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Baking cookies, bedtime stories, driving them to school, interacting with the fellow PTA mothers- all of this sounds dreadful.
I was skimming titles of forum topics in this section and I came across the title, "Goodie Bags". This in itself makes my stomach churn. I don't want my vocabulary to become child-like. This by no means needs to be taken by offense, but I've noticed that those with children start to use "child-like" words..
I don't want that and I don't want children.
Shopping in the children's clothing section, interacting with children's friends, dealing with teenager problems, trying to mediate cattiness between young girls, dealing with relationship issues- all of this sounds horrendous.
I don't want to live the extravagant life with money to spend on clothing and materialistic items. I want to live the simple life, with a house filled with animals as opposed to children.
I want to relate though. I want to be able to have baby pictures to pass around with other mothers and fathers and I want to be able to tell "cute" baby stories.
I don't know.. Well, I do know, I just don't WANT to know.
Hi Bennie - I want to give you some honest kuddos and praise for putting some real thought into this and coming to a conclusion. No one should EVER make you feel guilty for making this decision.
It's the people who have all these doubts and thoughts in their head - and yet still go on and have children regardless of how they think and feel because it's what they are "supposed to do" who I think are being truly selfish and, in my opinion, reckless and foolish.
OP: Based on your post, I think not having children is a wise decision, because you do not sound like a person who is selfless, like a person who would give up every last thing for children who make you the center of their love and regard in return. You do not sound like a person who is willing to give up your own time and own interests in exchange for the greatest love you can imagine.
If you don't want children, fine, that is your right and your decision, but don't say you don't want children because you don't want to bake cookies and don't want to buy your children clothes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress
How ridiculous. So what you're saying is she's a selfish person and incapable of putting someone else before herself? Now THAT is a stereotypical and all too common ignorant reaction.
Get a grip.
I agree with you steelstress!
I was shocked by calgirlinnc misinterpretation of the OP's post. Nothing in the post sounded selfish. She just doesn't like kids or anything that involves kids. I'm sure she lavishes her pets with attention and googies. (Sorry OP for using the "goodies" word but I couldn't pass up the opportunity.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc
FWIW, I spend more on my daughter's clothes than I do on my own. It's a southern thing.
One more thing I have read about. It is much easier to save and make a better life for yourself financially then with kids. When you are only feeding one person it is easier to get ahead in life. Being a parent isn't for everyone. I may have joked ealier, but my wife and I do love being parents. I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers and my brother and I are the only sibs to have kids. It turns out that my sisters can't have kids. Three of them want them but that just isn't going to happen. They are still happy living their life though. They are doing well. Another former Girlfriend that I dated for a few years many years ago also can't have kids and decided that her business was her kid. She now had a net worth of $6million +. Not bad for nurturing that child.
What I am saying is that their are many ways to happiness. Choose a path. You can always make a change later on in what you are choosing.
I by NO means think the OP is selfish (or at least the post isn't enough to make that judgement!), but I think it's also pretty clear that she doesn't have a firm grasp of what it really means to be a parent; she's indulging in very shallow stereotypes. I wouldn't call that "real thought" over her decision.
That said, I don't think she is under any obligation to put ANY thought into it. Not having kids doesn't impact anyone other than her, so if she doesn't want kids, don't have them (I get the impression she's young, too, so presumably there's always time to change her mind later. Or not. Whatever works fo rher). If however, she was contemplating actually having children, THEN I would expect her to consider the realities a little more closely. For now, though, that seems irrelevant, other than it would be nice to see more people in the world be a little more open-minded and not assume that all parents fit X mold (or all non-parents fit Y mold!), or that life with kids will easily fill some made-for-TV myth.
One more thing I have read about. It is much easier to save and make a better life for yourself financially then with kids. When you are only feeding one person it is easier to get ahead in life. Being a parent isn't for everyone. I may have joked ealier, but my wife and I do love being parents. I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers and my brother and I are the only sibs to have kids. It turns out that my sisters can't have kids. Three of them want them but that just isn't going to happen. They are still happy living their life though. They are doing well. Another former Girlfriend that I dated for a few years many years ago also can't have kids and decided that her business was her kid. She now had a net worth of $6million +. Not bad for nurturing that child.
What I am saying is that their are many ways to happiness. Choose a path. You can always make a change later on in what you are choosing.
If you don't want children then you shouldn't have children and you definately shouldn't have children just so you can relate and have baby pictures to pass around.
So True. dont have them just to be like others. Have them because you truely want them.
Dont decide for wrong reasons like:
-Pressure from parents who want to be grandparents
-Many others your age are having kids, why shouldnt you be in the "baby click" with them.
-Because you want someone to take care of you when your older (thats a gamble thinking they will do it).
Just because I don't want kids of my own, doesn't mean that I won't do things for other kids.
You sound catty. Get a grip.
Let me attempt to "get a grip":
You have the nerve to come on here and post about how awful being a parent must be because you would have to
1) bake cookies
2) attend PTA meetings
3) shop for children's clothes in the (GASP) children's department
4) create "goody" bags for your child's parties
Then you have the nerve to send me a very nasty private message saying I epitomize all the things you would never be.
Well, let me state publicly (no I won't resort to a nasty private message sent back to you) that you won't be me and I am glad for it.
Your post is full of ignorant stereotypes. It is insulting, rude, and demeaning. If you don't want to have kids, GREAT FOR YOU, but don't ridicule and reduce all of us who do make that choice by reducing parents to a few common--and oversimplified--denominators.
And, yes, being a parent is all about being selfless. It is about doing what your children need whether you feel like it or not. There is no cash reward, no glory; it is gritty and hard and demanding. The only reward parents get is the love their children give them in return. It is about forging lifelong relationships through all the challenges of teenage drama, and 3 year old tantrums, and every other up and down life brings.
If you opt out, then great. But it is unnecessary to belittle other people who do make that choice.
For the record--I have made great friends by serving on the PTA, (PTO, actually), I make the best chocolate cake (not cookies), and I buy my daughter adorable boutique clothes because it MAKES ME HAPPY to do so.
FWIW, I spend more on my daughter's clothes than I do on my own. It's a southern thing.[/quote]
No it's not just a southern thing!!! I spend WAY more on my daughter's clothes than mine. In fact, most of my friend's spend more on their kid's clothes than their own. It's a MOMMY thing! lol
I get confused when people try to encourage people to have children when they don't want children.
I wish you could talk to my mom. And I'm 51! You'd think she'd stop. Never mind the hysterectomy I had.
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(Sorry OP for using the "goodies" word but I couldn't pass up the opportunity.) 
