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The problem that exists is for the living in that they will have to live with whatever decision they make. It will not be a problem for the dead sibling.
The problem that exists is for the living in that they will have to live with whatever decision they make. It will not be a problem for the dead sibling.
She is not dead yet. A broken heart while she is still alive is very real.
If wife doesn't call and/or visit her dying sister, she will regret it later on.
Wish I had one last call or visit with my departed brother and sister. Bought were sudden and unexpected so I never had the opportunity to say goodbye
Maybe. Not everyone has the same experience as you.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I dunno. I’d lean visit her. My father and I hated each other, I went to visit him on his deathbed. I can’t say I’m sorry that I did. I will say that no relationship is different than a negative one to where you should visit or not.
Agree with last 4, 5 posts. Yes. Regret is a terrible burden on the soul. I did well in my own life, never had any until
last few years. It weighs heavy on the human heart. And if she continues to have no bother over this, I would take into question her own .... you find the word ... emotions? neuorsis?
Life is short. Nostalgia mixed with a sullen thought is not attractive.
So is this about making the wife feel good about herself, or about making the dying sister happy? I think the latter consideration trumps the former. If the sister has no desire to hear from the wife, then stirring that pot make may the dying woman even unhappier, even if the wife gets to feel good about herself.
OP, who notified you that the sister was in the hospital? Other family? A staff member who was caring for the sister? Did they think the sister wanted a phone call or visit?
[quote=Ceira;51814748]If neither of them have made any attempt to talk to each other for the past 10 years, then I don't think your wife needs to jump in her car and drive 500 miles now. If your wife will have no regrets then I don't see why she should go out of her way to see her sister before she dies.[/QUOT
We don't know the nature of the relationship. Even OP doesn't REALLY know. Just because you think you would handle it differently doesn't make her choice not to contact the sister wrong...
So is this about making the wife feel good about herself, or about making the dying sister happy?
Why does it have to be either, or? It's not really about the wife feeling good about herself, not at all. It's about nurturing compassion for others. If the wife ignores the promptings she will die just a little bit more inside as her spirit gets more calloused, which in turn affects those around her.
"I lay before you life, and death, blessings, and curses. Choose life so that you, and your descendants may live." Life includes more than just the obvious. We can be alive physically, but dead inside.
The sister dying of cancer and my wife never had a major blow up but just had a cold distant relationship. Nothing in common and their personalities did not match, so they just stopped communicating.
I have a younger and older sister. The younger made it clear she didn't want to be part of the family anymore. That was back in 2008 when she told me she'd adopted 2 kids, but didn't want them to meet me.
I took that message loud and clear. I'd not visit her in the hospital, but seriously consider whizzing on her grave.
I'm in the same boat with my brother. We haven't spoken since the 90's. If he was dying I wouldn't go out of my way to visit him unless he specifically asked me to come. If he wanted me to visit him I would, if he didn't, I wouldn't.
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