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OP, I could not disagree more. Always follow the wishes of the deceased person.
And I strongly disagree that wanting no funeral is selfish.
And I agree with this. There will be no funeral for myself or my spouse. We firmly believe in making the most of our days here on earth, for as long as they last. Anything after that is just superfluous IMO. Anybody who wishes to remember us in their own way is welcomed to do so, but it won't be via a funeral.
I find it extremely disrespectful to someone if they had specifically requested no funeral and then the relatives held one anyway. To me, they are the ones being selfish thinking only of what they want. Of course the deceased isn't going to know but that is not the point.
If someone feels a need to have a gathering then I think the idea of having a memorial service at another time is a nice idea.
Sometimes family members have been hurtful to the deceased and they may feel it would be hypocritical to "pay respects," since there was little respect given in life.
I don't care whether there is a funeral for me or not. I certainly don't want one, but if my family and friends want to hold a funeral, who cares? I certainly won't know anything about it. They can do whatever they want.
When I say “funeral” I don’t necessarily mean having a casket and everything. My aunt will be cremated which is fine with me. But why request no service at all? I personally will request to be cremated, but I see no reason to ask for no service.
I seek not to be sarcastic but if the funeral services are to be paid for totally by the deceased it should be their choice alone shouldn't it? Rich or poor, isn't it much easier to say that it is selfish on the part of the living to demand a funeral service? That is, of course, unless they have offered to pay for the services themselves.
I agree. There was a distant relative I heard about through another family member that they would be ok with having a funeral. Went to a lot of expenses and no one showed. I knew another that went to the expenses to include some kind of meal at a restaurant wherein this one family ordered up all the most expensive wines and dinner entrees. I only heard it was costly from one of the relatives. It seriously gets me to rethinking whether I'd want to go through with that. If I had money left over, I'd rather donate it to a good cause.
So, OP, you asked people for reasons, they gave them to you, and you have discounted them all and "still don't understand?"
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