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I think that is very healthy and you should do it. Because the longer you wait the harder it gets to reach those people.
One of my friends went through what you're feeling about 5 years ago in his early-50's! The guys he hoped to reach were from high school, and it took him years to find out where any of them were. I helped him locate one and he finally reached the others in due time.
I, too, have had a strong curiosity to catch up with a couple from my own childhood, but I don't think they want to be reached.
There were 5 of us that were attached at the hip from say 2nd grade through high school. Today I am the only one not serving time. Thank YOU JESUS. I have no desire to hook up with any of the old crew. We were bad apples.
Growing up as a military brat and changing schools almost every year, I began to realize people just drift in and out of your life. And I think one key that changes is when you lose the common thing that once brought you together as friends, whether a job, or school, or military unit or whatever. And when that goes the friendship often goes. Sometimes you stay in touch with the yearly christmas card or email, sometimes not.
And then there are people that are really good friends that transcend all those life changes.
I don't see it as a bad thing people drifting in and out of your life. It's a part of life's journey.
Two of the most abused words in the English language: Hero and friend, but for this post I'll only talk about friends most often mistaken for only acquaintances. for instance you have a list of 'friends' in your profile, people who, in general, you hardly know at all.
You bring up a VERY good point. To add to this wisdom, when you label a person a friend I believe in your own mind you then create expectations for that person, which for the most part, they never meet.
As for myself; with all due respect to the God's, I'm somewhat disappointed that I exist in the 21st century; in America, due to the fact that we have a civilization that is not conducive to building strong family units and building quality friendships; as this is real wealth. Most people are lost after Collage as their thinking becomes fragmented combined with the tunnel vision to reach material gain.......
Anyhow, the system is set up as such where one mans gain comes from another mans loss; this is the direct cause of all the problems we live in. You can thank the esoteric Freemasons for this as they are part of the real builders of society.
due to the fact that we have a civilization that is not conducive to .......................... building quality friendships; as this is real wealth.
~Morph01~
As for me, I gotta disagree with ya on this point Morph. I have a great group of friends who get together once a month. Anywhere from 6 to 12 show up; we've all known each other since Jr High (which for us was approx 40 years ago). We were all in the same neighborhood gang (as in group of friends, not a gang of thugs), and were all involved in the same church youth group. We have a blast talking about the past, the present and the future.
I have reconnected with old friends through MySpace and Facebook, some of which I haven't talked to in over fifteen years. Sometimes we pick up right were we left off and other times it seems like why bother.
Friendships come and go. Why some can last the test of time and others cannot is a mystery to me.
Personally, I do not think that people change that much over time at the core of their being, but a person's priorities and life change; such as marriage, children, career, etc. All of which affects the way that person now goes about life on a daily basis.
I don't know if its a sign of me getting older or what, but I've had this desire to try to get in touch with old buddies. I talked to buddy that I served in the Army with back in 2000-01, but our plans to get together fell apart. For whatever reason, he never called or emailed back. No big loss, I've got a wife,kids, house, and nursing school. So, too much on my plate to get in a twist over an old buddy standing me up. However, I got to thinking...is it common for people to make good friendships for a period of life, then move on and the friendship just disappears? Do we really change that much over the years, or friendship just a temporary thing?
I believe our priorities change, we grow older of course, and hopefully a bit more aware and compassionate and passionate about the importance of life. I do think we should make time for friends...it is very important to keep in touch, even if common grounds are no longer an issue. I listen to my son's friends, and how disappointed they become when they don't hear from someone in their network, or have lost contact. Some friendships are temporary, as we grow, and sometimes that growth takes us in different directions...but, making a phone call now and then, could also be a very pleasant experience, and part of our growth. Learning to listen more?
There are levels of friendship. Acquaintance being the lowest, best friend being the highest. Most people have some people in all the levels. The numbers though, are fewer, the higher the level. That's why most people only have one or two best friends - keeping a friendship at that level requires giving a lot of yourself, and your time. The result is fantastic, but there isn't time or emotion to have many friendships at that level. As you go down the "friendship level" you'll start to get to people who you hang out with but aren't that close to on a personal level. And yeah, these people move, etc, and when that happens, they can tend to drop away. If your best friend moves, you generally make the effort to keep up with them and keep them close. But when its just a guy you hang out with once a month, you may try at first but chances are, in time, you'll start to lose contact.
EDIT - Just to add - there are some friendships I truly think are for life. I think I'll be close to my best bud for life, and there is a *short* list of people I'd be surprised if I ever lose contact with. Beyond that its hard to say though - "for life" is a long time!
Staying in touch with old friends takes work on both peoples parts...I have a friend that has been my best buddy now for 30 years and another who has been in my life for 29 years. With both of these friends, we call each other or email regularly and plan shopping or lunches together. There is no friend like an old friend.
Just recently, I also joined Facebook and have been able to resurrect all my old friends I left behind when I moved out of Northern Maine. This has been a real heartwarming experience for me as these friends knew me through my growing up years so to speak, thru the years of mental abuse from my first husband and were there to support me. I can only hope that I do get a chance to drive up there to see all of them again. In the meantime, I am staying in touch with them now through the email system and Facebook and until I can break away for some time up North, this will keep the friendships going. You have to work at it.
Contact your friend, maybe something personal happened....don't give upo on him so quick..that's what friends do, they work at being a good friend.
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Keeping Contact with Old Friends
