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The couple asked if more was needed and offered their debit card. The other set of friends were classy and said no.
Not sure that classy is the reason else the OP would never have known about the ensuing shortage unless the friends complained about it when they realized it.
Separate checks would have solved this situation but there would have been no situation to solve if the other couple's two college age sons had paid their share. It's not reasonable for the other couple to expect their sons' share to be split among the group so they should have stepped up and offered to cover them. They may have offered their debit card but it may have been an offer they knew (or hoped) would be declined. I'm not buying that they could be $50 short and not know it. Maybe $5 or $10, not $50.
My wife and I went to dinner to celebrate our new born daughter with some friends.
I hate to say this but i think the couple pulled a fast one by taking advantage of the chaos. No one was drunk and how hard is it to figure out a bill. Bizarre What do others think?
Don't invite a large group next time!
I would say the group was caught up with a cash shortage so out of embarrassment the party chalked it up to bad math.
Sounds like they pulled a fast one for sure. It's not hard to figure out that when you are giving the same amount (or less) as the other couples but you have four people, that you are scamming someone. I'd ask for separate bills next time.
Very strange.
When I invite people for dinner for my celebration I expect to pay for the whole event. Why do you think they should pay? They were invited, no? Would you expect them to reimburse your expenses if the dinner was at your home?
One of my pet peeves and a reason I never drink in a bar is the practice of "buying rounds". I refuse to buy/accept a drink. When I go to a bar I want to have control over how many drinks I consume and how much money I spend. Some folks think I am a jerk because of that. Oh well ". . .you and the horse you rode in on".
Very strange.
When I invite people for dinner for my celebration I expect to pay for the whole event. Why do you think they should pay? They were invited, no? Would you expect them to reimburse your expenses if the dinner was at your home?
OP already said this more a mutual gathering of friends than an invitation event. OP did not pick the time or place. This was not a dinner at home.
And no, I don't expect to pay for everyone just because I suggest to some of my friends that we get together for dinner and drinks.
Besides, that just takes the problems to a whole other level. Instead of being resentful over paying for the most $5 drinks you can be resentful for hosting the most $500 events as there will always be the ones who never "host" or host at a cheap happy hour.
In any event, it should be crystal clear when an invitation is at the expense of the inviter or a pay your own way thing. Doesn't sound like there was any confusion or misunderstanding on that in this case so it's really irrelevant to the question at hand.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 6 days ago)
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This is kind of confusing - because it was a celebration of a child's one year birthday - it does make it unclear whether it was a hosted event or whether it was every man for himself.
BUT. I've been going to restaurants for a long time, and it used to be difficult to get waiters to split the tab. It was extra work, and there was no benefit to the waiter.
These days, it's assumed the tab will be split. If it's a grouping of couples/add-ons, the waiter asks if it will all be on one check.
Because they've learned. The days where the patriarch of the family paid the whole thing and then tipped grandly are over. If you give the table a check, it's highly likely they'll barely cover the actual cost, and there will be no tip because people pretend they don't know that drinks (even tea or coffee) cost money, and there's tax on top and then a tip.
BUT. I've been going to restaurants for a long time, and it used to be difficult to get waiters to split the tab. It was extra work, and there was no benefit to the waiter.
The benefit is the same as the benefit to laying out silverware for each diner rather than dumping a pile in the center of the table and letting everyone reach for it. It's called service. Better service yields better tips. As the rest of your post pointed out, they have figured that out.
So you all gatherd to celebrate YOUR family milestone...perhaps they thought that you and your wife were hosting this dinner...thus covering the expenses. Since no one advised the waitstaff that it would be "separate checks", perhaps this tab should have been on you. Most couples-guests, make it clear on how a tab will be divided. Sounds like a huge misunderstanding.
Mae
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