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Hmm, when I am a guest in someone's home I accept what they offer in the manner they choose to offer it. They don't have to explain or justify what they do in their own home. I don't second guess it or waste energy wondering about why they do what they do. If I decide I don't like how they eat I'll make other arrangements the next time.
One of my SILs is like this whether guests are present or not. Portions of everything are too small. Even when no guests are around, members of her own family get up from the dinner table still hungry. I don't know what the rationale behind this. She's a bit younger than I am (50ish) and did not grow up in a family where food was lacking. No one in the family is overweight. We have seen her sneaking food late at night, though, and seen evidence that she eats in the car. I think her husband (one of my brothers) does the same out of necessity! Maybe the kids do, too, though I haven't seen it for myself. Anyone who stays at their house overnight more than once quickly learns to bring snacks.
Yes. I had a friend who did the rationing. She had three kids and they were bone thin all of them. She and her husband weren’t thin at all. She had rituals and everything measured to the last iota. I watched her kids one day from dawn to dusk, feeding them all three meals which she had meticulously organized. 1 banana cut into 3, 1 Oz of oj, 1/2 tiny bowl of cereal, 1 Oz of skim milk, 1/4 piece of toast. When I poured a bit too much milk on the cereal the kids were frozen in fear, sure that they shouldn't eat it and wouldn’t until I lied and told them she said it was ok for today. What was I going to do, pour it back off the cereal? The delight in their face was almost concerning. A lot of stories with that family...
Yes. I had a friend who did the rationing. She had three kids and they were bone thin all of them. She and her husband weren’t thin at all. She had rituals and everything measured to the last iota. I watched her kids one day from dawn to dusk, feeding them all three meals which she had meticulously organized. 1 banana cut into 3, 1 Oz of oj, 1/2 tiny bowl of cereal, 1 Oz of skim milk, 1/4 piece of toast. When I poured a bit too much milk on the cereal the kids were frozen in fear, sure that they shouldn't eat it and wouldn’t until I lied and told them she said it was ok for today. What was I going to do, pour it back off the cereal? The delight in their face was almost concerning. A lot of stories with that family...
Hmm, when I am a guest in someone's home I accept what they offer in the manner they choose to offer it. They don't have to explain or justify what they do in their own home. I don't second guess it or waste energy wondering about why they do what they do. If I decide I don't like how they eat I'll make other arrangements the next time.
My MIL didn't think money should be wasted on food. But she didn't ration it.
She volunteered at the food bank so was able to bring home each week a banana box full of outdated food that she was always pressing on us when we visited. Month-old pies and cakes, overripe fruit, that sort of thing. No idea if they were moldy or not because after I innocently accepted a slice of one once and tasted it, I never did again.
We took her to Ruth's Chris once for a special treat. I thought she was going to burst a blood vessel when she saw the prices.
Hmmm. My parents who certainly lived through hard times and WWII offered up bountiful meals to guests, even though they tended to cook the cheaper cuts of meat. When I, a Boomer, cook for guests, there is plenty of food. I can’t imagine rationing it.
Personally, I think portioning food for guests is a form of hoarding, or controlling. It is a symptom of how the rationer thinks, more than anything. I’d want to know if such a person rations affection, positive comments, or hugs. Perhaps there is fear about the future. Or perhaps being generous causes anxiety.
I am going to be frank. I would not enjoy being in this type of person’s home, and would avoid it whenever possible.
Totally this. These people seem strange, especially the berating part. No thanks.
I thought about it several times but didn’t. They are all grown now and have all turned out healthy and happy. No idea if the kids are rationing their food now though...
My parents and all my relatives were of the "no one goes away hungry" philosophy. In contrast my in laws were of the ration variety. It wasn't a question of money or what generation they were raised, but control. My parents were depression era/WW2 vet so they actually knew hard times, but were not food hoarders. Mom cooked plenty of food. Nothing was wasted -- what wasn't eaten today would be later in the week. My in laws are boomers and I know from eating at their parents homes that their parents (spouse's grandparents) were also not hoarders/rationers. But for some reason my FIL likes to control what people eat. When going out he'll pick the restraint and will order for others if they don't watch out. He constantly will order for his wife and make comments about other's choices.
Regarding the "pajama time" I wonder if it has anything to where they were raised? I grew up in small town rural America where you got up early, ate a good breakfast and did chores before it got too hot outside. You needed those calories because you were going to work them off.
My parents and all my relatives were of the "no one goes away hungry" philosophy. In contrast my in laws were of the ration variety. It wasn't a question of money or what generation they were raised, but control. My parents were depression era/WW2 vet so they actually knew hard times, but were not food hoarders. Mom cooked plenty of food. Nothing was wasted -- what wasn't eaten today would be later in the week. My in laws are boomers and I know from eating at their parents homes that their parents (spouse's grandparents) were also not hoarders/rationers. But for some reason my FIL likes to control what people eat. When going out he'll pick the restraint and will order for others if they don't watch out. He constantly will order for his wife and make comments about other's choices.
Regarding the "pajama time" I wonder if it has anything to where they were raised? I grew up in small town rural America where you got up early, ate a good breakfast and did chores before it got too hot outside. You needed those calories because you were going to work them off.
That sounds awful. Where do you suppose the control comes from? What else does he control? The attitude about pajama time was because they "worked hard all week." They liked to believe they were the only people in the world who had jobs (or did much of anything else a normal functioning adult in society does).
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