Divorce in VA (Vienna: insurance, how much, lawyer)

[ol_riji]

Hi everyone!
I hope someone can help me with suggestions.
My husband and I live together. He has a major issues with an alcohol, which became worse since the May 2020.
I cannot take it anymore and do not believe that he is going to change (how he promised me thousand of times). I see only one way — divorce. However, I am at that point when I do not want to wait 6 month of separation and then file for a divorce. I am afraid to imagine till what condition he is going to get if he lives on his own.
We do not have kids, property and anything to share. All I want to make it quick. He does not have any claims against me either.
I want to believe that there is a better way to resolve my issue then to live separate for 6 month.

[Bigfoot424]

You need to seek out an attorney and the advice on laws in VA. I thought in VA you had to live separately for one year before you can file but of course I could be wrong. Please don't rely on internet advice unless by some chance a member here is a lawyer specializing in divorce.

[reebo]

Bigfoot is right: you have to be separated for a year. My brother divorced recently.

[weezycom]

In Virginia, it's 6 months separation if you are childless or your children are over 18; one year if you have younger children.

You can count some time toward the 6 months if you have been living separately within the home; how much will depend on "separate" you can prove. Consult a divorce attorney to see how you can separate financially to help speed up the process as well.

[ol_riji]

Originally Posted by weezycom

In Virginia, it's 6 months separation if you are childless or your children are over 18; one year if you have younger children.

You can count some time toward the 6 months if you have been living separately within the home; how much will depend on "separate" you can prove. Consult a divorce attorney to see how you can separate financially to help speed up the process as well.

Thanks you so much!
I tried to find an information how to prove a separation under the same roof and got upset, because basically it is impossible :-(((

[Tawoll]

Being an alcoholic of 30 years myself (and now 15 years sober via working the 12 Steps of AA, but in and out of AA many times before that), I can tell you your husband most likely will seek the help he needs only if he wants to (in my case I had to hurt bad enough). No one can make him become sober, not even himself, if he is a true alcoholic. He is powerless over alcohol, if alcoholic. But if he has an open mind and wants something better for himself and is willing to follow simple directions to the best of his ability, there is hope.

What this means is you need to do what is right for you; don't wait around for him to get sober. An active alcoholic wreaks havock in the lives of all those he comes in contact with and most alcholics do not become sober. Don't worry about him and whether or not he can care for himself, do what is right for you. If that means immediately moving out for your sanity and/or safety do it, and in 6 months perhaps re-evaluate, or file for divorce. But be aware that many/most alcholics relapse, and some do so many years later. All it takes is one drink; just one! The best insurance against relapse is actively working a recovery program, even after longstanding sobriety.

You may also want to seek the advice of an attorney well versed in family law.

P.S. I live in Virginia and have been divorced twice and am now happily remarried going on 16 years. Perhaps you moving out is the wake-up call your husband needs. Also, it's possible you are enabling him if you are taking care of him, which is not good for either of you.

The 6 month separation is just like being divorced, for all practical purposes. Just don't let the court or your husband know if you date anyone before your divorce hearing (your husband could charge you with adultery).

It will get better, even though it does not seem like it now; it truly will.

[Old Guard]

Is your problem you cannot afford a place on your own? If so I think you should seek out those resources as well. I am not sure what resources VA has for women in a relationship like this but there are probably places to go to get advice and possibly group homes. This is very stressful so you should seek out people that have experience with this type of situation and remember that this is not your fault.

[Tawoll]

You may want to contact the Women's Center in Vienna, VA. https://thewomenscenter.org/

https://thewomenscenter.org/about/

[Ffxdata]

Originally Posted by Tawoll

You may want to contact the Women's Center in Vienna, VA. https://thewomenscenter.org/

https://thewomenscenter.org/about/

I’ve heard good things about that program. They have online tutorials (or did last time I checked).

I know of a close friend who was able to live Together but prove “separately“. They had to have separate grocery and living expenses (cell phone, both paying towards internet, even doing laundry separately). But they did manage.

Also, the other way would be to get residency somewhere else that didn’t require a waiting period. Good luck.