changing bed times (daycare, parents, activities, play)

[alise007]

My 2 are in daycare now and they get up around 730a, get to daycare by 830a and have breakfast at school.

I have 1 more year of daycare before kindergarten for the 4 yr old. We are NOT morning people. Hubby gets up around 645-7a for work. I work part time in the afternoons/late morning til 530p. By the time we get home from work and picking up at daycare it is around 630p. Eat dinner btw 7-730p, bath around 830p and bed by 930p most nights. Both kids take 1-2 hr nap at school M-F.

I think kindergarten will require that we start at 630a and have breakfast eaten and be at school by 730a/745a ish.

Hubby doesn't get home some nights til almost 8 the week's he is on call. We enjoy eating together as a family as much as possible. If he is running late we do eat without him but it is nice for him to play with the kids for a bit before getting ready for bed those late nights.

I can't see me getting both kids home any earlier than 615p once elementary school starts since I will have 1 at daycare and one at after school near our home. I can imagine getting him to bed maybe by 9 once you factor in dinner, bath and homework if we rush.

It will be easier to have both kids on the same schedule/bedtime routines. We have tried in the past getting them to bed earlier but they aren't tired and the older one gets out of bed several times for water, bathroom etc...IF they go to bed at 930 there is rarely a fight and they go to sleep quickly with rarely an excuse.

I will have to change my work schedule to leave at 5pm in order to pick up both kids. Probably can't leave much earlier on a regular basis.

Any tips on how to gradually change them over (and me!) without creating mass whining?! How long should I expect the transition to take?

[Ceece]

I am confused by all the different times of all the different things. What is the bedtime now and what do you want it to be in a year? Without the afternoon nap they MIGHT be more tired and go to bed earlier, but everyone is different and my kids required less and less sleep each night as they got older. We had the "you have to be in your room by x-o'clock" but they didn't have to turn out their lights right away, they could read until they got sleepy.

In my experience it takes only a few days to a week to adjust to a new sleeping schedule, assuming they actually need all the sleep you think they do.

[alise007]

sorry! it was late when I was typing
bedtime is about 930, ideally if they are going to have to get up an hour earlier at 630a I would want them to go to bed at 830 but not sure how that is possible when we aren't eating dinner til 7ish then bathtime etc... I could possibly get it down to 9p but not sure how much earlier we realistically can achieve.

i will try to edit the other one to make it easier!

[alise007]

well don't have the edit button anymore so I will try to lay this out better-

current schedule
kids wake @ 730
arrive school by 830, they eat breakfast when they arrive 830-9ish
leave work 530
home @ 625
dinner ready 700p
bath 8 or 830
bed 930

Kindergarten next year-
wake at 630a
school 730a
leave work to pick up kids in 2 diff places 5pm
home probably 615p
dinner ready 645-715 ish
homework if any, bath and bed by 830p


They seem to take forever to eat dinner and we try to let them play in the bath for a bit, let them play a little with train table or play kitchen, read a few books then bed.

[Kibbiekat]

change bed time 15 or 20 minutes at a time over several nights before school starts. Once the older one is out of daycare and no longer getting a nap, his sleep schedule will probably shift on its own.

[88txaggie]

I know you said you aren't morning people, I wasn't before kids either. But one thing you might try is to make breakfast the always family meal, rather than dinner. That would push everything earlier, and bedtimes/tired kids would follow.

[houstmom]

I would focus on getting dinner started a lot earlier. You say you work part-time. It seems like the kids are in school/daycare all day long. Do you work everyday or are you off some days? Can you work the mornings instead of late afternoon/evening so you can be at home to cook dinner in the late afternoon so that it is ready earlier? Or on the days you are off, can you cook ahead (like freezing meals, some people swear by this).

If you are at home in the mornings, when you are not working, would you be willing to cook dinner ahead of time and then just heat it up when its actually dinner time? You could make casseroles that could be heated up at dinner time. That way you can eat dinner earlier. As someone else suggested, make breakfast your family time together instead of dinner. Your dinner time seems kind of late for young kids.

[NoExcuses]

Along with houstmom's post, usually after school care includes getting homework done. In kindergarten your child won't have much at all, but can easily get it done before you pick up. All it would take for you is a few minutes to go over it with your child each night.

[Scientist Mom]

Alise007 -

Couple of thoughts.

1) I totally understand your concerns firsthand. My daughter completed Kindergarten this year. Prior to that, our schedule was similar to your current schedule (and to some extent we have resumed it this summer).

2) It takes a lot shorter time than 1 year to change a child's sleep schedule and sometimes their sleep patterns change on their own over the course of 1 year. Enjoy the situation you have now.

3) I don't know the answer and I really don't know how to put a elementary school kid who does not nap on the same schedule as a daycare kid who naps (I wish I did - my DD does not like that she often has to go to bed before her 3-year old brother and man I wish he would go to bed earlier). You did not mention the age of your younger child. How close is he or she to giving up naps?

4) You will find that the time you have between arriving home (after work/ school and aftercare/ daycare) and bedtime goes so quickly with kindergartener. It gets even worse if the kid has any early evening activities (sports practices, gymnastics, etc.) I agree with houstmom that anything you can do to get them home a little earlier and get dinner on the table a little faster is worth exploring. Even an extra 1/2 hour is worth the effort. Cooking ahead? Crockpot? Compromising with not that great but superfast meals sometimes (sloppy joes from Manwich sauce, chips and veggie sticks or fruit can be on the table in 20 minutes)

5) Is there another way that your husband can interact with them when he gets home late? Perhaps do bedtime reading etc. with your older child. Or maybe they can have dessert while your husband eats dinner. Dinner and straight to bed sucks but dessert and right to bed is kind of fun.

6) On a positive note - I thought it would be hard to add breakfast at home to my daughter's routine (she previously was eating breakfast at daycare or en route) but it wasn't. Breakfast as a family at home would not work very well in our house but if you think it would work in yours, know that there are a number of crockpot recipes for breakfast that you could start the night before.

[lhpartridge]

Kids can change their schedules within just a few days, so I would wait until the week before school starts to change it. You can make the adjustment all at once or in two or three increments. They'll be grumpy at first, but they will be more tired at the end of the day. We've found that it's easier to deal with getting them to be earlier once they are already tired and want to sleep. Try to make sure they get plenty of physical activity early in the day so that they will be ready for bath and bed.

When one parent gets home much later than the rest of the family, it can be difficult. You may want to try having an early dinner for the kids and giving their dad a snack once he gets home. Then let him do much of the bedtime ritual while you prepare a grown-up dinner for the two of you. It's very important for the two of you to stay bonded as life with school-age kids gets more hectic. Remember, bedtime is not just for the kids. It's also so that the parents can quit being Mom and Dad when they are alone together. ;-)

As the kids get older, you can begin having them wait a bit longer in the evenings so that you can all have dinner together. But for the time being, know that there was once a time when Dad came home to kids that were fed, bathed, and ready for bed by 7, so that he could have a drink and unwind before dinner. That's not what I'm suggesting here, but generations of families made it a common practice back when fathers were seen as providers more so than co-parents.

If you're not a morning family, you may never really develop a taste for breakfast first thing in the morning. We never did. We did have breakfast suppers every now and then, because we like pancakes, etc., just not first thing in the morning.