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Lying is by definition "trying to be deceptive," so I'm not sure how you spin that. Lying is more than a red flag, in my opinion. It's a reason not to continue any type of relationship.
Who wants to be with a liar?
You do. Or you want to be alone. Why do I say that? Because everyone lies. People who think they don't lie or they are in relationships with people who don't are deluded. Do people truly believe they don't lie? Or maybe they just don't want to think of themselves as liars. Sorry to burst your bubble, but everybody is: you, me, your neighbor, your priest, and of course Pinocchio. It's just a matter of how often and how big the lies you tell are. Here are some everyday examples:
"I make $80,000/year, Bob."
"You do NOT look fat in that dress, Dear."
"No, I'm not having an affair."
"Barbara, that haircut looks terrific!"
"I didn't fake it with you last night, Bill. You're the best lover I ever had."
"I'm late for work because of bad traffic." (when you actually overslept or have a hangover).
Or even your six year old child: "No Mom/Dad, I didn't take the last cookie from the cookie jar."
You do. Or you want to be alone. Why do I say that? Because everyone lies. People who think they don't lie or they are in relationships with people who don't are deluded. Do people truly believe they don't lie? Or maybe they just don't want to think of themselves as liars. Sorry to burst your bubble, but everybody is: you, me, your neighbor, your priest, and of course Pinocchio. It's just a matter of how often and how big the lies you tell are. Here are some everyday examples:
"I make $80,000/year, Bob."
"You do NOT look fat in that dress, Dear."
"No, I'm not having an affair."
"Barbara, that haircut looks terrific!"
"I didn't fake it with you last night, Bill. You're the best lover I ever had."
"I'm late for work because of bad traffic." (when you actually overslept or have a hangover).
Or even your six year old child: "No Mom/Dad, I didn't take the last cookie from the cookie jar."
Etc. . .
Everyone lies about little things, like "how you look in that dress," all the time. But there are things that the SO needs to know about you in order to take the relationship seriously. Age, any past SOs who aren't out of your life, finance/credit problems, problems with the law, etc. If you lie about serious issues, or aren't candid or forthcoming, don't be surprised to see the relationship wilt and fall apart.
A liar, no matter the lie, is a liar... He/she can't be honest enough to tell you his/her age, they're not worth my time.
There's no such thing as a 'little' lie...
Need more specifics. How old is he say he was? How old is he really? How old is she? What were the circumstances when he told this "lie." It could be innocuous, or it could be that he was trying to be deceptive (in a creepy kind of way). It depends.
I asked him how old he was, he said he was 30, but I knew that wasn't true. Turns out he was 54.
For what it's worth, I have read that when a woman lies about her age, it is generally a vanity issue and it's innocuous. When a man lies about his age, he may be hiding other things.
This was in a deviant behavior textbook, a long time ago. However, that factoid has stuck with me.
I think people are going overboard with this whole invective against "liars." Everyone lies on occasion and lying about ones age is very, very common. I think it's a myth that women lie about their age more often than men. I've known plenty of people (of both genders) who shave years off their age. I currently work with 4 men over the age of 60 and 3/4 of them lies about their ages. One is 64 and he claims he just turned 40!
All lies are not created equal. Shaving a few years off your age is not remotely in the same league as lying about an adulterous affair or lying about stealing money, etc. etc.
I asked him how old he was, he said he was 30, but I knew that wasn't true. Turns out he was 54.
Oh my goodness! What an exaggeration! From 54 to 30? How can his dates not see that there is something off? People who are in their 50s don't look anything in their 30's! He continues to tell that lie because others (I'm sure naive women) have believed him!
Ladies or even guys if you want to answer, would you consider it a red flag if a guy lies to a woman about how old he is, especially if the woman is younger? Or would you overlook that and chop it up as a form of flattery and him trying to impress her?
Lying of any sort is not acceptable in a relationship. Period.
Ladies or even guys if you want to answer, would you consider it a red flag if a guy lies to a woman about how old he is, especially if the woman is younger? Or would you overlook that and chop it up as a form of flattery and him trying to impress her?
Totally. He is probably married to a woman closer to his own age and wants a fling with a "sweet, young thing" who will look up to him (or so he thinks), someone preferably at least 15 years his junior. He has an ego problem.
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He continues to tell that lie because others (I'm sure naive women) have believed him!
