody with me?
I agree. I'm in my 60's and still get that sometimes, often by people who are lots younger than I am, and who don't know me from Adam. It's annoying, but I figure the encounter is brief enough, and they don't mean any harm. I figure they call everyone "hon", most likely out of habit...
If your level of self worth is determined by someone calling you 'sweetie' or 'hon' in a kind fashion....you need to look at why you have so little worth for yourself...because the issues lies with you....not anyone else.
It's not about a person's level of self-worth being determined by someone calling them "sweetie" or "hon". It's about personal boundaries and how I prefer to be addressed. It is a boundary of mine that I don't want to be called pet names by people who do not know me and have not established a level of familiarity that would make it ok to call me those names.
Simple as that.
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