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Well, at least I know it happens to others and I'm not a weirdo Truthfully, my current job is where this has happened the most, which is what brought it to my attention. I've always made friends easily, and been a pretty social animal....was popular in school, etc. (granted, I grew up in the days before cell phones, internet, etc. when people HAD to talk to each other)
I've been told I'm a good listener, and I try to be. It really helps in conversation with acquaintances...if you've listened to them before, you remember things to spark conversation, like "how was your trip" or "how is your son liking his new job", etc. Maybe I'm too good of a listener and they're used to me listening and when I take a turn to talk myself, they don't know how to react! LOL...
I think another issue specific to my current set of co-workers is that they tend to OVERshare a lot. Just like the one lady who has a story about one of her kids EVERY single day. And the lady who has a dog that she loves and is always sharing pics & vids of something the dog has done. it's all pretty mundane stuff, and I've always been one to only share noteworthy things.....not every picture of my kids & dog.
I'll just be mindful and more observant and see what other patterns I notice!
I had an experience yesterday that reminds me of the OP's issue. I was talking with a lady at the pool and she would ask me a question and I would start to answer but before I could even finish a sentence she would interrupt me and veer into another area and then never ask me to finish what I was saying. Then she would ask a new question and before letting me finish, again she would interrupt and veer off topic. I gave up eventually and just started giving one or two word answers since that seemed to be all she would be still for before needing to speak again.
I had an experience yesterday that reminds me of the OP's issue. I was talking with a lady at the pool and she would ask me a question and I would start to answer but before I could even finish a sentence she would interrupt me and veer into another area and then never ask me to finish what I was saying. Then she would ask a new question and before letting me finish, again she would interrupt and veer off topic. I gave up eventually and just started giving one or two word answers since that seemed to be all she would be still for before needing to speak again.
Its kind of funny I saw this thread because my teenage daughter just complained to me about girls doing this exact same thing to her. I asked her how she responds to this and she says that she just stops talking and stays quiet for the rest of the time with the girls. She said it makes her feel like crap.
I have also had this done to me and I usually do the same thing as my daughter. I figure they weren't really interested in what I was saying. It makes me feel like crap, too. I always listen to people tell me stories even the ones I have heard 4 times before. I guess its the way people are taught to interact with others or maybe its just because people are self-absorbed.
I also think cell phones have destroyed the way people communicate with others. My daughter says her classmates have a very hard time communicating face to face.
TN2HSV- I would listen to your stories and not get distracted!
For those who implied/said that maybe OP just isn't that interesting/talks too much, let's keep in mind that people nowadays are constantly seeking novelty---look at how people use electronics. Attention spans are so short. People could be having a perfectly decent conversation with someone, but when a new person is available, s/he is perceived as more interesting.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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After reading all of these examples, I've had this happen to me:
Someone will approach me and ask me a question. I'm in the middle of answering it (which would only take 15 seconds) and then the person will say, "sorry to cut you off, but I have to run" and then stand there and talk for 10 more minutes. So annoying.
Its kind of funny I saw this thread because my teenage daughter just complained to me about girls doing this exact same thing to her. I asked her how she responds to this and she says that she just stops talking and stays quiet for the rest of the time with the girls. She said it makes her feel like crap.
I have also had this done to me and I usually do the same thing as my daughter. I figure they weren't really interested in what I was saying. It makes me feel like crap, too. I always listen to people tell me stories even the ones I have heard 4 times before. I guess its the way people are taught to interact with others or maybe its just because people are self-absorbed.
I also think cell phones have destroyed the way people communicate with others. My daughter says her classmates have a very hard time communicating face to face.
TN2HSV- I would listen to your stories and not get distracted!
I love your comment in the first paragraph. Tell your daughter NOT to feel like crap....it's the others who are being rude that should feel like crap.
This is exactly what I do in that situation. If I'm speaking and someone cuts me off, assuming they aren't yelling "fire, evacuate the building", I just immediately stay silent....mid-sentence if that's where they cut me off. I wait until they are done speaking and then take my cue from them, or others that are part of the "conversation" to ask me to continue, or not.
Generally, there is an awkward silence very shortly after I quit speaking. I guess they assume I'm going to compete with them by either speaking louder or just droning on while they are talking. I'm not inclined to compete with anyone in that situation. I don't feel the need to. If they have that much to say on the subject, and it's important enough to interrupt someone else who's speaking....let them talk all they want. Generally people don't listen to well when their mouth is open....so why both speaking to someone when their mouth is flapping ?
I had an experience yesterday that reminds me of the OP's issue. I was talking with a lady at the pool and she would ask me a question and I would start to answer but before I could even finish a sentence she would interrupt me and veer into another area and then never ask me to finish what I was saying. Then she would ask a new question and before letting me finish, again she would interrupt and veer off topic. I gave up eventually and just started giving one or two word answers since that seemed to be all she would be still for before needing to speak again.
This is quite frustrating and I don't think is common. I found when I experienced this, that I began feeling "backed up", never having finished my thoughts. It must be that one doing that has no clue they are and is clearly not listening or interested. Either they never learned communication skills or maybe it is a brain disorder of some sort.
Don't feel bad OP. The majority of people, especially in work situation, will defer conversations about someone else at any given notice. They say there are three levels of conversation people tend to engage in. The least personal is taking about other peoples lives. The moderate is talking about our own lives. The most intimate is talking about ideas or concepts. It sounds like your "work collegues" are talking on all three levels with other closer "work collegues", whereas with you they know it's going to be all about you. not saying you're selfish or self-absorbed, although most of us are, but that they are perhaps simply tired of your subject matter. Specifically, you yourself said "I'm not a big talker and not the one who has a story every single day". Maybe they are figuring we know what she's gonna give us...
maybe you're just overthinking it as well. I dunno, I've only read a few posts...
GL
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Truthfully, my current job is where this has happened the most, which is what brought it to my attention. I've always made friends easily, and been a pretty social animal....was popular in school, etc. (granted, I grew up in the days before cell phones, internet, etc. when people HAD to talk to each other)
