Blame It On The Boss 'O Nova -- Episode One (Arlington: new home, job transfer)

[normie]

Since there isn’t a tv show about government workers in Nova, I’ve decided we should create our own running sitcom. Every week I’ll provide a basic plot framework, and you guys can add additional plots, extra characters, bits of script, jokes, whatever you think would be funny.

Please also help me develop the basic characters, which I will update each week with each new episode. You guys need to decide details such as where they live, what hobbies they have, dopey things they like to say, what race they are—whatever you think would be interesting. Remember, this is a sitcom so keep it fun. I’ll flesh out Alex a little as an example.

Two rules:
1) Try to keep it topical. Don’t just say Alex and Lorton get stuck in traffic—say Alex and Lorton get stuck in traffic on Glebe Road.
2) Feel free to add jokes or plots about local celebrities (Trump, the Salahis, etc.) but only use people who have had their names in the news. No using names of people on this forum, that could be considered a personal attack.

THE CHARACTERS:

This show revolves around contract employees from a variety of companies who all are assigned to work at DITSY (Department of Information on Traffic Studies and Youth) a mythical government office. So far, the characters include:

ALEXANDRIA (ALEX) is a systems engineer. Her company recently moved their headquarters from San Diego, so she has lots of moments of culture shock as she learns about things like snow and having to drive a few hours to get to the beach. Before this job transfer she had never been east of Denver. Several episodes will be devoted to her search for friends and exploration of her new home in Nova. Alex is addicted to chocolate and frequently makes jokes about Nutella.

ARLINGTON is a Security Officer. He owns an alpaca farm and has to leave the office early to take his animals to shows. I need you guys to fill in other details about him.

TYSON is the BSM (big stupid manager). He has the corner office, and there are lots of jokes about holding meetings in Tyson’s Corner.

BRAMBLETON is this sitcom’s token genius. Brambleton often makes witty or wise remarks, and always seems to know where to find unusual stats. (A lot of times she finds info on city-data!). Brambleton’s job at Ditsy is:

VIENNA also recently moved to Nova from _____________. A running joke in each episode will be Vienna’s search for friends. She’ll try meeting people in all sorts of places. Vienna’s job at Ditsy is:

LORTON is the office “Gilligan”. He’s madly in love with Vienna but can never tell her. Another running joke is that he follows Vienna to each place she goes to meet new friends but claims he “accidentally” runs into her. Lorton’s job at Ditsy is:


ANN and DALE are a married couple with kids. They talk way too much about school pyramids. Their jobs at Ditsy are:

CULPEPER is somebody’s dog. You guys tell me who owns culpeper and maybe some other things about him.

[normie]

EPISODE ONE: The Battle of the Acronyms

In this episode, several new employees are assigned to work at DITSY. In their old company, they used many acronyms that were used by that company only. At DITSY, those acronyms mean something else entirely. A major misunderstanding happens when…. (you guys finish this plot)!

As a side plot, during lunch the DITSY employees try to top each other with weird metro stories. Nobody believes Arlington’s story about the opera singer on the orange line until Brambleton finds a link on you-tube. Hilarity ensues when Tyson has to create an office policy against showing you-tube videos.

As the stories get weirder and weirder, Alex decides to ride the metro looking for her own weird encounter. Nothing happens. She even wears a costume one day, but still nothing happens… until… (you guys tell me how this story ends).

Another side plot: Vienna tries to meet new friends by going to the Clarendon Ballroom. Lorton, of course, finds out and also goes there. A funny thing that happens there is: (you guys tell me how this story ends).


OK, now that we have the basic storyline, you guys need to flesh it out… Let’s have some fun with this.

[Alyzza]

Alexandria leaves for work at 4:30am so that she can get there in less than an hour. She would rather drive to work than take the Metro, so that just in case she needs to leave early, she can. Like today, she has to leave at 2pm for a dentist appointment. She is the new SAP SME and really knows her stuff! She's still talking about the Redskins game last Monday night with the Eagles.

Vienna is the new administrative assistant at DITSY and she works for Tyson, the main HMFIC. Lately she's been barraged with email about how cold it is on the second floor. People are running their own heaters under their desks and that caused a minor power outage in the break room. Rosslyn was making microwave popcorn when it happened. Vienna doesn't know where to start because she also got email from Dunn Loring, the new guy, about how badly microwaved popcorn stinks up the copier room.

Ann and Dale, both programmers, went to Wegmans last Saturday and already bought their Thanksgiving turkey. Their inlaws are coming up from Florida and will stay with them for a week.

[JD984]

TYSON is not having a great day, because he just found out that STERLING, the soft-spoken and dependable office cleaner, has been arrested and is now scheduled for a deportation hearing. He has to find a replacement quickly, because he knows that VIENNA will start complaining that this type of thing never happened in New Jersey, where people are much, much friendlier.

[South Jersey Styx]

Originally Posted by normie

EPISODE ONE: The Battle of the Acronyms

Another side plot: Vienna tries to meet new friends by going to the Clarendon Ballroom. Lorton, of course, finds out and also goes there. A funny thing that happens there is: (you guys tell me how this story ends).

Vienna goes to The Clarendon Ballroom with her friend Anne. It is her first time at a club in the NoVA-DC area. Anne likes to talk alot and sometimes talks too much. She introduces Vienna to two very tall guys. The guys, it turns out, happen to be Olympic athletes. Excited, Vienna talks to the guys about what sports they play, their experiences at the Olympic games and so forth. But the guys do not appear interested in talking at all, eye-balling Vienna up and down like she is a lambchop. Vienna feels uncomfortable and walks away.

As the night wears on, people have had too much to drink. As Vienna walks by a lounge area, one very drunk guy has a difficult time standing up, walking, and finally spins around a few times and falls down. On his way down, he grabs the two curtains above him thinking they'll break his fall. Instead, he breaks the curtain rods, pulls all of the curtains down, and collapses on the ground,. As he lays crumpled on the ground at Vienna's feet, mumbling, an employee says to her, "You'd better pick your boyfriend up. I think he's had too much to drink." Vienna looks at the employee and replies, "I don't know who that is" as she steps over the drunk and continues walking. She's had enough of this social scene.

[ICS67]

later that day, all the employees are summoned to meet their newest colleague, RESTON, who appears to be an aging 1960s hippie. The DITSY staff soon notice that Reston dresses only in muted earth-toned colors and appears to suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder, since he is always inspecting the decor in each employee's cubcile to make certain that it fits the design guidelines found in Ditsy's 379-page manual of approved office furnishings.

[Caladium]

Originally Posted by normie

As a side plot, during lunch the DITSY employees try to top each other with weird metro stories. Nobody believes Arlington’s story about the opera singer on the orange line until Brambleton finds a link on you-tube. Hilarity ensues when Tyson has to create an office policy against showing you-tube videos.

As the stories get weirder and weirder, Alex decides to ride the metro looking for her own weird encounter. Nothing happens. She even wears a costume one day, but still nothing happens.

....then, after she gives up and walks away from the Metro, we see the opera singer walking onto the train and bursting into song.

[Caladium]

In next week's episode, we learn that Culpeper the dog belongs to WOODBRIDGE.

The plot centers on this past Monday when Woody was out walking his dog and came across the protest by the Westboro Baptist Church. Woodbridge is distracted by the pirate counter-protestors and while he's reading the sign that said "The WBC Gave Me Scurvy" Culpeper runs away.

Finally Woody catches him, takes the dog home and goes to work--but now he's late for a meeting. Tyson the boss gives him a hard time until Brambleton discovers a new video of Culpeper the Dog taking a giant poop right where the WBC members are standing, and then peeing on their bus.

Now Woodbridge and Culpeper are heroes! Reston the hippie dude finds some cosmic music and turns this doggie video into a you-tube sensation.

[robbobobbo]

Lorton really wants to to get to Vienna, but Fairfax, the suave hunk with family money, keeps getting in the way.

[normie]

Originally Posted by robbobobbo

Lorton really wants to to get to Vienna, but Fairfax, the suave hunk with family money, keeps getting in the way.

LOL so it looks like Vienna, in addition to being a Jersey girl, is a babe if she's got a suave hunk after her! Love it!

I'm also digging Sterling the soft spoken and dependable cleaning guy. I don't know about the rest of you, but if this show actually existed in real life, I'd watch it. You know, I think we're going to have some fun with this.