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Okay, so let me first start off with this: I'm 19 years old. I graduated high school last year with honors. I am in my second year of college and I have a PT job and a saving's and checkings account w/over 2k. I plan on going to nursing school in the fall of 2011, and I don't plan on trying to conceive until after I am admitted and have a decent job as a CNA with my own apartment. I plan on having my own apartment, my CNA license and job by late 2011/early 2012. By then, I will only have two/three years left of college and be 20 years old.
I really have no passion in life other than wanting to be a mother. I have been depressed, but I am on medication. I have a yearning to be a mother, and I don't know how much longer I can wait. All I want now is to have a baby of my own. I know babies are hard work, but I am willing to put the effort into taking care of my baby. I don't have nor want a partner; I am willing to do this on my own (via sperm bank).
Is 20 too young to try to conceive? And are there some things I need before trying to have a baby? Also, how much money should I have saved up for a baby?
Okay, so let me first start off with this: I'm 19 years old. I graduated high school last year with honors. I am in my second year of college and I have a PT job and a saving's and checkings account w/over 2k. I plan on going to nursing school in the fall of 2011, and I don't plan on trying to conceive until after I am admitted and have a decent job as a CNA with my own apartment. I plan on having my own apartment, my CNA license and job by late 2011/early 2012. By then, I will only have two/three years left of college and be 20 years old.
I really have no passion in life other than wanting to be a mother. I have been depressed, but I am on medication. I have a yearning to be a mother, and I don't know how much longer I can wait. All I want now is to have a baby of my own. I know babies are hard work, but I am willing to put the effort into taking care of my baby. I don't have nor want a partner; I am willing to do this on my own (via sperm bank).
Is 20 too young to try to conceive? And are there some things I need before trying to have a baby? Also, how much money should I have saved up for a baby?
P.S. I have health/student insurance.
I am going to bite.
I am not judging you and do not think that I am here to offend you. Personally I feel you are no where near ready to be a mother. You are battling depression and on medication. Women who suffer from depression are more like to suffer from post natal depression which can be worse than your original depression. I think you should focus more on getting better, focus on your degree, enjoy life and wait to have a child. Children cost more than just 2K in savings and while you may want to do this on your own, it really helps to have a partner.
Go travel, see the world first and enjoy life. Your time will come to have a baby and by then you will be the best mom you can without a regret that you haven't been able to do all the things you wanted to do.
If you're going to do this entirely on your own, you MUST wait until you are finished with ALL of your schooling. You won't make enough as a CNA to support a baby, and it will be extremely difficult for you to finish school. Plus, it's not fair to your baby to come into the world only to be babysat by other people while you work full time AND attend school full time. You'll rarely see your child during the first three years of its life!
According to the information you provided about your education, you should wait until 2015 at least. But it sounds to me like you have some emotional issues---like you expect having a baby will fill an emptiness in your life. That wont' happen. You shouldn't have a baby while you are strugging with emotional issues. Hopefully you'll be over those problems by 2015. If not, wait longer.
Stop thinking of yourself and what you want. If you are going to be a good mother, you will think of waht's best for your baby before you even have a baby.
So, you haven't finished your education, you don't have a partner to help you, you have a PT job with very minimal savings, and you have an issue with depression. What exactly can you offer a child at this stage in your life? Love? That doesn't cut it.
How ever much you "think" a baby will cost, multiply that by 10. Ten times the money, ten times the time.
Adopt a dog, seriously. I'm not trying to be mean, but you have many child bearing years ahead of you, and right now you are in no position to take on a baby.
If you're going to do this entirely on your own, you MUST wait until you are finished with ALL of your schooling. You won't make enough as a CNA to support a baby. It will be more difficult for you to finish school if you have a child. Plus, it's not fair to your baby to come into the world only to be babysat by other people while you work full time and attend school full time. According to the information you provided, that means you should wait until 2015.
Stop thinking of yourself and what you want. If you are going to be a good mother, you will think of waht's best for your baby before you even have a baby. It sounds to me like you have some emotional issues---like you expect having a baby will fill an emptiness in your life. That wont' happen.
I wish I could rep you again Hopes.
OP she is right, a baby will not fill an emptiness in your life. Work on your problems and wait....
I am not judging you and do not think that I am here to offend you. Personally I feel you are no where near ready to be a mother. You are battling depression and on medication. Women who suffer from depression are more like to suffer from post natal depression which can be worse than your original depression. I think you should focus more on getting better, focus on your degree, enjoy life and wait to have a child. Children cost more than just 2K in savings and while you may want to do this on your own, it really helps to have a partner.
Go travel, see the world first and enjoy life. Your time will come to have a baby and by then you will be the best mom you can without a regret that you haven't been able to do all the things you wanted to do.
All the best!
No offense, but I have tried to "enjoy life" but I simply can't. I have major baby fever as of now. I would get a pet if I could, but where I live, I am not allow to have a pet.
But I agree that 2k isn't enough...how much should I have saved for a baby?
So, you haven't finished your education, you don't have a partner to help you, you have a PT job with very minimal savings, and you have an issue with depression. What exactly can you offer a child at this stage in your life? Love? That doesn't cut it.
How ever much you "think" a baby will cost, multiply that by 10. Ten times the money, ten times the time.
Adopt a dog, seriously. I'm not trying to be mean, but you have many child bearing years ahead of you, and right now you are in no position to take on a baby.
Okay, I can understand MOST of what you are saying, but what is wrong with not having a partner in the picture? I'd prefer to be a single mom. In fact, nowadays, there are plenty of women out there raising kids on their own.
As for the PT job, I plan to work full-time and go to school PT when I have my baby. And as much as I would love to adopt a dog or a pet, I can't. Where I live, I can't have pets.
So, you haven't finished your education, you don't have a partner to help you, you have a PT job with very minimal savings, and you have an issue with depression. What exactly can you offer a child at this stage in your life? Love? That doesn't cut it.
How ever much you "think" a baby will cost, multiply that by 10. Ten times the money, ten times the time.
Adopt a dog, seriously. I'm not trying to be mean, but you have many child bearing years ahead of you, and right now you are in no position to take on a baby.
Agree with everything except adopting a dog. She's working pt and going to school. The dog would be lonely.
OP- why are you depressed? Are you away at school and miss family and friends? The holidays can be hard when you feel alone and isolated.
Have you considered serving the under-served in your area? You sound like a kind, sensitive person. Perhaps you could be a comfort to those in need.
Wait until you're done with school, have a full time job, and a full time salary.
Kids are incredibly expensive and very time consuming. If you work part time while in school, you won't be making nearly enough money. If you work full time while in school, you'll never see the kid (and end up spending a ton on babysitters or daycare).
Not saying this to be mean, but it just doesn't sound practical right now. I had baby fever at a young age too, believe me, I understand. But it's worth it to wait a few more years until you have financial stability.
I can't believe a sperm bank would accept you as a client, and insurance will not pay the bill either. You aren't infertile as far as you know, so even if you have infertility treatment insurance (rare) the bills will be very high even before a baby is conceived.
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