Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
"You're right. I'm being hard on this guy for things that are out of his control. But meeting him like someone suggested earlier isn't going to change my mind about him. It wouldn't matter to me how nice and genuine he seemed because I know that people can seem nice and genuine and then later on you find out that it was all fake. So I'm just going to have to trust her judgment on this one and she's decided that he's worth marrying, so that's that."
That sounds like progress to me compared to the first post.
But you all went right on beating her up without skipping a beat. Some of you must be having a really bad day.
My day is absolutely fabulous. Yours?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
My mom actually says that I'm too trusting. She says that I'm not suspicious enough of people and that I assume that everyone is harmless. I don't agree with her, but this is what a person who actually knows me thinks of me. I guess the truth is that I'm more likely to trust certain people more than others even without knowing them well, and this guy just doesn't fall into that particular group of people.
I definitely sometimes have preconceived notions about people, but I don't think that's uncommon. I have a coworker who I assumed was a certain way but then after I talked to him a few times, I was surprised to find out that I actually think he's a pretty cool guy. (I mean, as far as I know since I don't know what he's like outside of work.) But assuming that he is the person who he seems to be, I can admit that I was wrong about him, so I could also be wrong about other people.
OK so addressing the bold, what specifically do you mean by "certain people"? I have a feeling I already know but I'm curious to see if you admit it especially given your second paragraph.
No need to single out anyone, but my coworker and I are culturally similar, so it's not necessarily what you're thinking.
I'm not unsupportive. I don't NOT want her to get married. And once again, I don't dislike the guy. I never had any thoughts about him either way prior to finding out that they were engaged. I felt a bit uneasy when I found out, posted this thread to vent, but aside from that I'm pretty much over it. I want her to be happy, he seems to make her happy, so that's all that matters.
If she asked me to do it, I would. I DON'T HATE THE GUY. I don't know him. I'll behave appropriately at her wedding the same way I'd behave at anyone else's.
Are you two close enough that she would ask you to be in her wedding?
Are you two close enough that she would ask you to be in her wedding?
There are definitely a few people who I'd expect her to ask before me, but it's a possibility that I could be included too. It would depend on how many bridesmaids she wants.
I mentioned earlier I have a friend who bought a house, they have a friend I know who has made excuse after excuse to not come over and see it, even though they live close by.
It's pretty obvious they're resentful, this person wasn't bragging about the house either.
You're supposed to happy for people you care about when something good happens to them. Whether it be a new job, new car, or an engagement.
If she asks me, I wouldn't decline. However, I won't be offended if she doesn't ask me.[/quote]
The wedding party is supposed to be comprised of people who wholeheartedly support the couple getting married. You don't. So you really aren't a good candidate for bridesmaid.
The wedding party is supposed to be comprised of people who wholeheartedly support the couple getting married. You don't. So you really aren't a good candidate for bridesmaid.
It's up to her whether she wants me to be a bridesmaid. I'm not going to decline just because you think I should.
Mail order brides or grooms are usually a better option (look wise or financially) than one would find in US. Thats what I have noticed. Usually such marriages would never happen if both the couple are from US originally. Unless it is some sort of weird third world family imposed wedding with a cousin or some monetary benefit, usually people leave US to find a deal which they won't find in US.\\
I have seen lot of people shopping around overseas for hot or young significant other on basis of their US citizenship . Its common and acceptable in many cultures.. Stick to your original plan of minding your business even if you think the significant other seems out of her league.
I went through this with my friends & family. Some of them were jealous I was getting married and they used my fiance's country of origin as an excuse for disliking him and being "against" the marriage. I did not get the support I needed at an important point in my life due to other people's jealousy problem. When I got pregnant with my first child, I was scared to death they were going to have the same reaction. It's really a shame that people can't come together and support each other. Jealousy, envy and resentment seem to rule the day. I can't stand jealous people, they just make the world an uglier place.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
