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I'm about to finish my freshman year at NC State, and my experience here has been pretty bad. I have no friends here and have been sitting in my room every night by myself for the last couple months, and can't help but envy my friends who are at different schools. I've been pretty depressed at State for awhile now and am considering transferring to ECU as I have been there multiple times and had a great time, and my best friends from high school will be attending there as well. I'm hesitant to do this because NCSU has a much better reputation overall and especially in engineering, and I have family that has attended NC State. Everyone I've discussed this with has told me to stay at NC State because they look down on ECU but I've been depressed for a very long time here and am tired of feeling this way. I don't know what to do because NC State is a much better school for my field and everyone is telling me to stay, but can't help but want out. I don't want to be stuck jobless and wonder if my problem is something that is actually worth leaving for. What do you guys think I should do?
You need to stay where you are based on your career choice and education. Changing schools to hang out with your friends is foolish. Get involved with the clubs & activities on campus and you'll have lots of new friends!
No offense meant to ECU, but NC State is a more respected institution. I made some amazing friends in college. Sure making friends can seem intimidating, but it is important to put yourself out there and meet people. There are 25,000(!) other undergrads there. I guarantee there are tons of people there that you will get along with great and can have lots of fun.
I can guarantee it isn't NC State that is cause of your problem.
I think it's fine to transfer to ECU if you think you will be happier there. ECU turns out plenty of grads who go on to be gainfully employed. They have some good programs. You may find that you end up going to grad school and future employers will see your grad school degree.
As much as I'm sure that it feels like everyone around you is living up college life to the fullest and you are left out/behind.....I'd be willing to bet the majority of your classmates are in a situation similar to yours and just don't show it. While the TV and movies make it seem like you're supposed to find your best group of friends in the first few weeks of college and then spend 4 years making life-defining memories with that same group of people; that's not really how it works for most folks.
Personally; the closest group of friends that I made in college I mostly met in my junior and senior year. Friendships and relationships are dynamic. I had highschool girlfriend I thought I'd be with through college; a couple college girlfriends I thought I'd be with for life; and many friends/acquaintances that came and went along the way...with a few who've stuck around and I still see regularly 5 years after graduating.
I actually went the other way; I spent my freshman year at ECU and really hated it. I "trade up" for UNC and that was definitely the best decision I've ever made. To be sure though; the process of transferring SUCKS. I only did it because I was moving to a much higher quality school. Unless you were looking to go into nursing; chances are you are in a much better department at NCSU than you would be at ECU.....they don't call it "Easy U" for nothing.
I'd definitely stay at State because it's a much better school. In fact, I'm sure many of your friends at ECU wish they were in your shoes attending State! A degree from State will look extremely well, and I agree that you should stay at the school where you are based on your career choice and education.
I've made most of my friends in college through meeting my neighbors. If you live in a dorm and see your neighbors hanging out in a lounge or common area, join them! I'm sure there are tons of students around you who are far from home and need some friends. It also helps to get out of your dorm, at least I think so. Attending on campus events, movies, concerts, cookouts, games, etc. This tends to get my mind off things, therefore feeling less depressed. Don't know if you're in a relationship but Tinder is actually a solid app for college students, and tons of people use it to find new friends (and not hookups). People branch off in college, too. It's not like you'll meet a group of friends your first year and will stick with them to the end and won't interact with other students. There are so many kids (especially at State) that you can meet new people all the time. Your friends at ECU might do the same! I don't know, it also seems like most high school friends tend to drift apart upon entering college. In other words, I'd never transfer to another college for high school friends. Granted, all of my closest friends to this day are from high school, but you get my point. It seems to be the opposite for most people, and you can always visit your high school friends on breaks or if you go home some weekends. Also, like TarHeelNick said, remember you're definitely not alone.
Transferring is a painful process, too. Let's be honest.
One more thing, do you have a car? I can't imagine a better area in NC to attend college than the Triangle. Don't know if you're from the area, but do some exploring on weekends if you're bored! Umstead Park is always cool, and areas like downtown Raleigh. Downtown is actually getting better for young people, especially areas like south Glenwood. Chapel Hill isn't far if you have some friends over there, too. I've never enjoyed being stuck on campus on weekends, for some reason. Even if you don't have a car, go walk down Hillsborough Street or even over to Cameron Village.
Yes, I do have a car and it's not like I'm not trying at all to have fun. I know several people here from my highschool days and they are in the same situation as me, they do not like NCSU and what it has to offer. I used to rush a fraternity here but ended up dropping as I couldn't afford the dues. Also, the field of engineering I am interested in is biomedical or construction, as I'm still deciding between what I want to do. Biomedical because I've always wanted to go to grad school for Occupational therapy or medical school and ECU has a great medical program. Construction because that is the field my family works in and the money is there. This is not an easy decision for me to make, but something in me telling me to leave but everyone around me is telling me to stay
Yes, I do have a car and it's not like I'm not trying at all to have fun. I know several people here from my highschool days and they are in the same situation as me, they do not like NCSU and what it has to offer. I used to rush a fraternity here but ended up dropping as I couldn't afford the dues. Also, the field of engineering I am interested in is biomedical or construction, as I'm still deciding between what I want to do. Biomedical because I've always wanted to go to grad school for Occupational therapy or medical school and ECU has a great medical program. Construction because that is the field my family works in and the money is there. This is not an easy decision for me to make, but something in me telling me to leave but everyone around me is telling me to stay
Uh, I'm confused. You have several friends from high school days that are in the same situation??? Why don't you hang out with them instead of all you whinging about how horrible it is?
NC State is one of the most laid back, unpretentious, universities that I can think of. Its population and diversity of students that range from Agriculture to Engineering to Design means that there is just about any kind of young adult you might want to find. But, if you are not happy, by all means leave it. I am sure that there is someone waiting in the wings that would be more than happy to take your place.
They are more of acquaintances from highschool that go home most weekends. Whining isn't what I was aiming at, and I acknowledge that it is a great school or else I wouldn't have attended it in the first place. Just not a school where I've had a positive experience, but you guys are right. I've had a rough year so I lost sight of what is actually important and that I am here for my degree, not to mess around
Last edited by buudism; 04-10-2016 at 10:33 PM..
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