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I would've blown up too if I had to admit to some massage therapy billing department that my daughter used my credit card fraudulently. She must have been mortified.
Here's item #1 on the Massage Envy wellness program contract, which you had to sign with your initials:
Your membership is auto-renewable. Following the initial term, your membership will automatically continue on a
month-to-month basis at $49 per month until your membership is cancelled. You may cancel your membership during the initial term only in the
event that; you permanently relocate your residence more than a 25 mile radius away from any Massage Envy clinic; or a physician certifies that
you are unable to receive massage services. All cancellations require 30 days written notice and are effective 30 days after the date received.
Payments due prior to the effective date will be charged as scheduled.
And so. You AGREED that they would automatically charge your mother's credit card every month. You AGREED that you would remain in the contract unless your doctor gave a note saying you were unable to have massages, or unless you moved 25 miles away from the nearest Massage Envy (it's a chain, nationwide). You AGREED that if you did need to cancel, you would give 30 days notice.
You, a legal adult, used your mother's credit card without her knowledge (which is credit card fraud) in order to sign a legally binding agreement with a service provider, and YOU are indigent because your mother flew into a rage when she found this out? Are you kidding me?
You should be grateful she didn't throw you head-first through the kitchen window.
And if TG is turned off perhaps it's because of your own financial irresponsibility? Maybe that is making him give second thoughts to the relationship? It would me. And that is not your mother's fault.
Actually it does.
Just because your name is on the rent doesn't me you can act like a flaming crazy person and conduct yourself in a way that is only suitable for the jerry springer show.
My names on a piece of paper I can do whatever I want and make people think I am a nut and make my daughters friend never want to come over again and start conflicts between my daughter and the guy she really likes.
No, there are repercussions for behavior like that.
Like me not talking to her.
I went to her and apologized for the massage envy incident and she didn't want to hear it, she didn't care how I felt when I told her, all she said to me was I don't want to hear this and if you don't leave my room I will call the cops and have you removed.
So, until she can conduct her self appropriately and discuss things with me like an adult and not threaten to call the cops the second she hears something she doesn't like then I will speak to her until then I am not talking to her, I am having absolutely no contact with her whatsoever.
I want an apology for her display of behavior last night, I want her to apologize to TG and I want her to work on controlling herself when something goes wrong and she needs to discuss something with someone.
Until then I am not talking to her.
All your choices. Control over our own behavior is pretty much the only thing any of us have. We can say and believe other people "should" behave differently, but at the end of the day, what should be and what is are two different things.
You may disagree or dislike it, but the person in charge of basic living expenses does have more control. You don't have to like or agree with your mother's behavior, but as long as she's paying the bills and you're choosing to stay with her, you have to deal with it.
IMO, the most effective way to remove ourselves from unwanted interactions in a household is to become financially independent and have our own space. Most parsimonious way to solve the problem.
he got upset because he thinks I should just brush off what she says..
He thinks I shouldnt let it bother me.
He thinks I should just take it and not let it bother me.
He says we are so much a like and that he used to go through this as well and that I should handle it like he did.
he got upset because he thinks I should just brush off what she says..
He thinks I shouldnt let it bother me.
He thinks I should just take it and not let it bother me.
He says we are so much a like and that he used to go through this as well and that I should handle it like he did.
We do not yell at our kids period. In public or in private.
In fact if I were to find myself yelling at our kids, I would take myself off on my own until I had regained self control.
To me yelling at someone is incredibly disrespectful and diempowering and soul sapping.
It builds frustration and embarrassment.
Let me give you an example.
Last night we went to a friends house to watch the "state of origin". This is a football match that some in Australia would view the way American's view the "world series". Because it is school holidays, both families were going to let their kids stay and watch it till the end. However some of the youger ones were not really interested and did other things. It sort of got out of control with kids running and sliding on the tiled floor and doing summer saults and flips on a matress. It reached a cruchendo of giggling and screaming and kids acusing each other of this and that.
The father kept yelling at his kids to stop and threatening to send them to bed.
Now this put me in a dilema because our kids had joined in with this rabble and to me what we needed to do was put the kids in a different room where they could go wild while still staying up late as promised. But the fathers point was that they were promised to stay up and watch the game. But it was out of control. I went over and as my kids were at that stage out of control too, I just said to each of them "wall" which they know means stand nose to the wall in silence. That got them out of the fray. But to me their behaviour was not disrespectful and so not deserving of punishment.
Anyway his kids continued to mess around and he continued to yell at them and it was just uncomfortable for everyone. Finally at half time he took them up stairs to bed but had to literally carry them up and was yelling in frustration at the same time.
I said to my kids that they could come back and watch the game if they were quiet or play quietly at the back. We got some books and colouring in paper and the the younger two did a bit of that and then came and snuggled on the couch and fell asleep.
Don't you see the irony? She needs massages to alleviate stress. Her mom is the biggest stressor in her life. Her mom paid for the massage.
I have one free massage left.
I think I will just give it to my mom.
My neck hurts so bad and I would love for nothing more than it to be rubbed but my mom can have that free massage.
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Than you dont have to worry about your mom going off on you in front of your friends.
