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it seems like single moms draw the short straw once again with celebrating Mother's Day. Ugh. And they typically have the hardest parenting job because they do everything without help.
This year my mother decided she wants to do a picnic at her house. My brother and I are to split the cost of crabs. I will cover the half but it is not like I am getting recognized as being a mom, currently raising children. Where is my congratulations? Oh that is right... The same thing as every other day, Pat myself on the back and keep chugging along.
Hopefully when my kids are older I will get the opportunity to celebrate Mother's Day.
You really feel you need and are entitled to a day to celebrate you choosing to have children and bring them into this world. Your kids didn't ask you to be born, you choose to have them. Sounds like you shouldn't have had kids, your way to wrapped up in ur self.
This year Mother's Day was (well will be) weird for my mother. See my brother got married on last Saturday so hell be on his honeymoon (finishing it up) on Mother's Day. So celebrating Mother's Day is different than most ears. I actually got her Love by Sophia Vegara for the rehearsal dinner and that was my Mother's Day gift to her, my brother is etting something for her on the honeymoon.
That said this is just another Valentine's Day or Grandparents Day. For Chrissakes, celebrate your parents everyday of the year. This week is "teacher appreciation week" at my school and I wonder why we have to reserve that to a single day or even a week... One's true character is shown when they do things without being looked at or coheres-ed into doing it because everyone does it. At brother's wedding, I teared up which is weird for me because I rarely show my emotions when it comes to love. During my best man speech, I showed it. Not because I was coheres-ed but rather it came naturally. I'm sorry but I don't show my love to my parents once a year...
I always thought Mother's Day was for me-to celebrate my Mother.
So what is wrong with you celebrating yours?
When your kids are old enough, they will celebrate you.
Simple as that.
Wait I never said my kids won't make the little hand made cards. They do.
My daughter went to the grocery store this past weekend with my boyfriend because I was sick and she picked up flowers for me. My kids are thoughtful but they have limited means as they are kids. It should not fall squarely on them to plan a celebration for me.
Here's the problem: There IS no one else to "plan a celebration for you". Your mother isn't going to do it, your brother isn't going to do it. As you said -- you are a single mom. This is what it is. Deal with it. Get past the pity party already, and be grateful you have two kids to love and who love you. You've gone from insinuating that your kids do nothing, to saying they do cards and pick up flowers for you, and that they are thoughtful. Yes, while they are young, they may need help in planning a celebration -- but I think your expectations are a little skewed. No, a 12 year old isn't going to plan a family picnic with crabs, etc. But she can order your favorite pizza, clean up the kitchen and buy a cupcake. The younger one can make a card. The point is to take a few minutes to say "thank you".
it seems like single moms draw the short straw once again with celebrating Mother's Day. Ugh. And they typically have the hardest parenting job because they do everything without help.
This year my mother decided she wants to do a picnic at her house. My brother and I are to split the cost of crabs. I will cover the half but it is not like I am getting recognized as being a mom, currently raising children. Where is my congratulations? Oh that is right... The same thing as every other day, Pat myself on the back and keep chugging along.
Hopefully when my kids are older I will get the opportunity to celebrate Mother's Day.
Single motherhood is usually a choice. The choice of the wrong man, etc. It's a choice. Widowhood are a small percentage of single motherhood. Thus, single motherhood, generally speaking, is a choice, or bad choices in life that lead to it.
A mother of young children should not expect anyone to cater to her on mother's day or any other day, except the loving husband of hers who's also the father of her children.
Here's the problem: There IS no one else to "plan a celebration for you". Your mother isn't going to do it, your brother isn't going to do it. As you said -- you are a single mom. This is what it is. Deal with it. Get past the pity party already, and be grateful you have two kids to love and who love you. You've gone from insinuating that your kids do nothing, to saying they do cards and pick up flowers for you, and that they are thoughtful. Yes, while they are young, they may need help in planning a celebration -- but I think your expectations are a little skewed. No, a 12 year old isn't going to plan a family picnic with crabs, etc. But she can order your favorite pizza, clean up the kitchen and buy a cupcake. The younger one can make a card. The point is to take a few minutes to say "thank you".
Yeah, but if I had a mom with the OP's attitude, I wouldn't do anything either.
Here's the problem: There IS no one else to "plan a celebration for you". Your mother isn't going to do it, your brother isn't going to do it. As you said -- you are a single mom. This is what it is. Deal with it. Get past the pity party already, and be grateful you have two kids to love and who love you. You've gone from insinuating that your kids do nothing, to saying they do cards and pick up flowers for you, and that they are thoughtful. Yes, while they are young, they may need help in planning a celebration -- but I think your expectations are a little skewed. No, a 12 year old isn't going to plan a family picnic with crabs, etc. But she can order your favorite pizza, clean up the kitchen and buy a cupcake. The younger one can make a card. The point is to take a few minutes to say "thank you".
This. They made sweet cards and the little girl picked up flowers just to say "I hope you feel better." Why isn't that enough? That's everything!
That's "I love you." It's from the heart. No expensive dinner can top that! Dinner, somebody pays for, you eat it, you complain that it's probably all going to go to your thighs and then, well...you eliminate it, and that's all over with. An act of love by a little child of very little means from her heart is worth a hundred dinners and it stays forever in your memory and brings a smile.
Here's the problem: There IS no one else to "plan a celebration for you". Your mother isn't going to do it, your brother isn't going to do it. As you said -- you are a single mom. This is what it is. Deal with it. Get past the pity party already, and be grateful you have two kids to love and who love you. You've gone from insinuating that your kids do nothing, to saying they do cards and pick up flowers for you, and that they are thoughtful. Yes, while they are young, they may need help in planning a celebration -- but I think your expectations are a little skewed. No, a 12 year old isn't going to plan a family picnic with crabs, etc. But she can order your favorite pizza, clean up the kitchen and buy a cupcake. The younger one can make a card. The point is to take a few minutes to say "thank you".
I think I misunderstood...is the idea here: if only the OP had a husband, he'd be planning a bigger celebration than cards and grocery store flowers?
Here's the reality, OP... A huge chunk of us have husbands and still are "only" getting cards and flowers from the grocery store, LOL.
I have NO idea why this expectation of expensive dinners. SOME people may do this, yes. Do you think the majority do? I don't...OP, your mother's expectations are high and you seem to think she's right, or would be if those expectations could be in your direction rather than hers. But does that make sense? It's all silly, isn't it? I'd bet dollars to donuts that most of us moms, yes, including "married moms," are having our families save their pennies rather than splurging on a huge dinner and stud earrings or something.
Quaker15 said:
Quote:
If they're really young, they don't know how to do that without the guidance of loving father/husband.
I don't think that's true. Honoring and loving can be taught by anyone. Including Mom. To cement the idea, the teachers are all having kids make special things for Mom this time of year. No, a loving father/husband is NOT necessary to teach kids these things. It's nice when that happens, but many kids don't have that for all kinds of reasons...including reasons nobody could possibly have controlled, such as death of the father. So don't think this is true, OP. EVERYONE in the child's sphere during her growing-up experience is an influence on her as far as growing a giving, appreciative nature. Your daughter has already shown she has developed this nature by the fact that she was concerned you were feeling ill last weekend so she picked up a little gift for you.
mochamajesty said:
Quote:
Yeah, but if I had a mom with the OP's attitude, I wouldn't do anything either.
Sure, but the OP is displaying the SAME attitude. At the same time that she's resentful that a lot of money and time should be spent on her mother, she feels a lot of money and time should be spent on HER. It is exactly the same attitude with different "supporting evidence" thrown in there (OP claims it's because she's "currently mothering" but she believes her mother is not...but you can bet later on when the kids are bigger she'll have a different "very good" reason and it will still boil down to: "I should have a lot of money and planning spent on me...but other people don't necessarily deserve that").
I say: Do you care about a lot of money? Or about your kids loving you?
Last edited by JerZ; 05-06-2016 at 03:20 PM..
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A huge chunk of us have husbands and still are "only" getting cards and flowers from the grocery store, LOL.
To cement the idea, the teachers are all having kids make special things for Mom this time of year. No, a loving father/husband is NOT necessary to teach kids these things. It's nice when that happens, but many kids don't have that for all kinds of reasons...including reasons nobody could possibly have controlled, such as death of the father. So don't think this is true, OP. EVERYONE in the child's sphere during her growing-up experience is an influence on her as far as growing a giving, appreciative nature. Your daughter has already shown she has developed this nature by the fact that she was concerned you were feeling ill last weekend so she picked up a little gift for you.