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Good grief! She's copped up to her insecurity and trust issues MORE THAN ONCE and has been pretty mature about it, even though every other post seems to be bashing her for what she's owned up from the very beginning.
She vented folks. Can we take her off the BBQ spit yet?
No, I like my meat extra crispy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire
But yet she's still sticking to her unfounded assumptions.
I agree. I don't get it, why post? Just to show us how you really feel about the guy? What do you want from us, OP? Sympathy? Advice? Insight? You have enough insight yourself it seems. A secure open-minded person cannot relate to what you are feeling.
Yes, you sound single and bitter - you said so yourself. So....?
I agree. I don't get it, why post? Just to show us how you really feel about the guy? What do you want from us, OP? Sympathy? Advice? Insight? You have enough insight yourself it seems. A secure open-minded person cannot relate to what you are feeling.
Yes, you sound single and bitter - you said so yourself. So....?
I want nothing from anyone here. I just had a need to type out my thoughts and discuss this so that I'll be able to sleep peacefully tonight.
When I moved in with my now-husband of 20 years, my brother in law pulled me aside at a family gathering. He said, "You seem really happy. But I care about you, so I want to express my concerns. You haven't known each other for very long. Are you sure you're doing the right thing?" I reassured him that I was absolutely certain and that I was deliriously happy.
I know a lot of people would have been offended by his "interference", but I was very moved by his concern. It was a very "big brother" thing to do. I WAS offended by the relatives that were whispering behind my back instead.
Maybe you should just sit down and have a talk with her to alleviate your concerns.
When I moved in with my now-husband of 20 years, my brother in law pulled me aside at a family gathering. He said, "You seem really happy. But I care about you, so I want to express my concerns. You haven't known each other for very long. Are you sure you're doing the right thing?" I reassured him that I was absolutely certain and that I was deliriously happy.
I know a lot of people would have been offended by his "interference", but I was very moved by his concern. It was a very "big brother" thing to do. I WAS offended by the relatives that were whispering behind my back instead.
Maybe you should just sit down and have a talk with her to alleviate your concerns.
Honestly, I would never say anything to her to rain on her parade. She has people who are closer to her than me who would be in a better position to express any concerns that they feel. From what I can tell, she seems very happy!
I would hope that MOST don't. But considering where he's from (which I won't state for privacy reasons), I can't help but wonder if he rushed to propose in part because that would mean that he would get to move to a nice house in the US.
It's not that easy to become a citizen even if you marry one. My neighbor married someone from Mexico. He is here legally. They have a home, a son and a business here together. It's been over 7 years and he still doesn't have citizenship even with an immigration lawyer. Immigration keeps mysteriously losing his paperwork.
I also have a friend who also married someone from Mexico and after a few years and him realizing that it wasn't going to be that easy to get citizenship even marrying an American, he left her and went back to Mexico. Of course after racking up a bunch of bills and ruining her credit!
Anyway, I'm just saying that marrying into the country isn't as easy as it once was. I hope for the best with your relative!n!!
Any chance you can visit so that you can meet him? No guarantees that you'll end up thinking he's great & all your concerns will disappear, but it might ease a few.
Would you like someone asking you how much do you have in savings, checking, and investments?
This is a 35 year old woman, not a teeenager.
Yes, and it's a 35 year woman that OP cares about. I don't know about you, but when I care about someone, I will try my best to make sure they're not harmed.
And to answer you question, I'm fine with someone asking me about my finances as long as they were genuinely doing so because they're looking out for my best interest. That would never offend me. If I wasn't comfortable in telling them exact numbers, I'd just say that I've done the math and I'm good. Don't worry about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hertfordshire
The problem is that the OP is worried based on absolutely nothing other than her imagination.
Again, what's wrong with worrying? As long as she's not trying to break them up over some unfounded fear, what's the issue? People worry about terrorist attacks, getting fired, death of loved ones all the time. As long as they're not crippled with fear and have it under control, I don't see a problem.
It's not that easy to become a citizen even if you marry one. My neighbor married someone from Mexico. He is here legally. They have a home, a son and a business here together. It's been over 7 years and he still doesn't have citizenship even with an immigration lawyer. Immigration keeps mysteriously losing his paperwork.
I also have a friend who also married someone from Mexico and after a few years and him realizing that it wasn't going to be that easy to get citizenship even marrying an American, he left her and went back to Mexico. Of course after racking up a bunch of bills and ruining her credit!
Anyway, I'm just saying that marrying into the country isn't as easy as it once was. I hope for the best with your relative!n!!
Again, what's wrong with worrying? As long as she's not trying to break them up over some unfounded fear, what's the issue? People worry about terrorist attacks, getting fired, death of loved ones all the time. As long as they're not crippled with fear and have it under control, I don't see a problem.
Then what's the point in posting? Just looking for validation? She came to the wrong crowd.
Then what's the point in posting? Just looking for validation? She came to the wrong crowd.
The point? She was venting. She said it in her very first post.
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