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I don't understand why people keep saying the waitress was just asking if he wanted change.
What was the point of asking the OP if he wanted change?
How can this not also mean, "Are you planning on tipping me with this money?"
Which translates into asking for a tip.
Which is rude.
Which was the OP's point.
Time for my own poem...
Time to put this thread
to bed.
G'night.
Assuming she was getting a tip and asking for a tip are not the same. I don't get what the big thing is, 99.9% of people tip, and she knew she provided good service, so why would she not assume this and ask if OP wanted her to come back with the change? A tip is not some big grand gesture you may or may not decide to bestow on her if she's a good girl, it is the accepted way servers are paid in this country. She's not some child who asked if she was getting a present from daddy, she's a professional who assumes understandably she's going to be paid for her service...I find something very degrading about many people's attitude about servers here...I still think it's about angry powerless-feeling people trying to feel power over someone they consider below them.
I don't understand why people keep saying the waitress was just asking if he wanted change.
What was the point of asking the OP if he wanted change?
How can this not also mean, "Are you planning on tipping me with this money?"
Exactly. Does the corner food mart or grocery store clerk ask if you want change? Does the department store cashier? Does the person at the fast food drive thru window?
Assuming she was getting a tip and asking for a tip are not the same. I don't get what the big thing is, 99.9% of people tip, and she knew she provided good service, so why would she not assume this and ask if OP wanted her to come back with the change? A tip is not some big grand gesture you may or may not decide to bestow on her if she's a good girl, it is the accepted way servers are paid in this country. She's not some child who asked if she was getting a present from daddy, she's a professional who assumes understandably she's going to be paid for her service...I find something very degrading about many people's attitude about servers here...I still think it's about angry powerless-feeling people trying to feel power over someone they consider below them.
Exactly. Does the corner food mart or grocery store clerk ask if you want change? Does the department store cashier? Does the person at the fast food drive thru window?
Tipping is not customary and normal way to pay employees in those businesses, it IS in food service.
Good grief, why are so many pretending it's not? There is nothing inherently evil in tipping nor in a good server expecting tips. Why this demand for humbleness and deference on the part of servers to beg your $2.75 that she already earned simply by doing her job?? Again IMO power trip and nothing more.
Yes, so she apparently made a mistake...and because OP had the power to punish her for it, he did. Not to mention the 2 or 3 others who helped serve him who were to share that tip who did nothing wrong. Great.
We have choices... 'peace' or being RIGHT...or just
thinking the 'world' should do as 'they think they should' or their happiness goes out the window...
OMG this is my mother-in-law. Spends every day angry over someone who didn't do what they should have done.
"I'm upset today because my doctor was supposed to call and he hasn't."
"Did you call him back?"
"NO! HE is supposed to call ME so I'm not calling!"
(Wow, that'll really show him)
She's angry with the neighbor who didn't drop off the package when he should have, the nephew who didn't send a thank you card by (insert random time frame), the son who waited until the afternoon to call to say happy birthday when he should have called in the morning. It wouldn't surprise me if she went off half-cocked because the waitress should have brought the change without asking.
She's got a set of arbitrary rules that she communicates with no one but expects everyone to abide by. And because the world isn't filled with mind readers, she is now a lonely, miserable person, estranged from most of her family and having few friends. That's what all those "should haves" accomplished for her. She'll die angry and lonely. But at least she'll die being "right"!
Honestly, after being reminded of this, I think the OP deserves more pity than scorn.
Yes....that's another one that gets me. They bring ones assuming you are going to need them for a tip. That's another turn off.
That right there tells me a lot. Why on earth would that bother you at all?
I appreciate when they bring back ones because it means I can give whatever amount I feel is appropriate for a tip without having to go to the trouble of going to the cashier myself to break a larger bill. If I give a twenty for a thirteen dollar meal I want back seven singles so that I can tip at least three dollars.
Yes....that's another one that gets me. They bring ones assuming you are going to need them for a tip. That's another turn off.
And is she supposed to put it to the left side of your chair or the right side of your chair? And is eye contact okay, or is that her attempt at "eyeing you into a tip". And should she just say "thank you" or will she blow it by adding, "Enjoy the rest of your day"? Honestly, if one tries hard enough, they can pretty much come up with a problem that excuses them from ever giving anyone a tip.
It is simply rudeness. It has nothing to do with efficiency. It is trying to coerce the person into leaving the entire amount as a tip. What other bad manners do you support?
OMG this is my mother-in-law. Spends every day angry over someone who didn't do what they should have done.
"I'm upset today because my doctor was supposed to call and he hasn't."
"Did you call him back?"
"NO! HE is supposed to call ME so I'm not calling!"
(Wow, that'll really show him)
She's angry with the neighbor who didn't drop off the package when he should have, the nephew who didn't send a thank you card by (insert random time frame), the son who waited until the afternoon to call to say happy birthday when he should have called in the morning. It wouldn't surprise me if she went off half-cocked because the waitress should have brought the change without asking.
She's got a set of arbitrary rules that she communicates with no one but expects everyone to abide by. And because the world isn't filled with mind readers, she is now a lonely, miserable person, estranged from most of her family and having few friends. That's what all those "should haves" accomplished for her. She'll die angry and lonely. But at least she'll die being "right"!
Honestly, after being reminded of this, I think the OP deserves more pity than scorn.
Can't rep you again.
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