Outgoing, attractive, but no friends? (wife, female, male, person)
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As I've gotten older, my friendships with people either just ended, or it went from friendship to just just being acquaintances.
I really do not have a single person in my life that I consider to be a friend. What I mean by a friend is someone you spend time with, trust, like, and is reliable. I guess someone who is almost like family. I feel like I have several acquaintances but no friends.
I am social and go to the gym, on a coed sports' team, and go to social events in town but nothing ever leads beyond a conversation at that moment.
I just think about this when coworkers ask me how I'm spending my weekend and who I went traveling with (I travel a lot). Nearly every weekend I am alone, and I travel solo as well. I'm also moving 15 miles from where I'm living now and I'm just paying for movers since I have no friends who would help me.
It's really sad that as a kid I had friends but as an adult I have nobody.
To put this post in a proper context, you need to name the city or Area you live in. Also, even with friends, many people today pay movers. Love my friends but have zero interest in throwing my back out
I am social and go to the gym, on a coed sports' team, and go to social events in town but nothing ever leads beyond a conversation at that moment.
What are you specifically doing to move the relationship further? Are you asking them if they want to meet for coffee later? Are you asking them if they want to go for a hike? Are you asking them if they want to go to a book signing? The next step doesn't automatically happen; you have to initiate it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LamarOdomsDealer
I just think about this when coworkers ask me how I'm spending my weekend and who I went traveling with (I travel a lot). Nearly every weekend I am alone, and I travel solo as well. I'm also moving 15 miles from where I'm living now and I'm just paying for movers since I have no friends who would help me.
Now I certainly don't know you, but as this is something you specifically mentioned in your short post, it is EXTREMELY possible that people are shying away from being your "friend", because you are coming across as someone who thinks your friends should do stuff for you. Friends are not your labor pool; friends don't owe you favors; friends don't have to cater to you. If you have these expectations; the people you are meeting probably get this vibe, too.
What are you specifically doing to move the relationship further? Are you asking them if they want to meet for coffee later? Are you asking them if they want to go for a hike? Are you asking them if they want to go to a book signing? The next step doesn't automatically happen; you have to initiate it.
Now I certainly don't know you, but as this is something you specifically mentioned in your short post, it is EXTREMELY possible that people are shying away from being your "friend", because you are coming across as someone who thinks your friends should do stuff for you. Friends are not your labor pool; friends don't owe you favors; friends don't have to cater to you. If you have these expectations; the people you are meeting probably get this vibe, too.
I understand friends aren't your slaves..... If my friends were moving, I would help them. That's all I meant by that. I think you looked into what I said a bit too much no offense.
Location: In a perfect world winter does not exist
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I know, its hard to make real friends out there as an adult. Its like either lts a love interest or nothing. Getting people to spend time with you is hard these days considering pretty much everyone is busy up the Butt trying to make a buck or spending a zillion hours on there cell phones. Its a vicious cycle, people who look for company give up and go into cell phone or tablet or cpu addiction and join the mass of people who have no real friends just glued to a screen.
Wish I could help more, cause I am in the same boat. We all could meet people at work but after the work day is done we all go separate ways.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Not to talk down on you OP but I always think something is up when someone does not have one close friend. I'm very reserved, half of CD thinks I'm a potentially killer sociopath, but even I have several close friends.
That said, I think you are looking at friendship as a labor exchange potentially which may explain why people are reluctant to befriend you.
Not to talk down on you OP but I always think something is up when someone does not have one close friend. I'm very reserved, half of CD thinks I'm a potentially killer sociopath, but even I have several close friends.
That said, I think you are looking at friendship as a labor exchange potentially which may explain why people are reluctant to befriend you.
Because I said friends normally would help friends move? WTF? Is this not common anymore? In the past you just bought friends beer and pizza and they helped you moved. When the moved, they did the same thing.
I think the OP may be like me. I work in a very public-oriented position and interact with hundreds of people every day. I get to know entire families by name and see them every day. I know a lot of people and was voted "class favorite" when I was in school. I am married, and my wife and I hang out with people somewhat regularly.
However, I haven't felt like I had a "best friend" for the past decade or so. I just have acquaintances. I don't know if I just don't fully trust people 100% or what, but I haven't found someone (besides my wife) that I enjoy being around all the time. I need a guy best friend.
As for the moving comments... I have helped a few people move into new houses. Friends do help each other move. I don't like to ask others for help because I feel like I owe them.
Because I said friends normally would help friends move? WTF? Is this not common anymore? In the past you just bought friends beer and pizza and they helped you moved. When the moved, they did the same thing.
I remember that too. I was younger...had more time and strength...and friends had less 'stuff' than they do now.
Because I said friends normally would help friends move? WTF? Is this not common anymore? In the past you just bought friends beer and pizza and they helped you moved. When the moved, they did the same thing.
How old are you? Maybe this is true the first time you move after college, but after a while, grownups do pay movers.
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