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Exactly! I completely understand where you're coming from. Although, the use of the word friends is quite loose, as they're mostly my roommates friends, and then those people invite their friends over (without asking, of course) and it turns into this big 'issue'. I'm actually in the process of cleaning house right now (I've evicted one one of the roomates recently, and he will be out Jan 1st), and after the new year, my landlord has given us the ability to repaint the house and fix some thing that aren't very pretty, so it'll be a nice change for me and my good roommates. That's what got me thinking about my rant... I was building a project list to give to my landlord (he pays for supplies, we do the labor) and I just started thinking about all the weirdos I've had living with me. We're making a fresh start, though, and I'm pretty excited and happy about it
Yep. Without being a Bible beater here (Because I am most assuredly not), your dilemma reminds me of Paul's letter to the Corinthians. In it, he wrote: "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, and I thought as a child. But then I became a man and put away childish things."
Lots of truth in that. I, too, had my run of loser friends. It was just amazing now how much I put up with. Finally, I just cut myself off from 90% of them, leaving me with two that I thought were people I could actually trust as friends. Then I set out to find a better group of friends, people who actually fit the definition.
Guess what? It took a while, but I did indeed accumulate a much more satisfying group of friends--people to whom my friendship wasn't a one-way street. People who actually called me as much as I called them. And I became a much happier person as a result.
Do you interview potential roommates? Maybe you have to ask different question!
Are there clear rules for your roommates?
I was a manager/HR rep so I treat roommate interviews much like job interviews and I'm definitely not afraid to ask weird questions. I'm the first to put a stamp out on drug use and excessive drinking, but I've noticed many people are very very good at lying. I do credit checks, backround checks, employment checks etc etc, but it seems like some bad apples have great track records. I also have a 9 page rental agreement that covers all the stipulations of the lease (only my name is on the lease) plus certain things that I expect (doing your own dishes, official 'quiet time' between 10pm and 7am and not having huge parties and conveniently forgetting to tell the other roommates. I have called the cops on my own house before)
Yep. Without being a Bible beater here (Because I am most assuredly not), your dilemma reminds me of Paul's letter to the Corinthians. In it, he wrote: "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, and I thought as a child. But then I became a man and put away childish things."
Lots of truth in that. I, too, had my run of loser friends. It was just amazing now how much I put up with. Finally, I just cut myself off from 90% of them, leaving me with two that I thought were people I could actually trust as friends. Then I set out to find a better group of friends, people who actually fit the definition.
Guess what? It took a while, but I did indeed accumulate a much more satisfying group of friends--people to whom my friendship wasn't a one-way street. People who actually called me as much as I called them. And I became a much happier person as a result.
Don't worry about the bible thumping thing, I may be an Atheist but I can appreciate some of the life lessons that the bible teaches I'm in the process of cutting off most of my friends (except a select few) but it's hard to get them to break old habits. Even though I've kicked many of them out of my house on more than one occasion, they keep coming back.. I just don't get it.
Don't worry about the bible thumping thing, I may be an Atheist but I can appreciate some of the life lessons that the bible teaches I'm in the process of cutting off most of my friends (except a select few) but it's hard to get them to break old habits. Even though I've kicked many of them out of my house on more than one occasion, they keep coming back.. I just don't get it.
That's easy. They assume that because you're changed your mind about them once, you'll change it about them again. Just be firm and accept no baloney out of them.
Well, JetJockey, it sounds great that there are changes ahead.
With the losers out of the way you can be doing things that will help your career as a student - having study groups over, entertaining people in your chosen field etc. All good moves.
Well, JetJockey, it sounds great that there are changes ahead.
With the losers out of the way you can be doing things that will help your career as a student - having study groups over, entertaining people in your chosen field etc. All good moves.
That's one of the reasons I'm so gung-ho about this house renovation. I'm embarrassed to invite my friends or family over because of how mismatched everything is, how ratty it looks etc. etc. I'm really excited about changing everything about my house. We're having a new years party (Great Gatsby/20's themed) and then after that, we start renovating
If your living with folks who like weed often over the age of 25, your not in with a productive crowd. Maybe you should make a concerted effort to finish up school asap. Get some loans, and go full time. Sooner you finish the sooner you can make good money.
Try this, befriend a police officer, invite him/her over to your home one evening, and again, and again. After the second, or third time, I doubt your friends will want to come over, and you will not have had to ask them not to.
I think you need to have a boxing battle royal with these people who make you miserable.
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Police?
