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Old 05-17-2019, 01:35 PM
 
9,519 posts, read 13,436,132 times
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I'm sure this has been posted before but an acquaintance of mine got me thinking


She is 37. Dropped out of college, has no degree (not even associates) and works @ a food store. Now there is nothing wrong with this, she obviously earns enough to make a living, but for me, I don't understand why someone like this would not take measures to get themselves into a better job situation.


I have no idea if she is happy doing that job or not, I just know for myself, I am ambitious and I would do something like that as a temporary situation while either trying to go back to school or get a new job, but this woman has been in the same scenario since 20 years old.


This person doesn't seem to do want to do either. I get college isn't cheap, but with online colleges being the new thing now & the fact that she IS working, I don't see online college being so out of reach for her. They are very accommodating to working people and if she looked into financial assistance, maybe she would qualify .. or you take out a loan like a responsible adult.


Does anyone know anyone like this? If she is happy, it's not anyone's place to judge, but I don't really understand this mindset. Wouldn't you want to strive for the very best in life?
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Old 05-17-2019, 01:46 PM
 
Location: on the wind
7,086 posts, read 2,905,107 times
Reputation: 23969
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
I'm sure this has been posted before but an acquaintance of mine got me thinking


She is 37. Dropped out of college, has no degree (not even associates) and works @ a food store. Now there is nothing wrong with this, she obviously earns enough to make a living, but for me, I don't understand why someone like this would not take measures to get themselves into a better job situation.


I have no idea if she is happy doing that job or not, I just know for myself, I am ambitious and I would do something like that as a temporary situation while either trying to go back to school or get a new job, but this woman has been in the same scenario since 20 years old.


This person doesn't seem to do want to do either. I get college isn't cheap, but with online colleges being the new thing now & the fact that she IS working, I don't see online college being so out of reach for her. They are very accommodating to working people and if she looked into financial assistance, maybe she would qualify .. or you take out a loan like a responsible adult.


Does anyone know anyone like this? If she is happy, it's not anyone's place to judge, but I don't really understand this mindset. Wouldn't you want to strive for the very best in life?
The bolded are the most important phrases here. YOU don't KNOW her, what makes her tick, what motivates her, nothing. She may have decided that all she wants is a quiet, peaceful, steady-state life without stress. Her accomplishments may well be internal, not external. What is "better"? She's not an axe murderer after work hours is she? You said it yourself...your yardstick isn't the same.

Last edited by Parnassia; 05-17-2019 at 02:29 PM..
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Old 05-17-2019, 01:56 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,619 posts, read 4,868,720 times
Reputation: 12500
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
I'm sure this has been posted before but an acquaintance of mine got me thinking


She is 37. Dropped out of college, has no degree (not even associates) and works @ a food store. Now there is nothing wrong with this, she obviously earns enough to make a living, but for me, I don't understand why someone like this would not take measures to get themselves into a better job situation.


I have no idea if she is happy doing that job or not, I just know for myself, I am ambitious and I would do something like that as a temporary situation while either trying to go back to school or get a new job, but this woman has been in the same scenario since 20 years old.


This person doesn't seem to do want to do either. I get college isn't cheap, but with online colleges being the new thing now & the fact that she IS working, I don't see online college being so out of reach for her. They are very accommodating to working people and if she looked into financial assistance, maybe she would qualify .. or you take out a loan like a responsible adult.


Does anyone know anyone like this? If she is happy, it's not anyone's place to judge, but I don't really understand this mindset. Wouldn't you want to strive for the very best in life?
You've answered your own question.

Different strokes for different folks. Never make the mistake of believing people should think the way you do. You're content in your life and she's probably content in hers. For all we know, that is probably all she knows. Or she's not the type of person that needs a lot to feel content and satisfied. It's best not to get caught up in this type of thinking because it crosses into the territory of arrogance.
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Old 05-17-2019, 02:30 PM
 
17,000 posts, read 20,665,159 times
Reputation: 33987
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
I'm sure this has been posted before but an acquaintance of mine got me thinking


She is 37. Dropped out of college, has no degree (not even associates) and works @ a food store. Now there is nothing wrong with this, she obviously earns enough to make a living, but for me, I don't understand why someone like this would not take measures to get themselves into a better job situation.


I have no idea if she is happy doing that job or not, I just know for myself, I am ambitious and I would do something like that as a temporary situation while either trying to go back to school or get a new job, but this woman has been in the same scenario since 20 years old.


This person doesn't seem to do want to do either. I get college isn't cheap, but with online colleges being the new thing now & the fact that she IS working, I don't see online college being so out of reach for her. They are very accommodating to working people and if she looked into financial assistance, maybe she would qualify .. or you take out a loan like a responsible adult.


Does anyone know anyone like this? If she is happy, it's not anyone's place to judge, but I don't really understand this mindset. Wouldn't you want to strive for the very best in life?
Odd how you know so much about her in regards to dropping out of college, how long she has worked at a food store, but you don't know if she is happy or not?

Ever think she maybe inherited some money, or is just content and lives what she considers a comfortable life?

It would be different if she was constantly hitting you up for money, but there is no mention of that.

Mind your own business and worry about yourself or people you are close with who might have real issues.

And a little reality check, at 37 by the time she finished college she would be in her early 40s, she would be competing with much younger people for jobs in her chosen profession. So your suggestion to go into debt with a student loan(which have to be paid back) doesn't sound too bright at this stage in the game. You're not talking about a 24 year old, you're talking about someone who is approaching middle age.
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Old 05-17-2019, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Washington
45 posts, read 13,716 times
Reputation: 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
I'm sure this has been posted before but an acquaintance of mine got me thinking


She is 37. Dropped out of college, has no degree (not even associates) and works @ a food store. Now there is nothing wrong with this, she obviously earns enough to make a living, but for me, I don't understand why someone like this would not take measures to get themselves into a better job situation.


I have no idea if she is happy doing that job or not, I just know for myself, I am ambitious and I would do something like that as a temporary situation while either trying to go back to school or get a new job, but this woman has been in the same scenario since 20 years old.


This person doesn't seem to do want to do either. I get college isn't cheap, but with online colleges being the new thing now & the fact that she IS working, I don't see online college being so out of reach for her. They are very accommodating to working people and if she looked into financial assistance, maybe she would qualify .. or you take out a loan like a responsible adult.


Does anyone know anyone like this? If she is happy, it's not anyone's place to judge, but I don't really understand this mindset. Wouldn't you want to strive for the very best in life?
She may have invisible unknown disabilities. Health issues. I wouldn't look down upon her honest days work. If you fancy her, go for it. Assume she can do other things such as grow her own food, raise animals, canning, etc.. to make up for it. You either make more money or cut expenses
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Old 05-17-2019, 02:45 PM
 
4,691 posts, read 1,418,054 times
Reputation: 6510
OP, it's not really your place to judge this person.

It's pretty easy to get in a rut and before you know it, many years have passed by. And at this point, what she's currently doing may be her best option.
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Old 05-17-2019, 02:53 PM
 
9,519 posts, read 13,436,132 times
Reputation: 5692
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
Odd how you know so much about her in regards to dropping out of college, how long she has worked at a food store, but you don't know if she is happy or not?

Ever think she maybe inherited some money, or is just content and lives what she considers a comfortable life?

It would be different if she was constantly hitting you up for money, but there is no mention of that.

Mind your own business and worry about yourself or people you are close with who might have real issues.

And a little reality check, at 37 by the time she finished college she would be in her early 40s, she would be competing with much younger people for jobs in her chosen profession. So your suggestion to go into debt with a student loan(which have to be paid back) doesn't sound too bright at this stage in the game. You're not talking about a 24 year old, you're talking about someone who is approaching middle age.
Not that odd. It's on facebook. It's someone I went to school with who I run into sometimes in the neighborhood. We small talk and I've asked her what she's up to.


I'm not going to say to her "oh you work @ a food store, are you happy there?" but I know what she does b/c she has said so.


It's not my business. I kind of feel bad for her b/c she was very smart and well-liked in high school and I think she has potential make something more of herself.


Like I said, if she's happy, then cool.


It's not so much about her, but the mindset in general … what makes certain people ambitious and others not?

Last edited by Jdawg8181; 05-17-2019 at 03:05 PM..
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:02 PM
 
9,519 posts, read 13,436,132 times
Reputation: 5692
Quote:
Originally Posted by SemiRetiredAt60 View Post
She may have invisible unknown disabilities. Health issues. I wouldn't look down upon her honest days work. If you fancy her, go for it. Assume she can do other things such as grow her own food, raise animals, canning, etc.. to make up for it. You either make more money or cut expenses
It's not someone I fancy. It's a girl I went to school with. I'm married.


Disabilities are possible. I don't know of any, but entirely possible. I went to kindergarten through college with her. She dropped out sophomore year of college. She was my friend's roommate in college.


She always did well in high school.


Like I said, not my business, just trying to understand people like this.
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:11 PM
 
4,691 posts, read 1,418,054 times
Reputation: 6510
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jdawg8181 View Post
It's not so much about her, but the mindset in general what makes certain people ambitious and others not?
OP, are you content? If so, why? Perhaps a different acquaintance of yours is more successful than you, and he/she wonders why you don't want to "better" yourself.
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
560 posts, read 139,044 times
Reputation: 1671
I find it funny the people that seem to look down on certain jobs and the people that hold them but never stop to think about what the world would be like if everyone thought they were too good to cook, clean or otherwise serve other people. There are a thousand reason why people do the jobs they choose to do and it's not about lacking ambition. I was talking to someone else not too long ago and they wondered why I had done some factory work that they would never choose to do. The simple answer was that at that time in my life I needed a job that wouldn't go to h3ll in a handbasket if I was gone a day or two because of my kids. Did I love the work I did? No, but I worked with some really great people and it gave me the flexibility I needed at that time. Now my kids are grown and I have a job that has a much greater emphasis on me specifically showing up every day to do my specific job because I can provide that now to an employer.

As far as your friend goes she might be going through something that this job just fits the bill for now or she might genuinely enjoy working with the public. I know some people that just love talking to people all day every day and a cashier job is their little slice of heaven. A better job to you might just be someone else's idea of more stress. If she's making enough money to support herself that's all that really matters. The extra's she can't afford from not having a higher paying job may not matter at all to her. Not everyone judges their success on their salary.

To be quite honest your post smacks of judgement saying that a responsible person would take out a loan to improve her situation. Her situation isn't yours to judge unless she's hitting you up for money. Online colleges aren't any cheaper than a brick and mortar and taking on a bunch of loans at age 37 isn't necessarily a responsible thing to do for everyone. Maybe she's done the math to decide if a larger salary with more debt is really any better than what she has now and has made a responsible decision not to do so.

Your definition of the best in life is not everyone else's.
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