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Lighten up! They are probably talking just to talk. Small talk is a part of daily life. It sounds like you don't enjoy it, which means that is something you might need to work on.
Spoken like a true extrovert. "If you don't like small talk, something is wrong with you."
Actually, no. There's nothing wrong. An introvert can turn around and say, "You chatter too much. You need to work on that."
It's just a different way of operating, and neither one is right or wrong.
Spoken like a true extrovert. "If you don't like small talk, something is wrong with you."
Actually, no. There's nothing wrong. An introvert can turn around and say, "You chatter too much. You need to work on that."
It's just a different way of operating, and neither one is right or wrong.
Actually I am extremely introverted. I am INTJ on myers-briggs. I NEVER said there was something wrong with the OP, I naturally think the EXACT same way. One day I woke up and realized I hadn't talked to my brother in over six months because I never had anything to say. I still struggle with small talk, but it is worth it, even if it does not come naturally.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not engaging in small talk, but not doing so has a price. When you realize you don't have anyone to eat lunch with at work because no one knows you (this happened to me), or that you didn't know your sister-in-law has been laid off for 3 months (again, happened to me), you realize there is value in trying to get to know other people. Even if it isn't as fun as being alone.
Introvert/Extrovert is not an immutable trait. You can 'train' yourself to enjoy company. Three years ago I scored 95% introvert on a myers-briggs test and now, while still very introverted, I see the value in small talk.
They probably don't really care how you are doing at work or how your life is going, but feel that they should ask those questions to be polite since you're family and all.
Lighten up! They are probably talking just to talk. Small talk is a part of daily life. It sounds like you don't enjoy it, which means that is something you might need to work on.
Actually I am extremely introverted. I am INTJ on myers-briggs. I NEVER said there was something wrong with the OP, I naturally think the EXACT same way. One day I woke up and realized I hadn't talked to my brother in over six months because I never had anything to say. I still struggle with small talk, but it is worth it, even if it does not come naturally.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not engaging in small talk, but not doing so has a price. When you realize you don't have anyone to eat lunch with at work because no one knows you (this happened to me), or that you didn't know your sister-in-law has been laid off for 3 months (again, happened to me), you realize there is value in trying to get to know other people. Even if it isn't as fun as being alone.
Introvert/Extrovert is not an immutable trait. You can 'train' yourself to enjoy company. Three years ago I scored 95% introvert on a myers-briggs test and now, while still very introverted, I see the value in small talk.
I was finally convinced to join Facebook. I looked up some people I went to high school with. Okay, well, my younger sister didn't go at the same time I did, but we connected there--I invited her to accept a "friend request" saying "I think you might know me." [dry humor]. She accepted and responded, "well, at least we know you're still alive!" That's how little contact I have with people.
Maybe look at this from the old "tolerance vs. acceptance" angle - you can learn to tolerate their questions, but you certainly don't have to accept their (hidden) messages.
Maybe look at this from the old "tolerance vs. acceptance" angle - you can learn to tolerate their questions, but you certainly don't have to accept their (hidden) messages.
Being open minded means being accepting of new viewpoints.
I don't see how desiring autonomy and independence conflicts with that.
How about persons such as your mom, dad, brother, or step-dad (who isn't even a blood relative )?
They always ask me about work, which is frankly none of their business. Always about my hobbies, again none of their business.
Is it best to accommodate them (which in my opinion is nonsense, only weak people seek to be accommodated), or should there be explicit boundaries in life?
If you don't want them to talk about those things, what DO you want to talk to them about??? Or do you not want any contact with them at all?
I talk to my parents about my life, and I even appreciate their advice, as long as they are no pushy about it and respect my opinions and decisions as well.
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