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It could be them or it could be you, but I think they just don't care enough to listen to the rest of the story.
I agree with HokieFan and JerZ. It could be you don't click. You don't sound pushy or whiny in your posts so I don't think you talk endlessly. I hate to say this but if a person's bad manners leave a lasting impression on me, I do the same thing back to them. Most of the time, however, I just learn to stay quiet around those people and stick to business.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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Yes, I think it's rude. I also think it's yet another example of the dying art of good conversation.
FWIW, there are socially acceptable/polite ways to extricate yourself from a boring/unwanted conversation that aren't rude. There really isn't an excuse to be rude, especially when you don't have to be.
This seems to happen to me rather often. I work at a large company, but most of my immediate co-workers are women and we all get along, know what's going on in each others' lives, look out for each other, etc. But I've noticed a pattern that bugs me. If we are walking to/from a meeting or at lunch, etc. and I happen to be the one talking or telling them about something that has recently happened, and someone they know walks up or walks by, they immediately turn their attention to that person and forget that I was even talking. Even after the other person(s) pass by, they just keep on talking about whatever subject and it's like I was never even talking in the first place.
I know this happens to everyone, and it's happened to me when I've been talking with someone and someone I know passes by and we say "hi, how are you doing" etc., but then I always turn back to the person I was originally talking to and say something like "I apologize, please finish your story", or something along those lines.
I don't know if the other women I work with have short attention spans or what, but they NEVER go back to the conversation once they've been interrupted. It's like I wasn't even talking at all. They are nice women, and not mean or rude at all. Are they just that clueless??? Does this happen to any of you?
We also have a lady in our group....sweetest little petite lady ever, probably mid-50's. She always seem to derail the topic of conversation. If 2 other people are talking about buying a car (for example), she will pipe in about something that I guess she thinks is somehow related and go on & on & on about it, and it won't have anything to do with the topic that was being discussed. It's strange. It's like she has to be in the conversation no matter what, and she ends up hijacking the discussion.
Most people are self-centered, rude and ignorant. Don't let them get to you.
This seems to happen to me rather often. I work at a large company, but most of my immediate co-workers are women and we all get along, know what's going on in each others' lives, look out for each other, etc. But I've noticed a pattern that bugs me. If we are walking to/from a meeting or at lunch, etc. and I happen to be the one talking or telling them about something that has recently happened, and someone they know walks up or walks by, they immediately turn their attention to that person and forget that I was even talking. Even after the other person(s) pass by, they just keep on talking about whatever subject and it's like I was never even talking in the first place.
I know this happens to everyone, and it's happened to me when I've been talking with someone and someone I know passes by and we say "hi, how are you doing" etc., but then I always turn back to the person I was originally talking to and say something like "I apologize, please finish your story", or something along those lines.
I don't know if the other women I work with have short attention spans or what, but they NEVER go back to the conversation once they've been interrupted. It's like I wasn't even talking at all. They are nice women, and not mean or rude at all. Are they just that clueless??? Does this happen to any of you?
We also have a lady in our group....sweetest little petite lady ever, probably mid-50's. She always seem to derail the topic of conversation. If 2 other people are talking about buying a car (for example), she will pipe in about something that I guess she thinks is somehow related and go on & on & on about it, and it won't have anything to do with the topic that was being discussed. It's strange. It's like she has to be in the conversation no matter what, and she ends up hijacking the discussion.
We are a NATION of non-listeners.
It wasn't all that long ago that I discovered I was one of them, so I set out to change my habits. As a result I changed my life.
But we can't change anyone else. Men are worse than women, I have found, but not by much.
It drives me batty, too, but I have learned to just log these people in as more non-listeners.
I can continue to develop my own listening habits, but that's all I can do. I know some otherwise marvelous people who simply do not listen; they are busy waiting to talk.
Do not use a person's name unless the people you are talking to know who that person is. Say my brother or my friend, not Bob or Joe.
Don't quote people unless it is necessary. No " and then he said..."
Look for the signs of boredom. If they look at their watch or phone you have lost them.
Cut to the chase. Leave out the things that are not necessary. Keep it under a minute in most cases.
Don't talk about movies, TV shows, or a book you have read. If they were interested they would have watched or read it.
Don't talk about your children unless it is really a big deal. Getting a full ride scholarship is ok. Getting a B isn't. People have to remember that your kid is not as good looking, smart, and funny as you think they are.
OP, I'm not in real agreement with those who are saying that the issue is that you are boring. I've definitely noticed the same thing you described across different groups in my life (work, friends, and family), and I think it's more of a growing communication issue more so than an indicator of boredom.
Regardless of the group, I'm usually the more reserved/quiet one, so I get to observe a lot. I've noticed (and have actually been pondering) the fact that the art of conversation seems to be getting very lost. Conversation these days seems to mean people delivering their own monologues surrounding a certain topic...only to be followed by the next person, delivering their own monologue (which may or may not even be on topic with the first persons - similar to your description).
Very rarely do I see ACTUAL conversation (someone listening/engaged, asking following up questions, a somewhat even exchange of thoughts and ideas, etc). Not sure what's to blame for this, but it is sad. I think it's largely why people feel more "disconnected" and disengaged than ever before.
Do not use a person's name unless the people you are talking to know who that person is. Say my brother or my friend, not Bob or Joe.
Don't quote people unless it is necessary. No " and then he said..."
Look for the signs of boredom. If they look at their watch or phone you have lost them.
Cut to the chase. Leave out the things that are not necessary. Keep it under a minute in most cases.
Don't talk about movies, TV shows, or a book you have read. If they were interested they would have watched or read it.
Don't talk about your children unless it is really a big deal. Getting a full ride scholarship is ok. Getting a B isn't. People have to remember that your kid is not as good looking, smart, and funny as you think they are.
You know, that's a good point. When someone else is talking and the convo is interrupted by someone or some thing, I rarely ask the person who was talking to finish their story unless it really, really interested me! So I guess I'm guilty of the same thing. We DO have one lady who, if interrupted by something, will say "as I was saying...." and continue on. I don't do that, unless it's something important that the rest of the group needs to know.
And no, I'm not the big talker. I participate in conversations, but I'm not the one who has a story to tell every single day.
This probably happens with everyone at some point. I think too, some don't know how to interact or converse, so it may have little to do with you. As I say here at times...we are not identical in personality or how we function. It may be they are not bored, just having a low-attention span, but good to consider everything.
One thing brought up by someone is how some will not miss any chance to chat. You might take a notice of those who consume a lot of coffee or soda, as caffeine can cause this, when people may think it is their "bubbly personality". I had a boss once who drank coffee all day, always buzzing about and being talkative. One day, after her Dr. told her that coffee was negatively affecting her, she had to stop and she became less energetic and quiet at that point.
I know for me, I would notice a difference if having taken acetaminophen with caffeine for a headache.. becoming perkier. (It can really get rid of a headache and I don't drink coffee). These days, and only when desperate, I will cut one in half, so as to have less caffeine.
We are a NATION of non-listeners.
It wasn't all that long ago that I discovered I was one of them, so I set out to change my habits. As a result I changed my life.
But we can't change anyone else. Men are worse than women, I have found, but not by much.
It drives me batty, too, but I have learned to just log these people in as more non-listeners.
I can continue to develop my own listening habits, but that's all I can do. I know some otherwise marvelous people who simply do not listen; they are busy waiting to talk.
You are exactly right ... I've always been a good listener, most aren't. It's frustrating. Most just want to talk at you.
Well, lunch-time conversations are usually pretty superficial, anyway. Just light chat in between mouthfuls of food. :-) If the conversation gets derailed or ends up going in a different direction -- meh, I just go with the flow, unless someone is telling me something intensely personal or upsetting. People do it to me, and I probably do it to other people, without thinking.
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