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What area of the country do you live in where such large families are so common? I'd like to know how most people can afford that many kids these days?
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Originally Posted by Hopes
All I can say is it would be crazy to get pregnant on purpose to "try for a girl." The odds are more likely that you'll have a boy because your husband shoots out boys. You need to really think that through. Statistically, the odds of having a girl are decreased with every boy born. So make sure you want another child, not just another gender, before deciding to get pregnant.
Gender aside, truly consider stamina. My sister has four boys. None of them planned. She did everything she could to not have more than one---tubes tied after every pregnancy. But she accepted them all into her life with love. She considers each of them a gift from God. She truly believes that---how else could she end up with so many children when her tubs were clamped and tied down multiple times! But she's a very tired mommy though, very stressed out.
Alternately, my neighbor across the street keeps cranking out children every year. She's at five now. She seems unfazed, has lots of energy and all of her children are very well behaved. Weirdly, my other neighbors with 6 kids are WILD WILD WILD but it seems their parents aren't as worn out as my sister.
It's all about your own tollerance and energy level. It doesn't sound like you're personally there. Everything you posted sounds like you're done having children. And there is nothing wrong with that.
What area of the country do you live in where such large families are so common? I'd like to know how most people can afford that many kids these days?
I didn't know geography played a role in determining family size; I've lived in TX, AL, IL, and WY. Found large families in all areas.
We have 4 children, on one income, no debt, I stay home with them. No public assistance, nothing. We're just smart; buy in bulk, cook at home, do a lot of ebay shopping. We own our cars and our furniture. I don't think it's that hard...yes, we sacrifice manicures, nights out, big old vacations, etc, but I've always been one to not pay retail anyway!
I think if you can make it work, then by all means, have as many as you can see fit and support. I do have a problem, however, with mulitple babies, multiple baby daddys, and the dependence on public assistance, sports club scholarships, food stamps, etc.
We can feed a family of 6 and 3 dogs on about 600-700 a month, and that's a liberal estimate!
Had a bit of "scare" a few weeks ago when I thought dear child #3 was on the way. DH was excited by the idea of "getting the girl" since we have 2 little boys, but I was not thrilled: as my boys get older, I'm looking forward to the days when they don't have tantrums, when they can wipe their own behinds (!), and I can finally sleep in on the weekends. Plus, we're stretched as it is with the two little ones in full-time daycare so the idea of a third child put me into a panic about our finances, even though DH simply said "We'll make do." Not to mention the labor, lol! I had two great natural births but still... easy for my husband to say! Also, the idea of b-feeding again, as selfish as it sounds, for the first time didn't appeal to me. The pump, the feeding on demand, carving out time at work to do it, and the storage... But then I started being hopeful until I found out I wasn't. Then I was disappointed a little bit just like DH. It's been in my head ever since.
Anyone here actively go for either that 3rd child to get the boy or girl? Forgetting even the gender, why did you want more children? I have a hard enough time with the two boys not wanting to share and having to devote equal attention to them, so when I think of a baby in the mix with two rambunctious boys, I can't imagine it.
I did not have a third but I wanted a third. For the longest time, it just felt like there was a place setting missing at the dinner table. I had this image of a blond haired child with poker straight hair (my girls had blond curly hair) who was supposed to be at our table stuck in my head. I'd dream about this child (no gender in the dreams just a blond haired toddler.). It took several years for the dreams to stop but they, eventually, did.
The dreams always bothered me because dd#2 was verbal very early and used to tell me about how she chose us as her parents. She doesn't remember this now but at 1 1/2 she was sure she existed before she came here and that she picked us as her parents. She described a place where many children waited to be born and how they chose their parents. Of course, now she tells us she meant to pick the RICH parents, .
Thanks Hopes. I guess I thought I'd be one of those ever-patient moms since I wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, since I was 7 years old in fact. It was a shock to find out I didn't live up to what my vision was. I guess the fantasy and the reality are very, very 2 different things!
My sister had 2 girls, so content. They were about 2 years apart. She was in paradise. When her 2nd one was 6 months old, she found she was pregnant. She cried (privately). I remember. Well, she had a boy and she doesn't know what she would do without him.
Just like you - things were tight and all that. But, she looks back and those were her favorite years. Follow your heart.
What area of the country do you live in where such large families are so common? I'd like to know how most people can afford that many kids these days?
I live in an area with a LARGE Mormon population. You can walk into a restaurant and say "Table for eight" and nobody bats an eye.
Most of my friends have three, as I do. It seems as though that third baby was the one to finally make me and my friends feel the family is complete. I wasn't planning on ours, the ob-gyn said it couldn't happen, but it did when the middle was only 6 months old. In our case (and in great frequency with others I know), we ended up with all boys.
I don't know a single third child who hasn't delighted their parents, and who isn't treasured.
We have two boys and while there was a short time when we went through a "we wish we had a daughter" phase volunteering at the schools over the past 7-8 years has quickly changed my mind about that! SO glad I had boys and you couldn't pay me to have a #3 now - whether it were a girl or boy. It feels good to be "done".
We have 4, and so far we're managing fine. Our #3 was a boy, and my husband was ecstatic...having 2 girls prior he was thrilled! He is all boy and man, I love him to pieces....
#4 was a surprise...seriously. I was on BC and was waiting for a tubal, and we got pregnant. After a VERY difficult pregnancy riddled with illness and scares, our little Evangeline is here. She is amazing; by far the BEST baby out of all 4...sleeps through the night, full of laughter and smiles, full of love. I'm crazy about her, and while I get "looks" from people, I manage all 4 nicely...all children are well behaved, helpful, smart, and loved.
We are done....got that procedure taken care of!
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My sister
SO glad I had boys and you couldn't pay me to have a #3 now - whether it were a girl or boy. It feels good to be "done".
