Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Having lived with a Mexican roommate for 22 years, I now see Oscar's point. I'm to the point now where if a guest shows up on time, that person will not be re-invited.
When I traveled to Mexico the first time, my guidebook stated: If you're invited to dinner by some family some night at 7pm, show up at 8 pm or they'll never invite you back again.
That may be how they do things in Mexico but here in the USA it's considered rude to be late, especially chronically late and VERY late.
Location: The Circle City. Sometimes NE of Bagdad.
24,445 posts, read 25,978,821 times
Reputation: 59788
We had a friend in our group that met for special occasions. On woman was always late and we even tried telling her the affair was 1/2 to 1 hr. earlier than what it was.
When she passed away, she must have passed the late gene down to her daughter as she was late for her mothers funeral.
I finally just cut off a friend who has been my friend for over 20 years, because I simply couldn't deal with this craziness any longer. I watched her one time, when she was (again, regularly) late to meet me at a coffee shop. She was at least fifteen minutes late, probably more than that. I watched her slowly pull into the parking lot and park. Then she talked on her phone for awhile on speaker phone apparently. Then she truly MEANDERED across the parking lot - literally going so slowly I couldn't believe it, and looking this way and that way casually - it was maddening. She lived five minutes at the most from the coffee shop. She had texted me 30 minutes earlier telling me "I'm on my way!" but she clearly wasn't. And she would have been late then anyway because by the time she actually got into the coffee shop she was over 30 minutes late.
A few years earlier I had errands to run "in town." I live about 20 minutes outside of "town." We were supposed to meet for lunch after my errands. So I finished up on time, and went to the parking lot of the place we were supposed to meet - and sat there, and sat there, and sat there waiting for her. We were supposed to meet at 12 noon. Finally, about twenty minutes after I was supposed to meet her, she called and was laughing and said "You won't believe this but I just woke up! Can we meet at 1:30 pm?" I said, "Nope, I need to get home. Plus I'm hungry by now." She literally started crying and said "Oh, don't be like that - let's just meet at 1 instead of 1:30." (It was about 12:30 by then.) I thought to myself, "And she'll be late for that too." I said, "No, I'm going to just go home." When I hung up she was still crying. CRYING. What the heck. I don't need that drama.
The weirdest thing is that she wasn't late for work or for appointments with clients. She didn't respect MY time. I just finally threw in the towel and I feel a lot better now. I haven't talked with her in weeks and I don't miss her.
People like this don’t seem to realise how annoying it is for the other person to be sat around, just waiting… and waiting for them. They seem to think that you will happily sit there, looking at your watch, wondering what time exactly that they are going to show up.
And have you noticed that they never have a reasonable excuse for being late? I can understand if it was a one-off emergency, but the excuses they come up with… “I woke up late”, “I’m running late”, “The traffic was bad”. I’ve known a few people like this, over the years, and I’ve heard all the excuses.
I’m sorry that you had to lose your friend over this. But people need to respect that other people’s time is important to them.
People who ride my bumper when I'm doing the speed limit, in a construction zone especially....
My new rule that has been adopted is that when there are concrete barriers on both sides of the only lane available is that when someone rides my bumper when I am doing the speed limit is that I will slow down 5 mph at a time until they get the idea. They cannot get there one single second faster by tailgating and may cause a wreck that could delay them for hours. They have a complete lack of horse sense.
Lateness seems to be a "thing" all through Latin America. Some even call New Mexico the "Land of Mañana."
When in Rome and all that good stuff...
I don't live in New Mexico or Latin America. None of my friends do either. Plus people seem to know how to get to things that are important to THEM on time, so there's that.
I'm not expecting someone to be absolutely on the dot 100 percent of the time. But I do expect them to value my time as much as I value theirs. I expect them to treat me with as much respect as they treat their boss or a big customer or their doctor when it comes to punctuality. My time is important too.
A Hispanic guy owns the company that does my landscaping. He has done it for years. He knows I'm good for the money so to speak. I moved here in April and had him come out to bid on some stuff I needed done - a patio, flower beds, drainage, etc. It was a big job. The owner came out and measured, took pictures, discussed options with me, etc. I never heard back from him. I even contacted him, and then the other owner after a couple of MONTHS went by - nothing. Meanwhile his company comes out every single week and does my yard maintenance. Finally I got someone else to do it - it was a big job, thousands and thousands of dollars. Finally he came out again - about four months later - and said "Why you hire them? We could do this." I said, "I tried to use you. I still have stuff to do - are you interested?" He said "Yes, show me," and he pulled up photos of the same sort of work in other yards and said "We'll do it!" Weeks more went by - no word. I got someone else again.
New complaint.
Went to wally's for men's clothes.
About 90% of clothes were BLACK.
What gives?
Socks were in my great grandsons size and most were heavy duty or for winter needs...i am in so calif climate.
Not one person was looking in the dept...wonder if it will change at all.
Last Christmas saw the same comparison at Sears.
They both are losing out on my DLLS.
I don't live in New Mexico or Latin America. None of my friends do either. Plus people seem to know how to get to things that are important to THEM on time, so there's that.
I'm not expecting someone to be absolutely on the dot 100 percent of the time. But I do expect them to value my time as much as I value theirs. I expect them to treat me with as much respect as they treat their boss or a big customer or their doctor when it comes to punctuality. My time is important too.
A Hispanic guy owns the company that does my landscaping. He has done it for years. He knows I'm good for the money so to speak. I moved here in April and had him come out to bid on some stuff I needed done - a patio, flower beds, drainage, etc. It was a big job. The owner came out and measured, took pictures, discussed options with me, etc. I never heard back from him. I even contacted him, and then the other owner after a couple of MONTHS went by - nothing. Meanwhile his company comes out every single week and does my yard maintenance. Finally I got someone else to do it - it was a big job, thousands and thousands of dollars. Finally he came out again - about four months later - and said "Why you hire them? We could do this." I said, "I tried to use you. I still have stuff to do - are you interested?" He said "Yes, show me," and he pulled up photos of the same sort of work in other yards and said "We'll do it!" Weeks more went by - no word. I got someone else again.
I don't get it but oh well.
I don't either Kathryn but I think it must be a cultural thing.
I'm sort of used to it out here in west Texas where the Hispanic culture has dominated the scene for many years. However, it still bugs the heck out of me when it does happen. It probably won't bother my grandchildren though because I'm pretty sure we can all expect it to get much worse in the coming years.
Actually, I think that people who turn up too early are just as bad as people who are really late.
I’ve had people who say that they’ll turn up to my house at a certain time. So then I think that I have until that time to get ready.
But then they turn up too early… and I’m not ready! I’m still getting changed, or doing my hair or makeup or whatever! Then I have to rush to do everything!
Having said that though, it must have been great to travel around Mexico. I guess that when you travel to another country, you have to respect the rules and social rules of that country.
I understand. I go through this with my sister. We will set a particular time for her to arrive to pick me up for us to go somewhere, but since she always leaves earlier for anything, she inevitably shows up too soon. She will say, "Well, traffic is always bad"..blah, blah, allowing too much time for. So, I am finishing up while she sits in her car. I will have timed it for what I need to do, then feel rushed.
I recall when we would go to movies, arriving way before even previews began and were the first to sit in the theater! Now, I don't need to do this, yet she must have felt very calm as we were seated. When with another, I recall typically arriving while others filed in, still prior to previews. (What I didn't understand were having those standing around in the dark trying to get seats after the movie began)..
Once, I was told prior by my niece that I would be picked up for a get-together for four of us at 3:00 pm. As with you, I was only still preparing myself when notified they were outside around 2:20. Then, they didn't want to come in or wait, which really, was not going to take me long.
One wanted to get somewhere to "have something to drink" - so guess what, I waited for an hour while they all chilled at some establishment! THEN, after they returned and being in the car, I was told there had "been a change of plans" and were doing something other than I had expected (which would require me to stand a lot with a weak knee). If I had been told this prior, I would have just opted to remain at home, but we went and I was pretty unhappy. ALSO, I think that it was portrayed to another as my "having been behind" instead of the reality of another having caused the time change. As you might see, this really upset me.
Now, I'll admit I function in the opposite direction, though never to the degree having been described by others here, never keeping others waiting forever, only minutes, no extremes. But I think those also being habitually too early Besides, have some disorder that makes them overdo it. I think that people are wired differently, some making set-in-stone, long-range plans, having expectations, with others being very spontaneous and flexible. I recall a guy I dated being so regimented, that he had to eat at exactly the same moment each day, not open to seeing a movie a bit earlier or later, for instance. I prefer flexibility and spontaneity, for the most part.
Last edited by In2itive_1; 10-18-2021 at 02:22 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I guess that when you travel to another country, you have to respect the rules and social rules of that country.
