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Adi, there is nothing you can do to make their relationship better. Only they can do that.
If you are looking for age related crankiness reasons, there are a couple, provided your folks are old enough.
Men start to lose brain cells somewhere in the vicinity of age 54. This makes them more impatient and crankier than they used to be. (I read this in some Journal a few years ago.) These men would tell you they love their wife very much, while at the same time snapping at her to sit down and shut up.
Women enter into menopause somewhere in the vicinity of age 54. For some women, this has few noticable symptoms, while I have had other women tell me that they thought they were losing their minds.
My husband and I dont have kids, but we have friends that do. These friends had a LTR, and 3 beautiful children. We were shocked when they told us they might be headed for divorce. This was at a time when 2 children were self-sufficient, and the baby girl was almost ready to take flight. This is the "Nest Leaving" syndrome all couples with children face.
She said, "Suddenly, we dont seem to have anything in common anymore."
He said, "Yeah, kids are a big distraction."
These friends are both attorneys, and from my perspective had everything any couple could dream for. Supportive parents, great kids, great home, great everything. At a time when you would think they would be saying stuff to each other like, "Hey! Soon we can walk around the house naked again!" - they are thinking of starting anew.
You might not be able to stop whatever they have going on, Adi. I would suggest leaving them alone to work out whatever it is they want to do. It could prove to be more damaging to them for you to get envolved. Dont take anybody's side. Its their relationship - but you are still their child. Dont allow either one of them to drag you into their fighting and bickering. Its not your place, and remind them of that fact, if you have to.
"You are my Mom, and you are my Dad. You are both the same to me, so just leave me out of it. I love you both!"
You said yourself that you are the Eldest, Adi. But, this is not a responsibility that you can take on. You will travel this road of Middle to Old Age one day, but now is not your time. As your Elders, they have to work things out alone.
Who knows? Maybe they will stay together forever, but always not seem to get along. *shrugs*
They will always be your Mom and Dad no matter what direction their lives take now. You could be amplifying the situation and making things worse, just by getting envolved in it.
Unless you honestly believe one might kill the other, do what you would want them to do if it was you and your wife/husband - stay out of it. Its the best thing you can do.
Best wishes to all of you.
Nice post with a nice personal touch to it, very nice.
You are a grown up man with your own life. Your parents' marriage is their business, not yours. Just be there to support them whatever happens. Do not take sides and do not get involved. Period.
I agree with you.
Adult kids should never get involved in their parent's relationship. Adi you're 22, time to grow up and face the fact that you have your own life, they have theirs. When the fighting starts excuse yourself. Tell them their fighting makes you uncomfortable and leave. I would say to them that I will come back when they can behave like civilised adults and not make their kids uncomfortable then stick to that. If your father is violent with your Mother then call the Police.
I'm not so sure of this, but my dad was having a talk with this woman much younger than mom the other day, and I heard something along the lines of "let's meet for dinner and talk at a more personal level".
Is this indication he may be cheating ? I'd be terribly disappointed if that's the case. He told me it was for official purposes, but it sure didn't sound like that over phone. Ladies, what kind of signals does this send you ?
I'm not so sure of this, but my dad was having a talk with this woman much younger than mom the other day, and I heard something along the lines of "let's meet for dinner and talk at a more personal level".
Is this indication he may be cheating ? I'd be terribly disappointed if that's the case. He told me it was for official purposes, but it sure didn't sound like that over phone. Ladies, what kind of signals does this send you ?
Do you not understand????
Your parent's relationship is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Butt out of it.
Your parent's relationship is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Butt out of it.
Looks like I can't do anything to help the ones I love down to earth . This makes me very sad, but that's the only conclusion I can draw from all the advice given.
I'll just stay out of their relationship business as much as possible and move on with stuff.
Looks like I can't do anything to help the ones I love down to earth . This makes me very sad, but that's the only conclusion I can draw from all the advice given.
I'll just stay out of their relationship business as much as possible.
It is not the children's job to play marriage counselor. They are both adults, they can allow their marriage to crumble or they can rebuild it, but it isn't your job to facilitate that. You are not a relationship therapist nor do you have any experience in romantic relationships. All you can do is state what you will put up with and what you won't.
It is not the children's job to play marriage counselor. They are both adults, they can allow their marriage to crumble or they can rebuild it, but it isn't your job to facilitate that. You are not a relationship therapist nor do you have any experience in romantic relationships. All you can do is state what you will put up with and what you won't.
And I've done that already several times. I think its high time to look into my future and just get in touch with my parents regularly as a good son.
I understand you love your parents but things happen and you just have to let it play out. If you were having problems in your relationship with your girlfriend or young wife, would your parents step in or would they let you work it out? I bet they would let you guys work it and accept the outcome. They will still will be your parents and you still will have a relationship with them both no matter what.
I understand you love your parents but things happen and you just have to let it play out. If you were having problems in your relationship with your girlfriend or young wife, would your parents step in or would they let you work it out? I bet they would let you guys work it and accept the outcome. They will still will be your parents and you still will have a relationship with them both no matter what.
Got it. I'll let them work it out.
I'm a very bookish kid and know very little on relationship dynamics. This thread has helped me learn a lot, and it will surely help me move forward. Thank you all for the kind replies. I feel very relieved after talking to you guys about this, and will offer double deckers in gratitude. Enjoy .
Thread closed at OP's request. Thank you for your contributions.
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. This makes me very sad, but that's the only conclusion I can draw from all the advice given.
