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I'm a junior in college( USC) and my younger sister Ally is a freshman who goes to school in Chicago. She's home for break and she's put on more than the freshman 15. She was actually in the city over the summer working on campus so she got a head start on everyone. I'm not going to knock her or insult her because of her weight, I'm concerned for health, don't want the 15 to snowball into 50.
She brought it up initially, telling us how good the food is and not even shying away from her extra weight. Why is she so ok with this? I'd be locking myself in a gym if I added over 15 pounds. Is it ok for me, as her older brother, to voice my concern?
If you were my brother, and you mentioned anything to me about anything different about me, including my weight, or my hair color, in a derogatory fashion or citing some BS "it's about your health", I would punch you.
Get over yourself and be happy your sister is a confident woman who is not hung up on a vision of what men think she should be.
You should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking anything like this.
My worry is that this'll snowball. First it's 15, then she comes home for spring break and its another 15, then she comes home and its another 15. My parents are a little concerned too how laissez faire she is about this. If I were in her position I'd want someone to voice concerns to me
Then your parents are assclowns, and they've raised you to be just like them.
What if your sister came up to you and said, "Man, that shirt you're wearing looks awful feminine. Are you gay?"
Then your parents are assclowns, and they've raised you to be just like them.
What if your sister came up to you and said, "Man, that shirt you're wearing looks awful feminine. Are you gay?"
Yes there is something wrong with all this "concern" over a little bit of weight gain. This is not healthy. Since we're talking about "concerns about health."
It would be one thing if she had ballooned out drastically and didn't seem concerned. But this doesn't sound like it's that.
She has likely picked up the more laid-back attitude about this from living in Chicago, which presumably isn't as obsessed and "concerned" about a 15 lb weight gain.
She sounds like she's gained weight due to just eating tasty foods. This is unlikely to be some serious eating disorder that has suddenly developed. It crept up on her. She'll get it off when she's ready.
I'm a junior in college( USC) and my younger sister Ally is a freshman who goes to school in Chicago. She's home for break and she's put on more than the freshman 15. She was actually in the city over the summer working on campus so she got a head start on everyone. I'm not going to knock her or insult her because of her weight, I'm concerned for health, don't want the 15 to snowball into 50.
She brought it up initially, telling us how good the food is and not even shying away from her extra weight. Why is she so ok with this? I'd be locking myself in a gym if I added over 15 pounds. Is it ok for me, as her older brother, to voice my concern?
So, she went off to college and discovered that food can actually taste good and she considers that a good thing? Sounds great to me! Sad thing would be that she didn't already have that experience growing up at home and so perhaps she's overindulged a little bit, but everyone else is right, her weight is not your business, get over yourself.
Yes there is something wrong with all this "concern" over a little bit of weight gain. This is not healthy. Since we're talking about "concerns about health."
It would be one thing if she had ballooned out drastically and didn't seem concerned. But this doesn't sound like it's that.
She has likely picked up the more laid-back attitude about this from living in Chicago, which presumably isn't as obsessed and "concerned" about a 15 lb weight gain.
She sounds like she's gained weight due to just eating tasty foods. This is unlikely to be some serious eating disorder that has suddenly developed. It crept up on her. She'll get it off when she's ready.
I agree. If my parents or siblings commented on my weight it wouldn't do anything positive for my relationship with them. I've never met a woman who wasn't very aware of her weight. I think about my weight more than anything else; more than my job, my hobbies, my husband, my family, my friends, etc. It really is that big of an issue that I cannot ignore it for more than a few minutes at a time. It's actually quite sad; imagine what I could do if that brain power was freed up to think about anything else!
Being that the OP's sister moved to Chicago she is probably just enjoying the awesome food here. There are so many great restaurants it is impossible to visit them all in a lifetime. Being on her own for the first time is a liberating experience and if her parents are half as image obsessed as the OP's posts makes them sound, she's probably relieved to be able to let her guard down and eat whatever she wants now that she's on her own.
IMO, the fact that she brought up her weight gain and said she is fine with it is her way of cutting you guys to the quick. She brought the issue up and said she is okay with it, that's the end of the discussion right there. If and only if she asks for help with her weight can you talk to her about it. End of story.
My worry is that this'll snowball. First it's 15, then she comes home for spring break and its another 15, then she comes home and its another 15. My parents are a little concerned too how laissez faire she is about this. If I were in her position I'd want someone to voice concerns to me
Again, it is none of your business. It is her body. She is not you, you are not her. What you want doesn't matter here, in plain English.
It's people like you and your parents who contribute to the development of eating disorders in young women. BUTT OUT.
I agree. If my parents or siblings commented on my weight it wouldn't do anything positive for my relationship with them. I've never met a woman who wasn't very aware of her weight. I think about my weight more than anything else; more than my job, my hobbies, my husband, my family, my friends, etc. It really is that big of an issue that I cannot ignore it for more than a few minutes at a time. It's actually quite sad; imagine what I could do if that brain power was freed up to think about anything else!
Being that the OP's sister moved to Chicago she is probably just enjoying the awesome food here. There are so many great restaurants it is impossible to visit them all in a lifetime. Being on her own for the first time is a liberating experience and if her parents are half as image obsessed as the OP's posts makes them sound, she's probably relieved to be able to let her guard down and eat whatever she wants now that she's on her own.
IMO, the fact that she brought up her weight gain and said she is fine with it is her way of cutting you guys to the quick. She brought the issue up and said she is okay with it, that's the end of the discussion right there. If and only if she asks for help with her weight can you talk to her about it. End of story.
So right. Chances are she knows all too well the judgement her family is passing on her. But knowing a family like this...chances are, they won't take our advice.
So right. Chances are she knows all too well the judgement her family is passing on her. But knowing a family like this...chances are, they won't take our advice.
And then they'll be surprised when she decides to stay in Chicago when she graduates, or at least not live within 50 miles of them.
Some parts of the country (like LA) act like any weight gain is some Serious Issue and that a young woman (in particular) owes an explanation for her weight to everybody.
I agree, that the sister mentioned her weight gain and made it clear that she didn't give a damn, as a way of letting everyone know that she's no longer falling for that game. That she's realized that it is no one's business, and that 15 lbs is not a criminal act, and she doesn't owe it to anybody to keep herself skinny. I'll bet that in Chicago they're far less judgmental and she's enjoying that.
If she gains a lot of weight (which I find unlikely) then it might be done as an act of defiance. But I think it's also likely that she'll reach a point (like maybe when she's having to buy a larger size of clothes) where she'll think, "Enough is enough" and cut back.
In any case, she needs to deal with it without anyone else's interference. If this was some radical change in her, some horrible depression or eating massive amounts of food, obsessing about eating as much as she could, that would be a matter of concern. But eating tasty foods and enjoying them? How terrible, burn her at the stake!
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