Ill Mother-in-Law, Wife in Another City - When Do I Go?

[badlander]

Originally Posted by lkmax

If my mom was in the hospital and on the verge of death, and my husband was only a few hours' drive away from me and was debating on the City-Data forum whether or not he should come and be with me, I'd probably be hurt. When my husband's father passed away, I was by his side just about every minute for the week that he was in the hospital, for the funeral, etc. And we actually weren't even married yet, although we had been living together for 4+ years at that point. Go be with your wife. She needs you right now. You can figure out the logistics of getting your son there later.

Every one is different. When my father went downhill fast my wife and I went to see him, a three hour drive. By the day after we went there he was more or less out of it, there was plenty of family near by and we were never that close to each other. My wife offered to go home alone as we had a business and foster children to tend to but we both went back, my father died the next day and we went back in two days for the funeral. For me it was the best decision, I got to say my goodbyes and was there for the family for the funeral (also Jewish). When my FIL was dying my wife and I went to see him in the hospital, my wife and I stayed in the hospital until he passed away, I went home and came back for the funeral, this was before we had foster kids. Although our two fathers did not live close to each other they were both 3 hours distance and both passed away during the winter.


OP: discuss it with your wife, she may think it is more important for you to be there when her mother is more alert or that your wife needs you when her mother is in her last stages of dying. Your wife is the most important person in this situation.

[momofvegasgirls]

Perhaps, consult with your Rabbi??