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I taught Vacation Bible School for a number of years in three different churches plus some other volunteer Church activities. At least in my area, parents are generally not allowed to volunteer in the same classwhere their child is enrolled. They are encouraged to volunteer in other classrooms but not in their child's classroom and they certainly would not be allowed to be the teacher of their child's Sunday School or VBS class.
The same is true in the public schools around my area. Of course, there are some exceptions, especially for "small types" of assistance, such as helping out in your child's public school classroom once a month for a specific activity or maybe an hour a week during library time. But, there had been so many problems in the past with parents in their child's classroom that it is now basically forbidden in the public schools in my area.
That make sense and this has been a problem before in other classes. Why they allowed it to happen is beyond me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meemur
OP, it is a volunteer job. I usually suggest to folks that when they start to feel truly passionate about it, it's time to get a paying job in that field.
Church culture is not like it was. Fifteen years ago, I doubt they would've tried that. Now, it's all about being inclusive and someone who has done something for 20 years might be replaced overnight by a twit just because if they don't, the whole family will stop coming to church.
And it's happening all over, not just in one or two churches.
OP, I will pray for you, and I hope that you can make peace with this issue. It might just be a nudge to seek a paying position in a religious school.
I'm going for my teaching certificate, already have a sub one. I wonder if that is the case, maybe they give a lot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma
OP, have you ever had this kind of issue in the past, or are you experiencing a similar situation in other aspects of your life?
Have you discussed this situation with anyone who is close to you? What was his/her response???
I've been pushed out a few times. Many people do this and don't care. I quit my other colunteering recently because of the clique behavior.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
It isn't about who knows more, it's about who wants to oversee their child's religion class. In this case, the mother feels her daughter will be more comfortable with her being there.
Your feelings are hurt. I get that. But geez, get over it, and stop taking it out on the parent. It's about the kids, not you, and if you can't deal with that, you need to step away.
Then she can oversee her education AT HOME.
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821
Oh. My. Goodness.
What gives you the right to question this person's motivations?
What gives you the right to be disrespectful when someone is doing exactly what the church expects us to do - to tithe of our Time, Talents, and Treasure.
Did you not say this woman is a teacher by profession?
She is stepping forward to volunteer for the first time and you are condemning her for it? Excuse me?
It is not up to you to judge "why" another member of your church wants to share her talents. The director of the program has assessed her "gifts" and she has decided that the place she is needed is in your classroom.
Seems to me you are not only threatened by having someone else in your classroom, you think you are more capable of assessing the church education program than the people hired to oversee it.
What is really sad - you had the opportunity to make this a really special "team effort" but you completely closed your mind and took offense to what the director clearly saw as an opportunity for improving the classroom experience - for the children.
You do remember . . . you are there FOR THE CHILDREN????
What gives me the right? SHE IS BEING DISRESPECTFUL OF ME! Didn't anyone catch that? I developed the training plan, and she wants to change it. Apparently she is going for a teaching certificate (or so they say)but so am I and I have been both a college professor and taught kids certain things.
If she wanted to volunteer she could have sooner and would be okay coming in as an assistant. She is not, it's a power trip for her. An assistant would be like "let me know what I can do".
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
I have a feeling that the OP is just so upset and angry about the situation that she is starting to sound like an egotistical jerk in her posts, which may be very far from what is her typical behavior.
OP, maybe you should just relax for while and stop thinking about this issue.
Is there someone else in the church that you can discuss it with? Perhaps, one of the other teachers? Maybe you are over reacting and maybe not? Maybe you are too "invested" in the class and need to step back for a while? Perhaps, even though you love teaching that class and do a great job it is time to take a Sabbatical from it?
You probably will get more accurate feedback, suggestions and information from someone else who knows the situation a little better than we do, such as other adults who teach similar classes in your church.
Good luck to you.
Yes, other teachers who all told me they don't like it either. They saw this woman try to take over and shook their heads. The church can't maintain teachers year after year (in the three years I've seen almost all teachers overturn after a years).
"perhaps she would leave the church if she doesn't teach" is not a good reason to select a teacher or assistant, for that matter. The school's motivation here needs to be examined.
Additionally, I don't think that it would be beneficial for the child to have her mother in the same class. If she is shy, she needs to discover her uniqueness and strengths and individualism through being stretched in the class with peers, so she can grow and develop and *bloom*. The mom sounds overbearing and controlling, which may be what contributes to her daughter's shyness (i.e. 'fear').
She was overbearing and controlling in the meeting which really bothered me as I am not, nor are the other teachers.
She's not coming into class because she is
involved with church (a point many are missing)but because she doesn't want her
daughter to be away from her.
I get that.
And if you pick up ur marbles and leave...do it after saying your point of perspective
in this whole thing...for their learning.
Ya know, it never matters where we are or what we are doing...God is always there
and happiness and connection to Him is ever-present.
Class, no class...doesn't matter in the scheme of things.
Interesting. 12 pages of responses, and you find fault with anyone who feels you are overreacting. If you are firmly set in your belief that you are right, why even post the question? Or are you just looking to be validated?
righteous indignation
noun
retribution, retributive justice; anger and contempt combined with a feeling
that it is one's right to feel that way; anger without guilt
I dunno...ask her...but I know I can feel hurt, slighted and indignation for about 3
seconds...then it passes.
So...as I said we are a work in progress.
We have old patterns of hurt and childhood wounds that still rear their ugly head...so?
We are at least leaning towards sainthood...that is why we are all here...
and that is why we keep being confronted by our sh*t...so we can get thru it and have it be
in our wake as we zoom past it....long forgotten like a ball and chain on our spirits.
Okay I am kind of angry and hope I am overreacting. I have been a teacher for religious education at the church for three years and while I don't get paid I feel appreciated for doing it. I'm also getting compliments from the parents and the kids all love me. I have to attend 6 credit hours a year in college classes as part of my teaching and they pay. In addition I have to write up a lesson plan every year and the kids have to reach standards by the end of the year. Even though it's volunteer it is a lot of work.
So anyway, a couple weeks ago I go into the office to talk to the director (I have known her for years outside of church and we have a great relationship)and notice a mom registering her kids for class. I talk to the mom and she tells me her daughter will be in my class and she's shy. I also saw the director giving her information for being involved in the program telling her they always need help. It didn't register until a week later and in the bulletin it listed as teachers for my class me and her. I was livid as you can imagine and called the director who told me she was going to be my assistant like my other assistants. I had other assistants but both were younger women (one was in jr high, the other in high school). I was assured she was only my assistant. According to the director she wants to work for the church because her daughter is shy and she thinks it's better she has her in the class.
However when we had a teacher meeting she was there and not only that but she kept talking about all these ideas she had for "Our" class. I confronted the director and she said look at it as a "co pilot". In the meeting she was introduced as working with me. The deacon started asking her ideas on how the education program can be better because she is apparently a working teacher (I am a teacher too, but I mostly work with adults). Another teacher told me she had the same problem where a parent decided to be an "assistant" and she ended up getting kicked out. When they started talking to this new person another long term teacher looked at me and said it looked like I was being pushed out, which it felt like that. Afterwards both the director and the deacon assured me that wasn't the case. They are also ordering another teaching manual but I suspect it's a manual she can use. I was very rude to her in the meeting with her talking about her ideas and she told the director looks like I don't like her. I flatly told the director I don't know this woman enough to dislike her but do dislike having a co teacher when I am a solo act. Like I said I have had assistants and I would ask them for ideas but they never asked for copies of the syllabus or telling me what should be done.
Am I overreacting? The first day I plan to tell her bluntly I am the teacher.
Yes. You sound very rigid and not open to new ideas.
That fact that she thinks the church will be hurting if she leaves speaks volumes.
The sun will come up again tomorrow, and the church will go on whether she is there or not.
It is a good thing that she knows her self worth.
They will get by and prosper, sure...but they will lose 'her'' and that IS a loss...even
tho the sun will still come up.
When you lose a good teacher with a good, dedicated heart...bec another teacher and mother
has a strong personality and agenda...we all lose.
It would be fine with me if they both taught 2 diff classes.
I have re-read this thread trying to see if there is something I am missing - b/c some of it seems disjointed and I don't think I truly understand the whole situation. I don't post here for fun; I truly care about helping people come to conclusions or find solutions. So I don't want to misread or make assumptions.
Here are some things that are confusing to me and clearing them up might help others understand the situation better, too.
I think we all understand that this is a volunteer position. However, at one point in the thread, OP posted something that indicates she is trying to get licensed as a teacher. I am assuming this means - licensed by her state as a teacher. I thought I read that the lady who is supposedly her "co-pilot" Asst. Teacher is either already a licensed teacher or that she, too, is working towards a teaching certificate.
In addition, I read a statement by OP that this was a volunteer position but that the church does pay for her to take 6 hours of "classes" a year.
So here are my questions. By teaching at this church, are you getting credit towards a state teacher's license? What licensure were you referring to if not a state teacher's license? The six credit hours you are required to take annually - is this a requirement of the church or were you meaning that these are state "continuing ed" type classes that lead to eventual teacher certification? If you would explain what you meant - is this for the church, is this for a state license and who requires the 6 hours of education courses, it would help me understand why you feel someone would want to "push" you out of your position.
In other words, does teaching at this church in any way tie to credits (or hours) or requirements to getting the "teaching license" you referred to? And just how much do the six hours of credit actually cost the church? Or are the classes you are required to take more like a "retreat" setting and not actually credit hours from a college or university or divinity school?
The new lady - will she be required to take the six hours of classes annually, too?
Also - is it a requirement of this church school that everyone who teaches there, volunteer or whatever, either has a state teacher's certificate/license or is working on one?
She was overbearing and controlling in the meeting which really bothered me as I am not, nor are the other teachers.
Pity that you're so blind to your own behaviour. Grow up.
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