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I'm a junior in college( USC) and my younger sister Ally is a freshman who goes to school in Chicago. She's home for break and she's put on more than the freshman 15. She was actually in the city over the summer working on campus so she got a head start on everyone. I'm not going to knock her or insult her because of her weight, I'm concerned for health, don't want the 15 to snowball into 50.
She brought it up initially, telling us how good the food is and not even shying away from her extra weight. Why is she so ok with this? I'd be locking myself in a gym if I added over 15 pounds. Is it ok for me, as her older brother, to voice my concern?
You can't say anything to her, she already knows. I doubt she is okay with it. No, it is not okay for you to voice your concern. Do not say anything to her.
Sadly people normally gain weight in college because suddenly they are not as active as they were in high school. Also because everyone is snacking, ordering pizza late at night.
She has to decide on her own that she wants to do something with her extra weight.
No, I've been paying close attention. As the father of a 13-year-old girl who's thin and probably always will be, it bothers me. My daughter was not raised on junk food. She was fed healthy food in healthy portions her entire life. Now that she's old enough to make her own decisions, it's amazing to me to watch the decisions she makes. I say amazing because I was raised on the typical American diet, and I would eat junk food until I was sick at her age if I was allowed to. She loves cake, cookies, pie, etc. -- she has one small serving and that's that. She hates fast food. For snacks, she eats apples and a small slice of cheese. If she does have chips or crackers, she eats a small handful. She's not doing this out of deprivation .. she's just satisfied with small portions of rich food.
She's the thinnest of her friends. They snack all the time. They eat fast food several times a week. They eat cookies, chips, etc. etc. all the time. They're only 13, but they are more or less built like Meghan Trainor. Meghan is a pretty girl, but that's not healthy. For a young woman to be that size she has to be eating a lot of crappy food that will lead to a lot of health problems. Whatever Meghan is eating to be that size is going to make her a much, much larger size by the time she's 30 and her metabolism slows down. I hope the day never comes when my daughter feels badly because she takes better care of her body than the Meghans of the world.
I think fat shaming is awful, and no one should feel badly for their body shape, but we need to come to grips with our eating habits and recognize they are way out of whack,
I'm not talking about fat-shaming. I was responding to your comments about whether the thin person in that video should have been portrayed as she was. You sounded like this was all news to you, that thin people are portrayed as shrews like in that idiotic video.
My point is that thin-shaming has been going on for about 20 years now, ever since Jennifer Lopez's butt caught a white guy's attention and someone in the media decided that a big arse was something every woman should have to or else she's not a "real" woman because "real women have curves" and "only a dog likes bones."
I dealt with a lot of thin-shaming in grade school and high school. I was just as uncomfortable in the locker room as the overweight girls were. I would wear extra shirts to seem more "normal" and hated how thin my legs were. Thank goodness my father was smart enough to set me straight.
Which is another thing relevant to this thread: What male family members say to females can jack their relationship with food up, big time. But what fathers say to daughters can also prevent a lot of that, too.
The bottom line is if you can't say something positive and encouraging, don't say anything at all.
I'm not talking about fat-shaming. I was responding to your comments about whether the thin person in that video should have been portrayed as she was. You sounded like this was all news to you, that thin people are portrayed as shrews like in that idiotic video.
My point is that thin-shaming has been going on for about 20 years now, ever since Jennifer Lopez's butt caught a white guy's attention and someone in the media decided that a big arse was something every woman should have to or else she's not a "real" woman because "real women have curves" and "only a dog likes bones."
I dealt with a lot of thin-shaming in grade school and high school. I was just as uncomfortable in the locker room as the overweight girls were. I would wear extra shirts to seem more "normal" and hated how thin my legs were. Thank goodness my father was smart enough to set me straight.
Which is another thing relevant to this thread: What male family members say to females can jack their relationship with food up, big time. But what fathers say to daughters can also prevent a lot of that, too.
The bottom line is if you can't say something positive and encouraging, don't say anything at all.
I'm glad you have a good dad, lilac. You say "male relatives," but a brother isn't exactly a dad. Brothers tease, make fun, poke, etc. Does a woman's self image really rely on what her brother thinks of her?
You say "voice your concern"... but her being your younger sister would translate it as, "you are extremely fat".
Any criticisms from siblings never seem to end well...
Besides, saying something would probably lead her to running straight for that pint (or two) of Ben & Jerry's.
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