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Here's my theory on how Reality TV has changed my relationships:
If someone I know makes a habit of reality TV, they're people with whom I just don't need relationship. Just saying.
And remember the show Jersey Belle? Filmed in my stomping grounds. I know several people on that show. Just as bad in real life as they are on the one episode I actually saw. Fifteen minutes of my life I'll never get back again.
Really interesting! And I don't even watch reality TV!
I have noticed, though, the tendency to very staged, contrived proposals, which I think is odd. I somehow think it stems from insecurity. Which would also be odd, because most couples today would already be living with each other.
TracySam, very interesting post and thoughtful examples.
I agree that "reality" TV and the obsession with social media have profoundly changed our culture. Some for the good, as WorldKlas points out. My mother, who is 90, swears she never even heard the term "transgendered" until this decade. Now, she could correctly explain the differences between drag and gender fluidity.
Some for the bad as we seem to be becoming more crass and accepting of gauche and even cruel behavior as never before. If "someone" is doing it — on television, on the internet, even in a magazine — then it seems to give permission for more people to do the same or up the ante. Even the things people are willing to talk about in so-called "polite society" has changed profoundly in recent years. I can also vividly remember my mother's horror over the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal and how that was, according to her, "forcing news people to talk about that awful stuff on television." Awful stuff being oral sex, I presume.
I especially think you're right in blaming self-created dramas like elaborate marriage proposals and gender-reveal parties on people's desire to ape "reality" TV. The sweet-sixteen party craze grew in proportion with its presence on TV. Even invitations to go to a prom have taken on these characteristics in some places. I know kids who live in privileged suburbia who expect a prom invitation to be a "surprise" on an elaborate scale, often with a pre-arranged audience. No value placed on privacy.
Having been raised in a house much like your own, OP, I also see the real estate/DIY programs as seriously influencing our housing and other lifestyle choices. How do some people even know that some of these things exist, other than seeing them on TV? Some examples of previously unusual things that now have filtered commonly into the middle class: chef's kitchens, spa-style bathrooms, elaborately furnished closets, man-caves, etc. We used to do our paper work and hobbies on the dining room table. Now we have home offices and craft rooms. I'm not saying that's bad, I'm just saying it wouldn't exist without television telling us, "You need this." The same as expensive products like certain kinds of vehicles, jewelry, luxury goods, etc. If we aren't rich would we even know what "Blahniks" or "Choos" are if it weren't for the Kardashians, Housewives, or Sex in the City?
On the most basic level I see people as being far more willing (even expecting) to draw attention to themselves than ever before. How many more people walk up willingly to a person on the street with a microphone than would have in the past? I'd bet their number has more than doubled. ESPN even had a promo awhile ago where they showed non-athletes doing incredibly stupid/dangerous/accidental things who later looked into a camera and said, "But it got me on Sports Center!" A TV appearance apparently justifies a whole host of bizarre activities.
I do worry that many who are very young today will see themselves as failures if they haven't gotten their 15 minutes of national fame. How many young people would far rather be famous than quietly successful, financial or otherwise?
The oddest thing is, we don't even have to watch these programs to know all about them. Never once in my life did I ever see an episode of Jersey Shore, yet I could pick every one of the cast members out of a line-up and I would even know some of their names. Despite the fact I don't want to!
Last edited by Jukesgrrl; 10-18-2016 at 03:40 PM..
Reason: added info
All of that stuff is the biggest garbage going. I don't watch any of it. In terms of it affecting relationships, only a pinhead would allow this stuff to become a problem for them. The younger set might be more easily influenced but I imagine the older gen x crowd wouldn't be victims, for lack of another term.
All of that stuff is the biggest garbage going. I don't watch any of it. In terms of it affecting relationships, only a pinhead would allow this stuff to become a problem for them. The younger set might be more easily influenced but I imagine the older gen x crowd wouldn't be victims, for lack of another term.
I think one of TracySam's most important points is, we're influenced by this is ways we don't really even perceive. It's often not a choice. It just happens. You don't have to watch reality TV for its content to seep into your consciousness. I have never had a Facebook page, yet I know perfectly well what the terms like "put it on your wall" and "unfriend" mean. Think about how a phrase like "voted off the island" is part of our language now. That's a reality-TV-speak, yet it's now used as commonly as putting "-gate" on the end of a word to indicate scandal.
I remember what a columnist in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette said years ago about the O.J. trial. "You don't have to watch it. It will come in through the fillings in your teeth."
I think one of TracySam's most important points is, we're influenced by this is ways we don't really even perceive. It's often not a choice. It just happens. You don't have to watch reality TV for its content to seep into your consciousness. I have never had a Facebook page, yet I know perfectly well what the terms like "put it on your wall" and "unfriend" mean. Think about how a phrase like "voted off the island" is part of our language now. That's a reality-TV-speak, yet it's now used as commonly as putting "-gate" on the end of a word to indicate scandal.
I remember what a columnist in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette said years ago about the O.J. trial. "You don't have to watch it. It will come in through the fillings in your teeth."
Good point. I also think a lot of people see the kinds of things I mentioned, and it doesn't really register that the practice originated on reality TV shows. Even a person who has never watched a single "unscripted" show has had all kinds of things pop up on their lives that were started by such shows.
Someone even mentioned in some other thread noticing the new "thing" with women who are trying not to cry "fanning" their face with their hands while blinking. That definitely came from "reality" TV shows. If anyone did that in 1990, you'd think they were having some sort of seizure or were being extremely dramatic to the point of irony. Now, it's considered "normal."
I think one of TracySam's most important points is, we're influenced by this is ways we don't really even perceive. It's often not a choice. It just happens. You don't have to watch reality TV for its content to seep into your consciousness. I have never had a Facebook page, yet I know perfectly well what the terms like "put it on your wall" and "unfriend" mean. Think about how a phrase like "voted off the island" is part of our language now. That's a reality-TV-speak, yet it's now used as commonly as putting "-gate" on the end of a word to indicate scandal.
I remember what a columnist in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette said years ago about the O.J. trial. "You don't have to watch it. It will come in through the fillings in your teeth."
Probably some measure of truth here, unfortunately all kinds of crap seeps into the vernacular.
I know I posted earlier but was gone all day and came back to the topic.. As I mentioned I watch vintage sometimes 100 year old silents up to maybe 1974 TV then I just cut off ... however ...
I was not aware this is where gender reveal parties came from and wondered this and I know a young woman about 25, who had these parties with all 3 of her children . Invited over one hundred friends and fam.
The middle child was last year and she made the mistake of inviting all of these people for a gender reveal ULTRASOUND then party afterwards without confirming the date with the image tech company.. Well the image tech reminded her she did not call back to confirm the date she'd been given via voicemail and she'd given her spot away - this young woman went bonkers ... many of her friends and family gave false 1 star reviews on FB ..really mean ones . It was bad.
So they found an alternate company willing to do it on very short notice at that point and as they all gathered around the ultrasound machine .. the tech told her she needed to go to the hospital asap - the baby was DEAD .. this is no joke ..she went from being extremely angry and slagging on the first bewildered tech on social media on a Friday to having one on Sunday tell her her child had no heartbeat and she needed her Dr NOW . It was very bad , REALLY bad . I am older and we just didn't do these things and I had really mixed emotions about this .. they even had to do a go fund me to take off work and for cemetery expenses ( I did chip in $50.- not being mean just REALLY short notice and that was all I could afford) The funeral home was free .
She just had her third almost a year to the day this happened, last month ..
The whole incident was just very weird/tragic idk just very bad.
This is a topic about Non-Romantic Relationships, not TV. Please don't move it.
I'm noticing more and more how so much "reality" TV has influenced a lot of change in the "normal" lives of most of us, even if we don't normally watch reality-TV. I'm thinking of roughly that last 16 years, so maybe 2000-present. Things that are prevalent on reality TV are becoming more and more "normal" in real life.
hmmm. interesting...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
Examples:
1. Public fights (verbal with an audience or online with an audience) including "cutting" people out of one's life. Sure this happened in the past, but I think there was more of a sense of "not airing your dirty laundry in public" in the past. Now, since loud dramatic arguments are seen on TV a lot, people have decided it's something to add to their everyday "menu" of behavior. Also, in the past, people did become estranged and "cut others off" more or less permanently, but today, it seems to be broadcast much more publicly. It used to be something that, if you did cut someone out of your life, you'd be more private about. It was kind of a big deal to cut a relative out of your life, and not a situation you'd necessarily be proud of. Nowadays, people seem to brag openly about how they've cut this or that person off for good.
I'm the last person to defend reality tv (I don't watch any of it) but could this just be a trend of actually having the means to broadcast ones life? Previously, the only way to do this was to take out an add in the paper, or on the radio... no one was going to go to that much trouble. These days, a fb post is literally at your finger tips. I think this one could be a result of social media, than "reality tv"...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
2. Big production going into a marriage proposal. It seems like anyone I hear about getting engaged today has some big story about all the "production" the guy put into surprising the woman and proposing marriage. Secret planning with the woman's friends and family. Secret planting of a band or musician to spontaneously start playing music. Even some over-the-top "romantic" date like going to the top of some building, to get on your knee and propose. I think back in my day, guys just popped the question, and maybe the biggest "production" would be going to a nice restaurant or getting on his knee. Now it's all public and lots of over-the-top spectacle. I totally blame reality TV shows for this trend. I see it's even trickled down to asking someone to the prom in high school. No longer is it just asking someone to the prom, but a big production-number and prom-posal.
UGHH. yeah. Probably a mix of social media & reality tv.
lol. yup RealityTV, diy shows do make it seem "oh-so-easy" to renovate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
4. Baby Gender Reveal Parties. Seriously, No one ever had such a stupid party before reality TV shows invented this. In the old days, expectant couples would just announce to family "It's a ___!" You'd say "Oh that's great, congrats" and move on. Now, you have to rent out a big catering hall or invite 100 people to your big open-floor-plan house and have a huge gender reveal party. It has to involve some trick like releasing pink or blue balloons, or cutting into a cake that is pink or blue inside. Seems to me to be just another excuse to solicit gifts or to draw attention to oneself.
wth? these are a thing?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
5. Talking on your cell phone on speaker. Yes, we all see people out in public talking on their cellphones all the time. I get it. But now I am noticing more and more people talking on their cell phones, in public, with the phone out in front of them, horizontally, and on speaker. I'm sure this is what reality TV people do so that the audience can get both sides of their phone conversation. But real people, in real life, have no good reason to be talking on the phone this way out in public. I might put my phone in my office on speaker when I have colleagues in my office and we have to conference with someone else. I might put a personal call on speaker when I'm at home doing something with both my hands and I can't hold the phone. But that's because I'm home and no one around me can hear the conversation or be disturbed by the conversation.
lol. I have noticed this, and its really friggen annoying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
6. Yelling and "hooting" when happy about something. I know there have always been loud people and people like me who are not so loud. But it seems to me in the recent decade or so, it's more "normal" to yell and "whhhooooooohh" when you're happy about even the smallest thing. I don't think I really ever saw this with any regularity prior to this century. Maybe at a sporting event you'd yell "yyyeeeaaahhh!" or "whhhhooooo-hooooo." Or on the rare occasion where there'd be male strippers, women would yell like that (and yes, I was annoyed by that even 20 years ago). But now people (mostly women for whatever reason) seem to do this out in public for reasons as small as ordering a second drink, the food arriving at their table, or seeing a good looking guy, or finding out something is on sale when as the cash register. I even notice people I knew for years, who never were so loud or apt to draw attention to themselves in the past, now doing this yelling/hooting thing. I even saw professional women at a professional conference doing this when a speaker said something they agreed with. I really think seeing it on TV so much has put this onto the "menu" of people who in the past never would have considered doing it.
I have not noticed this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
What other ways have you noticed reality TV affecting our normal lives and interpersonal relationships?
I watched a local tv show the other day, on young people (mostly women) wanting excessive plastic surgery to look like those Kardassian clowns. Pumped up lips. They all want to look like clones, with their fake lips, fake eyelashes and straight hair..... This is a fairly obvious one, but it was kind of alarming when the plastic surgeons in the room were saying, they get girls daily bringing in photos of those kardashians asking to "look like K ....." (whatever their K names are...)
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
Good point. I also think a lot of people see the kinds of things I mentioned, and it doesn't really register that the practice originated on reality TV shows. Even a person who has never watched a single "unscripted" show has had all kinds of things pop up on their lives that were started by such shows.
Someone even mentioned in some other thread noticing the new "thing" with women who are trying not to cry "fanning" their face with their hands while blinking. That definitely came from "reality" TV shows. If anyone did that in 1990, you'd think they were having some sort of seizure or were being extremely dramatic to the point of irony. Now, it's considered "normal."
^^ lol I also don't know what this is, or haven't seen it. But could this be similar to the 90's and all those Seinfeld sayings? Those who didn't watch seinfeld, still know the "these pretzels are making me thirsty" or "yada yada yada" etc.
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