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I'm around the same age, but being that I'm a low wage worker I can't really afford to move out of my parents house. Difference is I'm on pretty good terms with my family. The "being thrown out at 18" notion is simply an american phenomena and I wouldn't worry about the other posters insulting you for it.
But if you are unhappy with your situation and really think it's toxic there is really nothing you can do about it except move out.
But the op lives in America (I assume), so what cultural tradition do you suggest responder should advocate? The funny thing is that after putting down others advice, you give the same exact advice.
The OP didn't mention her disability until the third page. We aren't mind readers here.
But even so, the 2nd part of your response is exactly right. I know a man born profoundly deaf. He has graduated college, and is well employed. So either the OP's parents didn't expect much of her, or she doesn't expect much of herself. But, there's still time to change her situation, and have some success if she has the courage to do so. It's time to stop blaming her parents for her unhappiness.
The OP did mislead us a bit by not disclosing her disability up front. None the less, I too know several individuals who live independent fully functional lives. Many in the Deaf community don't even consider
deafness (notice the capital "D" and small "d" to be a disability. Get connected to the deaf community in your area. Also, if you haven't already, contact your state Vocational Rehabilitation Office for assistance in job training and independent living. There is a whole big world out there and you're missing out on it. Don't define yourself by your deafness. You are so much more than that! You can do it.
The OP did mislead us a bit by not disclosing her disability up front. None the less, I too know several individuals who live independent fully functional lives. Many in the Deaf community don't even consider
deafness (notice the capital "D" and small "d" to be a disability. Get connected to the deaf community in your area. Also, if you haven't already, contact your state Vocational Rehabilitation Office for assistance in job training and independent living. There is a whole big world out there and you're missing out on it. Don't define yourself by your deafness. You are so much more than that! You can do it.
If OP can't hear, why does her mother's complaining bother her?
I do wonder if you even feel your parents sabotage your efforts to leave?
They never really encouraged me to move out. I'd always make excuses not wanting to live alone. My siblings found a SO to move in with at a relatively young age and eventually got married. Now that I've been paying rent, they never say anything about moving out
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
The OP didn't mention her disability until the third page. We aren't mind readers here.
But even so, the 2nd part of your response is exactly right. I know a man born profoundly deaf. He has graduated college, and is well employed. So either the OP's parents didn't expect much of her, or she doesn't expect much of herself. But, there's still time to change her situation, and have some success if she has the courage to do so. It's time to stop blaming her parents for her unhappiness.
I'm not saying they're to blame. My dad has always been very passive and lacks ambition. Nothing wrong with it. Some people are the opposite. People say children tend to take after their fathers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts
If OP can't hear, why does her mother's complaining bother her?
I think you should put your own mental health first. If you no longer feel comfortable living at home, move out. Simple as that.
Do you have the financial means to move out or is it what is keeping you at home?
You're 30. It's time for your to spread your wings and take risks. You'll regret it forever if you don't.
I personally come from a very dysfunctional family and after I finished college I moved back for a little while because I was looking for a job. I couldn't stand being there. My parents behavior reminded me of all the reasons why I grew into an insecure trainwreck. I was a trainwreck. I had no clue but their dysfunctional environment left a strong mark on my personality.
You need you leave. They don't need to tell you to move out! You can make your own choices
The OP didn't mention her disability until the third page. We aren't mind readers here.
But even so, the 2nd part of your response is exactly right. I know a man born profoundly deaf. He has graduated college, and is well employed. So either the OP's parents didn't expect much of her, or she doesn't expect much of herself. But, there's still time to change her situation, and have some success if she has the courage to do so. It's time to stop blaming her parents for her unhappiness.
people referenced her previous posts, where she has talked about being on SSDI and having a hearing disability.
The OP didn't mention her disability until the third page. We aren't mind readers here.
But even so, the 2nd part of your response is exactly right. I know a man born profoundly deaf. He has graduated college, and is well employed. So either the OP's parents didn't expect much of her, or she doesn't expect much of herself. But, there's still time to change her situation, and have some success if she has the courage to do so. It's time to stop blaming her parents for her unhappiness.
Her parents might be making her unhappy...and getting out of the house might help with her overall happiness. Again, we don't know the extent of the family dynamics. My gut feel is she is the black sheep, she was overly protected and was not expected to do much, and now she is living the life they built for her. She is capable of choosing something different. But it will be relearning life...and doing that with a significant disability. Its not easy! Its huge and daunting. I think its brave just to think about it. Lets support her instead of tear her down!
OP, have you gotten involved in deaf culture much? It seems like there might be both friendships and support for you there.
Your problem is not being deaf, your problem is not being self sufficient.
I have friends that are deaf...both of them. Have jobs, a child, a home, and YES I need someone to effectively communicate with them ( I am not really good at sign language but know VERY little), but they need NO ONE to understand my communication with them....EXCELLENT lip readers both!
Look, if you are HAPPY at home, then quit your bitchin about being allowed to live there, but IF you are as unhappy as you post, do you think your being there is making them happy????
Works for some, not for others...but it is THEIR home and YOU are being allowed to stay there at THEIR expense. Either be grateful, or responsible.
A lot of women living alone encounter homicidal maniacs. Just a warning.
??!!
For real? This is like something the OP's parents would say to get her to stay! LOL!
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