Going out to eat with inlaws (wife, spouse, husband, person)

[tiredtired]

OK, help me out here.

MIL is in town. She loves to go out to eat. However, she doesn't like to pay for everyone's meal. She wants to pay for the meal of the people she likes and doesn't want to pay for the meal of the people that she doesn't like.

There have been many awkward times when she announces to the server whose meal she will not be paying for and tells the server how to split the check in some odd fashion, which then just confuses the poor server. They are used to one check or separate checks, not 4 people on one check and 1 person on another check.


Since I'm one of the people she doesn't want to pay for the meal, I have no influence over her.


What do I do? I'm thinking that I'll eat at home by myself and save myself the embarrasement and awkwardness of weird check splitting and public announcements of who she will and will not pay for.

[cpg35223]

Wow.

That's pretty bad.

The solution here, if you really wanted to be petty, is to pick up the check for everyone but her.

If, on the other hand, you want to keep peace in the family, you just have to write it off as a character flaw and soldier on.

[froglipz]

Tell her EXACTLY what you see her do, during a discussion prior to going out. Also inform her that it unacceptable to treat you like this.

[gentlearts]

Ok, so who is in this group of people that goes out to eat? Your immediate family, or a random group of people?

If my family went out to eat with my MIL, we would be paying for her.

Anyway, your husband should be setting his mother straight on this odd behavior, or as a group, you should tell her you aren't going.

[Lbjen]

Wouldn't you have to explain to your husband/wife why you're not going? Is that going to cause more of a problem than the mild discomfort that her being weird with the server causes? I would be more concerned about why your spouse is not handling this behavior, either by telling her she is out of order or coming up with a way to avoid her pulling this BS, perhaps by offering to pay for everyone.

[Mattie]

Originally Posted by gentlearts

Ok, so who is in this group of people that goes out to eat? Your immediate family, or a random group of people?

If my family went out to eat with my MIL, we would be paying for her.

Anyway, your husband should be setting his mother straight on this odd behavior, or as a group, you should tell her you aren't going.

Yes, this. Pick up the check. If you want to make a point, tell her she can get the next one.

[Robino1]

The devious part of me likes the idea of picking up everyone's check.....except hers! Bwahahahaha!

But seriously, if your spouse does not stand up to their mom in defense of you, there are more worrisome things going on in your relationship.

[tottsieanna]

Originally Posted by Lbjen

Wouldn't you have to explain to your husband/wife why you're not going? Is that going to cause more of a problem than the mild discomfort that her being weird with the server causes? I would be more concerned about why your spouse is not handling this behavior, either by telling her she is out of order or coming up with a way to avoid her pulling this BS, perhaps by offering to pay for everyone.

This. Your spouse should be setting her straight. No way would I let my parents treat my husband that way.

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by Robino1

The devious part of me likes the idea of picking up everyone's check.....except hers! Bwahahahaha!

But seriously, if your spouse does not stand up to their mom in defense of you, there are more worrisome things going on in your relationship.

Originally Posted by tottsieanna

This. Your spouse should be setting her straight. No way would I let my parents treat my husband that way.

Both these posters are spot on with their advice.

[HighFlyingBird]

I would tell hubby and MIL why I will no longer be going out to eat with them. How rude! No way would I even subject myself to that