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And that she hadn't been as receptive to my youngest daughter. The reason? Because my 14 yr old has lighter skin (it's more "white" than "black") and my 11 yr old has a darker complexion (think light caramel brown). She told my youngest, "if only you had your sister's skin tone, you'd be so much prettier. It's a shame."
A lot of people have a favorite when it comes to children. It can be because the kid has bigger smile, larger cheeks, etc. Your aunt is not allowed to have a favorite kid because on the way the child looks? Preferring bigger cheeks is okay, but not other ethnic-associated looks?
The question is, is she treating your younger child badly? If the answer is "no," let it go, because you're over-reacting.
A lot of people have a favorite when it comes to children. It can be because the kid has bigger smile, larger cheeks, etc. Your aunt is not allowed to have a favorite kid because on the way the child looks? Preferring bigger cheeks is okay, but not other ethnic-associated looks?
The question is, is she treating your younger child badly? If the answer is "no," let it go, because you're over-reacting.
LOL
Yes, she is treating the child badly.
And no, it is not okay to do this based on 'ethnic-associated looks'.
Even if it isn't ethnic related looks it is not OK. It's not OK to tell a child that it is a shame she isn't taller like her sister because then she would be prettier. It's just not OK to put a child down for anything they don't have control over.
Tell the child that they would do better if they try harder. The child can control that. But you don't tell them that they are inferior for something the child can not fix or change.
It's kind of sad how some grown ups do not know how to handle kids. And I am surprised some kind of believe that it's OK to say I prefer this child because of their smile or she's thinner or what not. Even if you have a fat child (for whatever reason) you never ever create a situation like in the OP. You keep it to yourself and that is all.
Aunt was terribly wrong and it's kind of sad that she doesn't understand. Better to avoid her.
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