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Both my cousin and my stepsister grew up without fathers, from a young age. They didn't even know them. But they never felt they were missing anything since they were never around to begin with (from an age where they remember - their fathers left when they were 1-2 y/o)
yea same here, but maybe its a girl thing, (I dont know if your cousin is male or female) but I never gave it a second thought about having a father but my brother was big on it. But theres a bit more to that story.
One point of clarification I must make, not to get into a debate about this particular issue but I meant 2 parents, not necessarily a mom and a dad.
One thing in my own family that I see as a huge benefit is having 2 distinctly different people influencing the kids. In my family DH and I have very different personalities, interests, parenting styles, life experiences, etc. Our core beliefs and morals are very similar, but everything else is very different. For example DH loves taking the kids hiking, fishing, doing impromptu autopsies on critters, talking politics and religion with them, with me they talk about relationships, the world at large, music is a huge part of my relationship with them, culture, we bake together, do the gardening together. It would be fine with just one, but is further enriched by both.
yea same here, but maybe its a girl thing, (I dont know if your cousin is male or female) but I never gave it a second thought about having a father but my brother was big on it. But theres a bit more to that story.
Actually the 2 I was talking about are girls, but I have a boy cousin too who grew up without a father and he did fine. My Great Unlce was there for him as a father figure.
Actually the 2 I was talking about are girls, but I have a boy cousin too who grew up without a father and he did fine. My Great Unlce was there for him as a father figure.
yea I think it depends on the kid my brother used the whole "I dont have a dad" thing to make my mom feel bad to get stuff. Very manipulative, but hes a lawyer now so it works for him. lol
yea I think it depends on the kid my brother used the whole "I dont have a dad" thing to make my mom feel bad to get stuff. Very manipulative, but hes a lawyer now so it works for him. lol
LOL
It does depend on the kid I think. I know many people who grew up without a second parent and don't give it a second thought. My SIL was a single parent until she met my brother and my nephew isn't bothered that his father has never been around. And if it matters, he and my brother are not close. My brother is his father figure, but they are not buddies if that makes sense.
Everyone's experience is different, but IMHO I would prefer to be raising my son with a father in the house rather than as single parent. He gets plenty of time with dad, but I know he wishes he had that day to day mom and dad experience. He's asked me several times when I'm going to get him step daddy. Yes, I can do it and I am doing it, financially,emotionally it IS possible. But I would prefer to have a 2 parent household. And yes, we have a large extended family grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc, but it does not make up for having a mother and father at home every day, together.
My best friend is considering artificial insemination. She is financially and emotionally stable to raise a child on her own, but after my experience as a single parent I would not advise that someone actively seek this out. Maybe it will be different if her child never knows what it's like to have 2 parents, but I'm not sure it will differ much. Kids grow up and they see their friends who have both parents and they start to realize something they didn't know they missed. I think I may have made it look too easy for her, but I would never discourage someone from something they feel is right for them, especially when it involves a woman and her maternal instincts.
Interesting, I was just faced with this recently. I am married with 2 kids. DH is a very involved partner and I don't know what I'd do without him. A friend of mine is 37 and single, with no prospects. She had expressed to me that she really really wanted to be a Mom. She didn't feel she needed a husband, but she didn't feel her life would be complete without a child. Her clock was ticking so she was considering artificial insemination with donor sperm. She has a great job and a house. I know it would be really really hard to do it alone, but I feel if anyone can do it, she can so I support her decision. She did go ahead with the artificial insemination and got pregant her 3rd try. She is due next month. She has even asked me to be her support person while she's in labor, her Mom will be coming too but her Mom lives 4 hours away so she won't be able to get there right away. I think it takes a special person to be able to raise a child alone, but I think if anyone can do it, she can and I'm supportive and excited for her.
Interesting, I was just faced with this recently. I am married with 2 kids. DH is a very involved partner and I don't know what I'd do without him. A friend of mine is 37 and single, with no prospects. She had expressed to me that she really really wanted to be a Mom. She didn't feel she needed a husband, but she didn't feel her life would be complete without a child. Her clock was ticking so she was considering artificial insemination with donor sperm. She has a great job and a house. I know it would be really really hard to do it alone, but I feel if anyone can do it, she can so I support her decision. She did go ahead with the artificial insemination and got pregant her 3rd try. She is due next month. She has even asked me to be her support person while she's in labor, her Mom will be coming too but her Mom lives 4 hours away so she won't be able to get there right away. I think it takes a special person to be able to raise a child alone, but I think if anyone can do it, she can and I'm supportive and excited for her.
SBD78 - you are wonderful for supporting your friend. I would rather be a single parent than get into a relationship JUST for the sake of raising a child with 2 parents. Not everyone is lucky enough - or wants to - meet someone to have a family with.
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