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My dad has a stepson who he raised. (I wasn't in my dad's life until 2010 and just last year, I figured out that he wasn't even my dad, but that's another story)
I never met this stepson bc he's been in prison since 2009 on armed robbery. He's been a crackhead thief in and out of prison since he was young. He introduced his own teen son to crack and that kid is doing 20 years. The stepson is supposed to be released according to the doc website next summer. However, bc he sends his letters here, I'm noticing that he's been sending letters a lot more frequently. I don't read them but his aunt (mother's sister) has been bitching that he's been bothering her to get him a place to live once he's released. I'm starting to think that he's maybe getting out sooner.
I tried asking my dad and he tells me not to worry about it. Of course, I'm going to worry about it. He's broken into the place where I live at least a dozen times. He's robbed people at knife and gunpoint. The letters he's written that I have read don't show any remorse. They are all full of veiled threats against witnesses and talks of million dollar lawsuits against law enforcement. The guy is 50, there's not many options for a 50 year old criminal who hasn't changed.
The reason why I want to know is bc I work for the state and I'm planning on transferring upstate anyway but if I could wait 6 months, I'd have more saved. But if he's getting out, I want to be gone bc I don't need that crap.
I just don't understand why my dad is so defensive when I ask and minimizes the problems he could cause. My dad is one of his biggest victims so it's not like he's dumb enough to think he's a good guy.
Am I wrong to try to get the information to try to protect myself?
Your dad probably knew who his stepson's actual father was and might rather not disclose anything the stepson went through as a child that helped him "become" what he is. You've got to ask the right questions to get down to the nitty-gritty. Instead of bashing the evil criminal, ask about what it was like raising him and what he may have been like BEFORE crack, etc. You'll get some interesting stories.
OP, OP, OP. I'm shaking my head in disappointment.
I'm not a gambler but I'd bet $500 that your motive here is NOT primarily to make sure you and/or your father are safe from the stepson.
What you really want is for him to choose you over the stepson. You now know he's not going to do that, even though it's obvious that you're the better "choice". Your father's made it clear he wants you gone. Internalize it, accept it and move out.
And please consider getting some therapy. There are group sessions that can help with having grown up as an unloved and uncared-for child. Emotional abuse is real and profound. It affects your entire life.
OP, OP, OP. I'm shaking my head in disappointment.
I'm not a gambler but I'd bet $500 that your motive here is NOT primarily to make sure you and/or your father are safe from the stepson.
What you really want is for him to choose you over the stepson. You now know he's not going to do that, even though it's obvious that you're the better "choice". Your father's made it clear he wants you gone. Internalize it, accept it and move out.
And please consider getting some therapy. There are group sessions that can help with having grown up as an unloved and uncared-for child. Emotional abuse is real and profound. It affects your entire life.
No, I really want to not have a knife to my throat by a 50 year old crackhead.
I'm leaving with or without my dad. If he wants to stick around, I don't feel rejected, I feel like he's a dumbass.
Your dad probably knew who his stepson's actual father was and might rather not disclose anything the stepson went through as a child that helped him "become" what he is. You've got to ask the right questions to get down to the nitty-gritty. Instead of bashing the evil criminal, ask about what it was like raising him and what he may have been like BEFORE crack, etc. You'll get some interesting stories.
My dad has been in the kid's life since he was born. He lived in the same apt building as the wife. The wife/first husband divorced while my dad was in the service. They got married when he came back.
He's been trouble since he was 5. It's my dad and her fault. They just flip out but never really punished him.
Anyway, his childhood isn't the issue. The issue is trying to get a release date for him and getting out before that date.
I wouldn't want to be around this loser after his release. 50 years old! WTH is he going to do for a job? He'll move in with mom and step dad. Suck them dry.
Op your dad is a real jerk living in a dream world. His choice and you can make one too. To get the heck out of Dodge.
If my father was this stupid, I'd also say, him or me.
My dad couldn't stand it when his wife or girlfriend had a kid that wouldn't work. Dad refused to help out adult losers.
Read the op, I've only known them since 2010, never met the stepson. He's been in prison this entire time.
If you have never met him, is he as bad as they say? some people exaggerate a lot. But regardless, I think moving is a good idea. keep in touch with your dad by phone.
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