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I have a BIL and his wife who both work full time jobs. Their kids 4 and 2 are either at day care or grandparents house. BIL and SIL live really close to grandparents, therefore think they can spend all of there time there or drop the kids off whenever they feel like it. Lately when at family gatherings, these 2 kids are doing whatever - getting into things. The parents just sit around waiting for other people to take care of their kids. 2yr old has dirty diaper and parents ignore it until someone says something and then they make comments to each other that it's not their turn, which then grandma proceeds to change diapers.
Last b-day party, SIL was with kids and no hubby (out of town). She tries to give the 2 yr old to my 11 yr old Daughter. (she didn't know what SIL was doing cause she was coming up behind her and didn't hear what SIL said) So 11 yr old ignores SIL. SIL proceeds to sit 2 yr old at a chair at the end of the table, by some other family members. She gets him a plate of food the walks away and sits at another table with her friends. Kids stirs food around on plate and gets down not even eating.
Another time SIL was at grandparents house, grandpa and BIL were shingling house. SIL was in front yard supposedly watching kids. 2 yr old ends up in the back yard standing on top of the 7 ft ladder.
Anyone else have issues of parents not watching their own kids? Is this child neglect/endangerment??
I have a BIL and his wife who both work full time jobs. Their kids 4 and 2 are either at day care or grandparents house. BIL and SIL live really close to grandparents, therefore think they can spend all of there time there or drop the kids off whenever they feel like it. Lately when at family gatherings, these 2 kids are doing whatever - getting into things. The parents just sit around waiting for other people to take care of their kids. 2yr old has dirty diaper and parents ignore it until someone says something and then they make comments to each other that it's not their turn, which then grandma proceeds to change diapers.
Last b-day party, SIL was with kids and no hubby (out of town). She tries to give the 2 yr old to my 11 yr old Daughter. (she didn't know what SIL was doing cause she was coming up behind her and didn't hear what SIL said) So 11 yr old ignores SIL. SIL proceeds to sit 2 yr old at a chair at the end of the table, by some other family members. She gets him a plate of food the walks away and sits at another table with her friends. Kids stirs food around on plate and gets down not even eating.
Another time SIL was at grandparents house, grandpa and BIL were shingling house. SIL was in front yard supposedly watching kids. 2 yr old ends up in the back yard standing on top of the 7 ft ladder.
Anyone else have issues of parents not watching their own kids? Is this child neglect/endangerment??
I have a BIL and his wife who both work full time jobs. Their kids 4 and 2 are either at day care or grandparents house. BIL and SIL live really close to grandparents, therefore think they can spend all of there time there or drop the kids off whenever they feel like it. Lately when at family gatherings, these 2 kids are doing whatever - getting into things. The parents just sit around waiting for other people to take care of their kids. 2yr old has dirty diaper and parents ignore it until someone says something and then they make comments to each other that it's not their turn, which then grandma proceeds to change diapers.
Last b-day party, SIL was with kids and no hubby (out of town). She tries to give the 2 yr old to my 11 yr old Daughter. (she didn't know what SIL was doing cause she was coming up behind her and didn't hear what SIL said) So 11 yr old ignores SIL. SIL proceeds to sit 2 yr old at a chair at the end of the table, by some other family members. She gets him a plate of food the walks away and sits at another table with her friends. Kids stirs food around on plate and gets down not even eating.
Another time SIL was at grandparents house, grandpa and BIL were shingling house. SIL was in front yard supposedly watching kids. 2 yr old ends up in the back yard standing on top of the 7 ft ladder.
Anyone else have issues of parents not watching their own kids? Is this child neglect/endangerment??
Sounds like people need to start speaking up. Also, stop helping, as in the diapers. If I were there I would have picked the kid up and handed him/her to one of the parents and said, "your turn".
Sounds like people need to start speaking up. Also, stop helping, as in the diapers. If I were there I would have picked the kid up and handed him/her to one of the parents and said, "your turn".
It is really hard to say what is going on based on this little bit of info. I would like to say though that DH & I used to play around and had a game of "you touched her last" in regards to changing diapers. It was funny and when DD started walking and wanted to pick which one of us shoudl change her diaper she would walk up to one if us, touch us and say "you touched her last". I am not saying that is what is happening here, but you never know.
Because you refer to them as your brother-in-law and his wife, I assume these people are your husband's brother and wife (not your sister and her husband), and the grandparents in question are the parents of your husband and his brother. I really would not get involved in this beyond rescuing a child from immediate danger if you see it. (In other words, grab the kid from the ladder instead of going to find her mom.) Your in-laws' relationship with their son (the other one, the you aren't married to) has nothing to do with you unless they ask you for your opinion or help. It sounds like they can be really frustrating to be around, and I get that, but the only person who might reasonably insert himself into a parent-child relationship is your husband as the other brother--in a "Hey, the way you treat Mom is not cool" talk with his brother.
If the grandparents in question are your sister-in-law's parents, that's even less of your business. I think the best thing to do is just learn to ignore your brother- and sister-in-law's parenting.
Because you refer to them as your brother-in-law and his wife, I assume these people are your husband's brother and wife (not your sister and her husband), and the grandparents in question are the parents of your husband and his brother. I really would not get involved in this beyond rescuing a child from immediate danger if you see it. (In other words, grab the kid from the ladder instead of going to find her mom.) Your in-laws' relationship with their son (the other one, the you aren't married to) has nothing to do with you unless they ask you for your opinion or help. It sounds like they can be really frustrating to be around, and I get that, but the only person who might reasonably insert himself into a parent-child relationship is your husband as the other brother--in a "Hey, the way you treat Mom is not cool" talk with his brother.
If the grandparents in question are your sister-in-law's parents, that's even less of your business. I think the best thing to do is just learn to ignore your brother- and sister-in-law's parenting.
And this ^^
Unless they are asking you to do something (in which case you can politely decline) or you see the child in immediate danger, it's really not your business. How much they utilize the grandparents or other ostensibly willing people, is really between them and has nothing to do with you.
To the OP. this is exactly how my stepdaughter parents my grand kids and it drives me insane. I used to hate when they came over because she would sit on her butt while her kids destroyed my kids rooms...my kids are aunt and uncle but only 11 and 13 years old, so plenty of age inappropriate toys for the little ones to abuse and bust. I was always getting up and watching them to make sure they didn't swallow a small toy or choke etc. I find it somewhat amazing that there haven't been more accidents!
Anyway, the grand kids are much easier to watch when Mommy is not here, then we enforce our own rules and control the chaos. Since she is my step daughter I don't feel comfortable correcting her parenting, except in very gentle and supportive ways, which are not effective.
Just to offer a different perspective... I remember visiting my in-laws being exhausting when the kids were toddlers. I wouldn't expect their house to be fully toddler-proof, but she had TONS of breakables out within reach. I would have to chase the kids around and take things out of their hands constantly. I also tried putting the breakables up out of reach when we arrived, and got snide comments from MIL. Anyway, eventually I gave up, and my younger one broke a big snow globe. I tried to warn her.
This isn't an explanation for ignoring dirty diapers, or letting the kid get in dangerous spots, but it could be part of the issue.
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