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LOL My post was spot on... If you've never seen or experienced behavior like that I guess we'll just chalk it up to your lack of experience and relationships.
You're not a woman with a close circle of women friends so what experiences and relationships with women do you have...watching Gary Marshall-directed rom coms? Some godawful Katherine Heigl movie? Please spare me the 1950's world view of what you as a man THINK you know about women and our friendships.
I agree with your friends, what is the rush, you reset the clock after each breakup IMO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
If your very closest friends aren't people you can trust and listen to to support your best interest, why are they your closest friends? Either you are terrible at picking friends are terrible at picking men.
Probably it's both. But usually when your friends and family are telling you not to marry somebody, it's a big red flag.
Agreed, when a friend of ours married her on/off bf, we were all concerned, she couldn't understand why nobody but HIS family were happy for her. I told her it's because his family sees how great you are, but we see that he's not.
They were divorced within two years.
I say do some pre-marital counseling to make sure you both are on the same page. You said he's not "overly" jealous anymore, so he's still acting jealous? Hmm... I don't think it's easy to change without professional help. And I wonder if as soon as you get married if he will change and get worse. I've seen so many women marry a man despite the issues you are throwing out and they escalate after that. A coworker of mine just got divorced because her BF who would get jealous "on occasion" turned into such a control freak he started trying to tell her how to dress and so on...
If he loves you, he'll do the pre-marital counseling so you BOTH can work on knowing what a marriage entails. I've been married 10 years and it's not easy.
I agree. When we bad talk our boyfriends with our friends, we sort of poison the well. So I get where they are coming from. That said, I have faked being happy for several people's engagement, marriage and even pregnancies. Sometimes all you see is a train wreck coming but the only option is to let the person decide for themselves. You are an adult, they should trust you are doing the best thing for yourself.
My "best friend" was so mad when I got married she didn't come to the wedding and hung up on me when I called to tell her I was married. It wasn't the guy, she was just mad I wasn't going to be living in our hometown anymore. God I wish I had cut her off then.
No, she's not an adult. She has repeatedly called herself - at age 27 - a "girl". In fact she's the youngest "girl" of the six "girls" she's friends with. The other "girls" are even older, probably over 30.
None of my family or friends were happy about my decision to get married to my first wife. I was very displeased with their opinions and told them so. Also asked they keep further opinions to themselves. IT was without a doubt, the worst decision I ever made. A life altering bad decision. If that many people tell you something, maybe you should listen? I know I wish I did.
None of my family or friends were happy about my decision to get married to my first wife. I was very displeased with their opinions and told them so. Also asked they keep further opinions to themselves. IT was without a doubt, the worst decision I ever made. A life altering bad decision. If that many people tell you something, maybe you should listen? I know I wish I did.
My husbands family was against our marriage. 15 years later we are still happily married and the in laws have mostly come around. It goes both ways.
You're not a woman with a close circle of women friends so what experiences and relationships with women do you have...watching Gary Marshall-directed rom coms? Some godawful Katherine Heigl movie? Please spare me the 1950's world view of what you as a man THINK you know about women and our friendships.
Ah, there's that logic and reason women are known for... Oh wait.
Like I said before, you clearly have a lack of experience with relationships and human nature in this dynamic. Please spare me any more of your ignorant posts on the subject.
Ah, there's that logic and reason women are known for... Oh wait.
Like I said before, you clearly have a lack of experience with relationships and human nature in this dynamic. Please spare me any more of your ignorant posts on the subject.
If there was ever any doubt that Kaphawoman was on the right side in this tiff you two are having, your post above cleared that up. Putting a big grinning face next to a trite sexist comment doesn't make it funny. Or true. Not to mention, countering someone's beliefs with the rejoinder that she just doesn't have enough "experience" to understand your side (when you know so little about her) is a shining example of a strawman.
If there was ever any doubt that Kaphawoman was on the right side in this tiff you two are having, your post above cleared that up. Putting a big grinning face next to a trite sexist comment doesn't make it funny. Or true. Not to mention, countering someone's beliefs with the rejoinder that she just doesn't have enough "experience" to understand your side (when you know so little about her) is a shining example of a strawman.
It's pretty obvious from what she's posted that she's not married and probably single. She also thinks you need to be a woman to have friendships with women??? That's a pretty stupid argument to make, and really just goes to show that she has no clue about what I said.
If my post offended you, that's not my problem, it was to offend her. When someone calls me sexist when I'm merely speaking from the experience that someone else clearly lacks, I have no problem responding in kind.
Sounds to me that your friends are jealous. Women in your age bracket can be petty and dramatic, especially if you are getting something that they don't have. How do your married friends feel? As someone else mentioned, you are the youngest and you are getting married out of turn. I was a young woman once saw this happen with engagements and pregnancies. Don't worry about it, ignore their comments, live your life and congratulations!
Thank you for posting this. Seems some other female posters don't have the age or wisdom you possess to admit this is pretty common.
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