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You may be right about the director wanted the OP out, however, there are many, many parents of "shy" children who "insist" that the rules be bent or totally ignored so that they are with their children. Every year, in the public school where I taught there would be problems with a couple of parents.
"I know that the rules say that I can not walk my 1st grader to her classroom every morning, but she is so shy that I need to do that".
"I have to go on the fieldtrip with my child, she would be frightened without me going along."
"I know that parents are not allowed on the playground during lunch recess but my daughter wants me to stand beside while she plays on the equipment."
"I want to volunteer in my daughter's classroom, fulltime." (Yes, a parent wanted to volunteer from Monday to Friday, from the first bell to the end of school each day).
These were things that I remember from my school just last year.
The director doesn't want me out, she just doesn't how to say no. This issue has happened before (not to me). Same situation, a parent wanted to volunteer but they started taking over everything and the teacher told the director she couldn't handle it.
I wouldn't be surprised if the reality is that the Director has devised a means to solve a long-standing ''problem'' at the church school.
I have to agree. Judging from this thread alone......I cannot imagine the drama that has ensued over time. OP, I hope that you find your perfect niche.....and I'm positive folks appreciate all your efforts. But, like many areas of volunteer work, it must be kept in perspective...this is not you, or about you......This seems to have gone from an avocation to an obsession....You really need to take a look at what you've written.....the anger and resentment......where does that belong in a discussion about volunteering in a church education program....No where!
We'll take your word for it, that you are good and the kids like you, but are you sure this isn't the church's way of getting some new blood in there? You may be more of a legend in your own mind.
You have handled this wrong, and unfortunately, it is probably too late to save yourself. You should have saved the indignation and steered the situation gradually, instead of becoming immediately petulant.
That would be an excuse to leave church, but not a reason.
Unfortunately, there is no perfect church. If they leave to look for a church that is perfect, the minute they go through the doors it is no longer perfect.
People leaving church because human frailties are evident just means there are that many fewer imperfect people in church.
There ARE good reasons to leave a church, but this is not one of them.
Oh, yeah, it is. I was raised in a church with this type of constant bickering. When on my own, I could not seem to find where it's not. The numerous bickerers try to draw in others - so it's a constant avoidance. It just seems that church attracts these types.
Here is what I have gleaned and think this may be at the root of the insecurity OP is feeling about her job being "taken over" by this mom (who is also a teacher by profession).
OP has put her heart and soul into the designing the curriculum for her class. She has worked hard and is truly committed to doing a superb job.
She has teaching experience so it isn't as though she is an ingenue. She has taught adults. She knows that she does a good job and she has been recognized by others as fulfilling a role and doing it well.
Part of the requirement of the job is to take 6 credit hours of teaching related courses annually. OP is, very wisely, applying those hours to another teaching certification. This is a volunteer position, but since the church requires those six hours annually, they pay for the hours. So although OP does not get paid for teaching at the church, she is getting six credit hours paid for which is helping her become certified (licensed - whatever the term would be) as a teacher in the state or private school sytems in her area.
If this new mother comes in and starts "taking over" and "pushes out" OP (or makes her feel she no longer wants to teach there) . . . OP will no longer have the bill picked up for her coursework. I think most of us would feel that was a lousy deal -- after all, she has put in the time to create the class plans and goals and objectives and assessments. To suddenly not receive the one benefit (wh/ is also a requirement!) would make anyone feel very used.
So I think there is more going on here than petty jealousy or ego. I think OP is really concerned that -- after putting in all the work preparing for a new class this year, her position could be wiped out by someone who (she feels) may only be motivated by wanting to "shape" her own daughter's classroom experience.
Meanwhile, this would leave OP out in the cold, not only hurt b/c no one came to her defense (they allowed someone to "take over" her role even though she had done nothing to deserve being displaced) -- she no longer has the six credit hours being paid for by the church. That now becomes out of pocket. Even the most inexpensive universities are going to charge several hundred dollars an hour . . . and that six hour benefit could quickly add up to $1200-1800.
I am not suggesting that OP is motivated to teach her class b/c of money. However, that is a nice benefit to offset all the hard work she has put into the classroom activities and curricula. I think most of us would feel that since the church requires it, how wonderful that getting those hours could also lead to a new door opening as far as teaching certification. And I think most of us would feel threatened at the prospect of having it taken away (especially after the planning had already been done for the year ahead).
Now maybe I am way off base . . . but I think this has added to the insecurity and anxiety OP has felt about this whole situation. I can understand that and I think most folks could understand it.
When OP keeps saying she has received nothing but praise, I think she is simply relaying that it isn't as though anyone has ever complained. Also, she has already made a big time commitment in the planning for the entire year. And when she says "she is a solo act" (I may be paraphrasing, but that is close) -- she is not being egotistical -- she is just trying to relay that all the planning has been done based on her being able to carry out the tasks required on her own. She has stated having an Assistant has been a welcomed occurrence in the past, as those folks were not trying to change the lesson plans -- they were there to help her carry out tasks.
What is unknown is the motivation of the Director. OP has felt this is all some machination of the "new mom" -- but that is hard to believe. With all the praise the Director has had for the new person . . . and buying her a manual, etc . . . seems to me that isn't something the "new mom" could have manipulated the Director into doing. That was the Director's decision in order to establish the importance of the "new mom" in her role as "co-teacher." She didn't have to put it on the level of "co-teacher" and referring to the new person as OP's "co-pilot." Those were decisions.
So I can see why the OP is anxious and threatened by the changes. But I think if she is cordial, collegial and cooperative . . . things will go smoothly. Yes, her apple cart is going to be turned upside down initially if there are changes to the lesson plans. But if tasks are divided, that could also go smoothly and without hurt feelings.
I do think OP is over-reacting, but after considering all aspects, I can understand why. It takes a LOT of planning to properly teach all the material, plus taking those six credit hours of classes . . . OP has made an investment of her own time and effort into teaching this class.
I think the best advice is what many others have suggested . . . don't come across looking petulant and uncooperative. Be collegial and go into this with an open mind. Sometimes, situations can seem quite different at the beginning than they turn out to be in the longrun. It is only going to make OP look petty to handle things in a negative way, including complaining to folks in the church.
Last edited by brokensky; 09-02-2014 at 03:20 PM..
Reason: redundant sentence edit
You need to get over yourself, OP. Your feelings are about as un-Christian as they get.
The class is NOT yours.
You are like a Pharisee. Remember what happened to them?
This. You are supposed to be there to help your students, remember? Try to be openminded and gracious to your new assistant. We all have something to learn from other people, even those we dislike (such as humility, perhaps?)
Here is what I have gleaned and think this may be at the root of the insecurity OP is feeling about her job being "taken over" by this mom (who is also a teacher by profession).
OP has put her heart and soul into the designing the curriculum for her class. She has worked hard and is truly committed to doing a superb job.
She has teaching experience so it isn't as though she is an ingenue. She has taught adults. She knows that she does a good job and she has been recognized by others as fulfilling a role and doing it well.
Part of the requirement of the job is to take 6 credit hours of teaching related courses annually. OP is, very wisely, applying those hours to another teaching certification. This is a volunteer position, but since the church requires those six hours annually, they pay for the hours. So although OP does not get paid for teaching at the church, she is getting six credit hours paid for which is helping her become certified (licensed - whatever the term would be) as a teacher in the state or private school sytems in her area.
If this new mother comes in and starts "taking over" and "pushes out" OP (or makes her feel she no longer wants to teach there) . . . OP will no longer have the bill picked up for her coursework. I think most of us would feel that was a lousy deal -- after all, she has put in the time to create the class plans and goals and objectives and assessments. To suddenly not receive the one benefit (wh/ is also a requirement!) would make anyone feel very used.
So I think there is more going on here than petty jealousy or ego. I think OP is really concerned that -- after putting in all the work preparing for a new class this year, her position could be wiped out by someone who (she feels) may only be motivated by wanting to "shape" her own daughter's classroom experience.
Meanwhile, this would leave OP out in the cold, not only hurt b/c no one came to her defense (they allowed someone to "take over" her role even though she had done nothing to deserve being displaced) -- she no longer has the six credit hours being paid for by the church. That now becomes out of pocket. Even the most inexpensive universities are going to charge several hundred dollars an hour . . . and that six hour benefit could quickly add up to $1200-1800.
I am not suggesting that OP is motivated to teach her class b/c of money. However, that is a nice benefit to offset all the hard work she has put into the classroom activities and curricula. I think most of us would feel that since the church requires it, how wonderful that getting those hours could also lead to a new door opening as far as teaching certification. And I think most of us would feel threatened at the prospect of having it taken away (especially after the planning had already been done for the year ahead).
Now maybe I am way off base . . . but I think this has added to the insecurity and anxiety OP has felt about this whole situation. I can understand that and I think most folks could understand it.
When OP keeps saying she has received nothing but praise, I think she is simply relaying that it isn't as though anyone has ever complained. Also, she has already made a big time commitment in the planning for the entire year. And when she says "she is a solo act" (I may be paraphrasing, but that is close) -- she is not being egotistical -- she is just trying to relay that all the planning has been done based on her being able to carry out the tasks required on her own. She has stated having an Assistant has been a welcomed occurrence in the past, as those folks were not trying to change the lesson plans -- they were there to help her carry out tasks.
What is unknown is the motivation of the Director. OP has felt this is all some machination of the "new mom" -- but that is hard to believe. With all the praise the Director has had for the new person . . . and buying her a manual, etc . . . seems to me that isn't something the "new mom" could have manipulated the Director into doing. That was the Director's decision in order to establish the importance of the "new mom" in her role as "co-teacher." She didn't have to put it on the level of "co-teacher" and referring to the new person as OP's "co-pilot." Those were decisions.
So I can see why the OP is anxious and threatened by the changes. But I think if she is cordial, collegial and cooperative . . . things will go smoothly. Yes, her apple cart is going to be turned upside down initially if there are changes to the lesson plans. But if tasks are divided, that could also go smoothly and without hurt feelings.
I do think OP is over-reacting, but after considering all aspects, I can understand why. It takes a LOT of planning to properly teach all the material, plus taking those six credit hours of classes . . . OP has made an investment of her own time and effort into teaching this class.
This ^^^ would be a very understandable, rational and civilized reason for the OP's distress.
However, she has mentioned this certification and the cost almost in passing during her explanation, which leaves the majority of her replies to reveal the true motivation behind her freak-out: primitive ego.
Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted post has been deleted); off topic.
What age children are you teaching? Is this just Sunday School, Catechism or Confirmation classes? Are you a certified Catechist? If you are working on or have your Catechist certification you have that over the co-pilot already. It usually takes two years to get your certification. You said you are attending classes and perhaps the co-pilot doesn't have her certification.
Our local parish has certified Catechist, in the past when the parish was small the Priest handled Catechism and Confirmation classes.
Yes I have my catechist certification. I am working on a teaching one to work in the Diocese or even public schools so that is part of it. The other part is it's something that gives me great job. I have put a lot into this, I planned the whole year this summer, including buying supplies. This woman has NEVER volunteered at the church ever. I've never seen her at any events. I'm at every event and involved in every event.
This ^^^ would be a very understandable, rational and civilized reason for the OP's distress.
However, she has mentioned this certification and the cost almost in passing during her explanation, which leaves the majority of her replies to reveal the true motivation behind her freak-out: primitive ego.
You may be right! It is certainly what I thought - until the references to the six credit hours -- and the certification -- were mentioned.
Feeling disrespected is one thing. Feeling disrespected and also having plans for the future ruined puts it on a wholly different level of threat.
Just a theory . . . in any case, I don't think it is wise for OP to make an issue out of this. It is only going to make her look bad.
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