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She is very self absorbed. Her emails will detail her weekend plans, than next week how the weekend went. Never asking really what your plans are. I have said things in the past like "I'm fine thanks for asking"....LOL. But it reverts back to the same. For example, before the 4th of July she sent a 4 paragraph email and talked about what she was doing for the long weekend, never said "and what are your plans?".
People can get crazy when it comes to weddings. I had a friend like that once. She sent me a save-the-date for a destination wedding 12+ hours from me and I told her I would not be able to attend due to the distance and cost. She then got annoyed with me for not sending my address for the actual invite, even though I got the save the date just fine and had not indicated to her that I'd moved.
I feel like people have to realize that there's something other than their wedding or their children's weddings.
I had a friend who was like that. She loved to talk about herself but was a very poor listener, and I didn't like that. Became friends at work where she was a temp for almost a year. When her time was up and she started to fade out (she wasn't good at keeping in touch), I soon let her drop out of my life.
One of my deceased daughter's friends, who lives in California, decided to have her wedding in Las Vegas on a MONDAY. That was a double-whammy inconvenience, as far as I'm concerned. I asked her why she scheduled this on a Monday and she gave me an odd but candid answer: "It saved me over $1000 to do it on Monday, and it assured me that the people that I really wanted to be there, would go." Well, I live in Oregon. On top of that, we were slated to be on vacation for a week. Her contact with us stopped after that. I did get a hold of her once and she said that she could never get mad at me, but I think she did.
Yes, people do expect a lot, and many don't think or seem to care what someone has to do and spend to get to an event like this. You just need to get there....LOL.
In my neck of the woods, the trend of the last few years has been destination showers, destination bachelor parties and destination weddings. Everyone is expected to spend money, on top of generous gifts, to go somewhere else to attend the event. It's ridiculous. I could easily afford to go to these things, but refuse, because I feel if the couple wants to go to their dream location, they can go on their honeymoon. Expecting everyone to be on board so you can marry on oceanfront property as though you're Madonna and Sean Penn, is obnoxious.
Yes, I agree. I realize it is a big day for them, this couple has been living together for 5 years, my friend was also very annoyed that the ex-husband (father of the bride) isn't paying for the wedding. He told them a couple of years ago he wouldn't because they have been living together(not a moral judgement he and my friend lived together) but he wouldn't do it, this is a big formal wedding.
Pattern of being self absorbed & entitlement issues. No one should expect others to pay for their wedding. Your friend has issues......obviously
Something else that I don't like - and correct me if this has always been acceptable - are invitations to weddings of people I don't know. Co-workers have done this, and I have attended only one of those weddings. I've never known their sons or daughters, and I know that, if I ever had a traditional wedding (never did), it wouldn't even occur to me to have people there that I don't know. To me this is just weird.
Seems that weddings have morphed from pleasant, local ceremonies to big productions with no thought to everyone else. A shame.
Yes, I am. I think you hit the nail on the head. The ex-husband remarried about 3 years ago to a woman is about 10 years younger than she is. I think the guy she had been dating that she met online dumped her in April.
I did decline politely, I sent the RSVP back to the daughter 3 weeks before their RSVP cutoff date, to be courteous as I know they need a head count. I told my "friend" in an email I would send a gift card and I will, despite her mother being rude and selfish, the young woman has always been polite and is nice.
I sent both her children checks when they graduated college, and I got thank you notes.
I could swing the trip, but I can't justify spending that kind of money and going all the way across the country for what is a long weekend. I would only do that for someone that you're really close to, talking on the phone once in the last year, and having a relationship now which is just email, well for me that isn't someone you make that kind of effort for.
I think you were exemplary, so stop worrying about it.
Something else that I don't like - and correct me if this has always been acceptable - are invitations to weddings of people I don't know. Co-workers have done this, and I have attended only one of those weddings. I've never known their sons or daughters, and I know that, if I ever had a traditional wedding (never did), it wouldn't even occur to me to have people there that I don't know. To me this is just weird.
Seems that weddings have morphed from pleasant, local ceremonies to big productions with no thought to everyone else. A shame.
I agree, but when my daughter got married, the only wedding I was in charge of, I found out that few friends of ours were hurt that they weren't invited. If I had it to do over, I would have invited them and gone with the chicken.
I think you were exemplary, so stop worrying about it.
Thank you. I'm not worried about it, I'm annoyed.
I think I will wait another week and if I don't hear from her tell her I didn't appreciate her attitude. And at this stage in life someone should be gracious and understanding, not act like a spoiled teenager who didn't get their way...LOL.
I'm sure it will fall on deaf ears(she is never wrong) but I will feel better. I showed her emails to a few people and their reaction was "wow".
I just traveled to a wedding from Georgia to Texas a month ago. Spent a few hundred. My friends and their families were ecstatic I made it and very grateful. It was only about a 15 hour drive which I split in two days. I went to college out that way so I'm very used to the drive, wasn't anything difficult for me. As others have said, that's no friend that you have.
Seain, your "friend" is unreasonable. Shouldn't she just be concerned with being mother of the bride and supporting her daughter on her big day and not pouting about whether she has an escort/friend there?
Kind of sad if she won't have any other friends there---if you are her only possibility.
What fascinates me is that she never wants to initiate phone contact with you but is into daily e-mails. Most people don't want to do e-mail---just texting or calling. Some people aren't into speaking on the phone---I get that---but it sounds like she was always willing to speak (especially about herself) as long as you called. What do you suppose is going on with her initiating e-mail but not phone calls? And you did say daily e-mails, correct? That seems lot of keeping in touch with an old friend from college (but kind of nice that you two have been doing that).
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