Son, 20, making bad choices... (method, divorce, baby, boys)
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I put myself through my education by working part time to support myself, and my son will do the same. If he's in dire straits, I will help him a little, but I won't spoonfeed him.
He has to realise at some point that he is responsible for the consequences of his actions.
The Bank of Dad is closed.
Well there you go.
And frankly, I don't think putting a kid through college is any ANY manner, "spoonfeeding" them.
Am I doing the right thing by cutting the money off? What say you?
Absolutely! Its time for him to take responsibility. Its great that you have helped him out but if you continue to do so, when obviously he is ok without your financial help, then he will never learn to take care of himself.
A wise man once said, give a man a fish and he will eat for one day, teach a man to fish and he will eat for life.
I put myself through my education by working part time to support myself, and my son will do the same. If he's in dire straits, I will help him a little, and he can have all the advice and guidance he will ever need, but I won't spoonfeed him.
I certainly have no desire for him to come to rely on me.
He has to realise at some point that he is responsible for the consequences of his actions.
round4....I helped a young man having trouble putting food on the table more than once...imagine my chagrin when next time I saw him he was sporting a new tattoo.....seems priorities are very different to different people....you're smart to close down "the Bank of Momma"...keep it closed and your son may possibly learn the difference between needs, and wants.
Possibly, but in my son's case, it was never open.
It may sound harsh, but I've always believed that children should never get everything they want.
They have to learn that it's a hard world, and sometimes we are disappointed. Also that we should never rely on others.
When we want something, we have to work for it, it makes it much more treasured to us.
My son's 18 now, and is at university. He's turned out just fine, and is very level-headed and non-materialistic, he appreciates the value of things.
Very much unlike a lot of kids of his generation.
I agree with you all, I have given him way to much over the years, I guess trying to make up for what his daddy couldn't do. But, I will stand firm, he is grown he needs to act it. Gonna hurt when I see him fall and stumble, and I feel assured it will happen. But, if I love him and I do, I feel liek it's best.
Just wanted confirmation that I'm on the right track...
I'm talking figuratively.
The illustration isn't to scale
Remember, I'm from the UK, but a pint in a pub here when I was at college would probably have been about equivalent to $2.
there was all sorts of promotion nights on, and if I saved up for a bit, I could afford a couple of beers and a whisky chaser !
We all used to make homebrew. It was about $5 for 10 gallons. Tasted like crap, but blew your head off
Possibly, but in my son's case, it was never open.
It may sound harsh, but I've always believed that children should never get everything they want.
Eh, I don't think helping out with the groceries is a big a deal. My dad fell on hard times a few years ago and I helped him out with groceries and spending money until he got back on his feet.
Quote:
They have to learn that it's a hard world, and sometimes we are disappointed. Also that we should never rely on others.
When we want something, we have to work for it, it makes it much more treasured to us.
My son's 18 now, and is at university. He's turned out just fine, and is very level-headed and non-materialistic, he appreciates the value of things.
Very much unlike a lot of kids of his generation.
I think what's going on in the OP's case is more than a matter of being level-headed. There appears to be emotional parent issues going on with this kid, so it's a bit more involved. Her cutting him off will be a good lesson.
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