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Yes I think it's a sign of cheapness...or maybe more so pettiness. People who go through life with a feeling of "lack," tend to be cheap. Everything is tallied up, be it $$, time, who last called who, etc, etc. I know people who are multi-millionares who act this way. They'd quibble if they felt they paid $1 more than they should. Clearly it's not about money, per se, since they have plenty of it. It's more a spiritual void (lack of abundance, bean-counter mentality) and a chip on their shoulders that someone is always getting the better of them.
I think this is true, particularly about the wife; she does seem to have a chip on her shoulder and thinks everyone else has more money than she does. And that someone is getting "ahead" financially and laughing about it. But there also seems to be a lack of social graces. Social graces aren't something that can be taught to someone; they either have them or they don't.
Why yes, you should have to pay $9.50 for your $4.75 drink because they said so! Good grief! Where do people come from who act like this over something so trivial? I can see bringing it to the attention of the restaurant because they were supposedly billed for something that they did not receive, but it's hardly your fault because you ordered and paid for a drink. Moreover, who scrutinizes their receipts after they leave a restaurant and look for itemized charges? I only keep a copy of the final total, not the itemized bill, which I do review before signing, as do most normal people.
I would reevaluate the need to surround myself with people like this because such behavior is frustrating beyond belief, and you cannot enjoy their company because you know that every dime is being counted and it's perceived that you are trying to get one over on them, given the frenzy over $4.75.
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All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
~William Shakespeare (As You Like It Act II, Scene VII)
I am wondering if this is tightwad behavior or not?
We dined out with a group of couples at a restaurant. My spouse & I asked for a separate check. We paid separately for our order, and tipped separately. Everyone else did the same - all separate checks.
The next morning, 9 a.m. one of the men we'd dined with called my husband and said there was a drink that appeared on his bill that was something I had ordered, a virgin pina colada. He wanted us to reimburse him the amount. However, we checked our receipt and it showed that we had paid for this drink I ordered. So the drink was a mistake that the waiter had duplicated and put on their bill. They insisted we pay them back, though and the wife sent me emails telling me to mail them a check for $4.75. We told them to take it up with the restaurant. My husband had to send them a copy of our receipt showing we paid for our drink. I think these people are weirdo tightwads not just based on this, but other nickel and dime issues from the past. All that over four dollars and seventy-five cents? I wouldn't freak over that small amount of money
They're crazy. There are people who can not see beyond a number though. If it was $1.00 they'd do the same thing, because the "deal" was that everyone paid their own check, and what happened did not conform to the "deal". Therefore, they were shorted.
I probably would avoid those people if possible. Who has time for that kind of nonsense after what's supposed to be a nice evening?
I am wondering if this is tightwad behavior or not?
We dined out with a group of couples at a restaurant. My spouse & I asked for a separate check. We paid separately for our order, and tipped separately. Everyone else did the same - all separate checks.
The next morning, 9 a.m. one of the men we'd dined with called my husband and said there was a drink that appeared on his bill that was something I had ordered, a virgin pina colada. He wanted us to reimburse him the amount. However, we checked our receipt and it showed that we had paid for this drink I ordered. So the drink was a mistake that the waiter had duplicated and put on their bill. They insisted we pay them back, though and the wife sent me emails telling me to mail them a check for $4.75. We told them to take it up with the restaurant. My husband had to send them a copy of our receipt showing we paid for our drink. I think these people are weirdo tightwads not just based on this, but other nickel and dime issues from the past. All that over four dollars and seventy-five cents? I wouldn't freak over that small amount of money
Pot meet kettle.
You may want to consider that you and your spouse are behaving the same way....All over less than 5.00.
She did not freak out over this. She showed them they were wrong. Telling them to take it up with the restaurant was after she proved they paid for their own drink and still expected her to pay them back.
I agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND
Pot meet kettle.
You may want to consider that you and your spouse are behaving the same way....All over less than 5.00.
No, they aren't. The OP didn't freak out or call and accuse anyone of not paying their way. She just reacted to the other couple. What should she have done? Paid for her drink twice to appease the tightwads?
If I'd been the other couple, I wouldn't have even approached the OP about the drink. Life is too short to make a big deal out of $5.
So you would pay for a waiter's error in calculating someone else's bill? It's not so much the amount of money, as it just doesn't make sense. We all had separate checks. We are not responsible for anyone else's check. I also don't usually mail checks for such small amounts of money. If it were our fault and we did owe the money, I'd just rather give to them the next time I see them.
Nope, just pointing out the absurdity of saying you wouldn't freak out over the amount, and then making a thread about it. And titling that thread "Money issues in friendships". If I considered the other couple friends, I wouldn't make a big deal over the waiter's mistake, and I would pay. Nothing more.
It's stupid for either of you to be quibbling over this amount. They should have talked to the waiter in the moment the check was given and it would never have been an issue. They shouldn't have to pay for a drink that wasn't ordered, you shouldn't have to pay for a waiter's mistake, but you have both gone to the mat about it (granted, they started it). It's not a big deal for them to have to pay, but then it's also not a big deal for you to pay, either.
I don't understand where some of you are coming from saying OP should pay for the restaurant's mistake. I'm all for people taking responsibility...when it's called for. But it just happened that the wrong charge was for a drink OP ordered...AND PAID FOR! What if another table had ordered the most expensive item on the menu and it was mistakenly put on this couple's bill? Whose responsibility would it be then? The restaurant's, same as this case.
And everyone has the responsibility to remember what they ordered and look at the bill before paying for it. This is especially true in a large party, where things get difficult and confusing. I used to hate when I hosted large Meetup groups and the waiter would bring a dish to the table and announce what it was. Nobody would claim it! It's like they forgot what they ordered. They couldn't even take the responsibility to remember what they ordered. This guy needs to step up and look at his bill before he pays. It would make his life and the restaurant's easier to do it right then and there.
The restaurant made the mistake. The "friend" made the mistake of agreeing to the restaurant's mistake by not looking at and paying the bill. The only mistake OP made was going out with these people, but obviously she didn't know they were this bad.
Some self-help gurus will ask: "Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?" In the friend's case, obviously he prefers the self-righteousness of being convinced that he is right and values this and the $4.75 more than the friendship. It's debatable whether he should have even brought it up to the OP. When she told him she had paid for the drink, that's when it should stop. It would take the same amount of time for the "friend" to contact the restaurant as to keep badgering the OP--wonder why he doesn't do that, especially if he wants to maintain the friendship?
when everybody wants a separate check, thats going to cause mistakes, more work for the waiter to figure out who gets charged for each item in the group.
I prefer not dining in groups for this reason, there is always somebody that doesnt want to pay their share or expects you to pay for everything
Ive been dining alone for many years, much more enjoyable
just think of it this way, for $5 bucks you can end your friendship, and get rid of them, just pay him his $5 bucks and dont go out with them anymore.
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