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What about you? If you had a brother or sister you had such a distant cold relationship with that you had not talked to them in ten years, would you drive 500 miles to visit them at the hospital on their death bed?
I asked my wife why she does not call her sister up on the phone or plan a trip to visit her. My wife said, "why should I, we have not talked to each other for the last ten years when she was well, why now?"
Wow! What a terrible thing for her to say. If you guys can afford the trip, and you aren't on a fixed income she should go, and hold her sister's hand. If she doesn't go, this is something that she will regret for the rest of her life. If she has a heart. Is this where she has to get the last word in? "I'll show you by my absence how unimportant you are in my life."
We all make mistakes. Some we can stop ahead of time, like this one.
I can't think of any good reason not to. No major blowup just a cold distant relationship? Friend might be different but a sibling? With this attitude sounds like your wife might have been the reason the relationship was cold and distant.
I wondered the same thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlulu23
Wow! What a terrible thing for her to say. If you guys can afford the trip, and you aren't on a fixed income she should go, and hold her sister's hand. If she doesn't go, this is something that she will regret for the rest of her life. If she has a heart. Is this where she has to get the last word in? "I'll show you by my absence how unimportant you are in my life."
We all make mistakes. Some we can stop ahead of time, like this one.
I agree that you should visit. If you can't afford to make the trip, your wife should at least call her sister. Even if the sister is semi-conscious or unconscious, the hospital staff can put the phone to her ear and your wife can talk to her sister.
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-06-2018 at 10:27 AM..
Agree with last 4, 5 posts. Yes. Regret is a terrible burden on the soul. I did well in my own life, never had any until
last few years. It weighs heavy on the human heart. And if she continues to have no bother over this, I would take into question her own .... you find the word ... emotions? neuorsis?
Life is short. Nostalgia mixed with a sullen thought is not attractive.
If the sister is lucid and capable of a conversation, I'd go visit.
If she's reached the point where she's unable to communicate effectively or wouldn't know the sister was in the room, I think I wouldn't.
I've heard it said that even if someone is unconscious part of them can still hear you. People in operating rooms that were "out" said later that they heard every word that was said. People who are Bible believers have read comforting passages to the sick, and dying ones which is said to help make their passage easier.
Who is to say that they can't hear us in some way. Apologies can even be said to the dying one which can help both them, and the living. There is much more to us than just this body. Death frightens many of us. Avoiding someone who is dying can be avoiding our own mortality.
If your wife will have no regrets then I don't see why she should go out of her way to see her sister before she dies.
Because of our own hardness of heart we won't realize that we've made a huge mistake until much later in life. Past the point where we can help that other one. But many of us do finally learn, and that is where the regret comes into play. I speak from experience. Better late than not at all, but it's second best.
So there is some reason that the dying sister can't make a phone call if she wants to patch things up? Any hospital I've ever been in has phones.
The dying sister is the weak, and fragile one. Probably depressed, nauseated from the drugs, and who knows what else. Why on earth should she be the one to call a relatively healthy, and sound sibling? Doesn't she have enough going on without having to do that too? Gee, heap some more stressful things onto her why don't you. She doesn't even know which breath will be her last. Yeah, let's leave it all up to the dying one so we can assuage our guilt.
I don't know about regretting it forever if she doesn't visit. I have often not visited dying family I was not close to, but called or write instead. I was warned many times I would regret it forever. I haven't. Not at all. People have to do what is right for them.
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She doesn't even know which breath will be her last. Yeah, let's leave it all up to the dying one so we can assuage our guilt.
