Interesting Debate: Would you prefer your young teen be sexually active or be addicted to porn? (boy, daughter)
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I agree, but lets remember that high speed internet is a relatively new thing..so that could be changing..
I really think you are trying to simplify a complex issue. Would you rather A or B when A and B are the only possible outcomes. In the real world people there are many possible outcomes.
I know you guys don't have time to read through all of these, but here on CD there's some pretty good examples of chronic porn use by men, who cannot stop. This is the result of what we are talking about here:
I really think you are trying to simplify a complex issue. Would you rather A or B when A and B are the only possible outcomes. In the real world people there are many possible outcomes.
This discussion for me was started because there were SO MANY people in the thread about "caught my teen having sex" that said they would banish the teen from having sex, and never let him/her out of the house.
It seems to appear that would be the worst thing for them if they were hoping to have a normal developed adult years later. I think maybe I wasn't clear about that.
Talking to you is disheartening since sooner or later you through out a name calling or some other mean logical fallacy. But I will try.
I don't see why you're volunteering to respond to that post then; I wasn't even talking to you... Anyway! Do you, or the poster I was actually talking to, disagree with the following or not?
"The use of something in private (absent any real system of moderation) makes it easier for an addiction to develop."
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
Some of us don't believe in controlling our children. WE don't control their failure to become addicted to twinkies, THEY do. At age appropriate times.
You lecture me about "throwing out name calling or some other mean logical fallacy", and then resort to ad hominem of your own? Implying that my not letting my son watch pornography automatically means I will be over-controlling in general? *sigh* If you don't consider it a real enough threat for your child, fine. But I will continue to detail the reasons why I suggest otherwise. Don't like it? I'm sure you can find the Ignore button.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty
They will become Addicted to something then regardless. What would you rather they be addicted to? Porn or Drugs? Addiction is something you are born with, which is why it's very easy for most people to divorce themselves from things.
Tell me more. I think the general consensus among experts is that there is an interaction between both genetics and environment when it comes to addiction, and I'm unaware of any way to test for the genetic predisposition to addiction before it occurs.
I wouldn't want my son addicted to either. But at least when it comes to drugs, parents generally agree: "You find drugs in their room; you automatically know there's a problem". But here is something an ever-growing number of researchers are saying is addictive but dismissed by parents as any sort of threat, neverminding that it would be so hard to know when/if your kid is developing a problem with it before they are addicted. This is why I view pornography addiction as a unique sort. What is your direct response to all of this?
People will always desire pleasure and seek things out to get it. I believe we talked about this earlier in the thread. Many teens used to skate board to get their thrills, ridebikes and jump ramps, which led to things like surfing big waves, playing sports - getting that goal that won the game. THESE are what I would hope for in the addictions my kid developed. We've seen the problem here, parents don't think it's a threat, volunteer workers think it's no issue because they don't see it... etc.
And yes, parents here are clueless (not all) that they are housing porn addicts, why? "Because we don't control our kids"
Addiction is something you are born with, which is why it's very easy for most people to divorce themselves from things.
No one is born with an addiction, any more than they are with cancer or adult-onset diabetes.
Maybe you should read this article on the front page of the wwww.yourbrainonporn.com or watch the TEDx talk posted by the OP.
The article:Porn, Pseudoscience and ΔFosB http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/porn-...and-%CE%B4fosb
Addiction involves first the accumulation of DeltaFosB which leads to very specific brain changes that lead to very specific behaviors - cravings; inability to control use despite negative consequences, compulsion to use, etc.
It is same for drug addiction as it is for behavioral addictions - same underlying mechanisms and brain changes CAUSED by continued chronic overconsumption.
What nearly every person here is missing is that studies reveal that most young men begin porn use at age 10-11 (see TEDx talk and reference). To understand the significance of brain traing of high speed Internet porn, you need to understand
1) neuroplasticity
2) critical periods of development
3) how the reward circuit of an early adolescent differs from a college age kid.
4) the process of synaptic pruning
I strongly suggest you read this Psychology Today post (easy to understand science - no moralizing:
Why Shouldn’t Johnny Watch Porn If He Likes? Sexual brain training matters—especially during adolescence.
People will always desire pleasure and seek things out to get it. I believe we talked about this earlier in the thread. Many teens used to skate board to get their thrills, ridebikes and jump ramps, which led to things like surfing big waves, playing sports - getting that goal that won the game. THESE are what I would hope for in the addictions my kid developed. We've seen the problem here, parents don't think it's a threat, volunteer workers think it's no issue because they don't see it... etc.
And yes, parents here are clueless (not all) that they are housing porn addicts, why? "Because we don't control our kids"
I can tell you that most kids will experiment with porn, it's just easier to get to, you can block it off in your house but you can't block it out in their friend's homes. Just the same with drugs.. You just have to rely on how you raise them and what you teach them. What's good and what's bad and hopefully u get your point across to them. You can tell your kids to jump ramps and ride bikes to get their thrill seeking out but I can almost guarantee that they'll watch porn at some point.
I can tell you that most kids will experiment with porn, it's just easier to get to, you can block it off in your house but you can't block it out in their friend's homes. Just the same with drugs.. You just have to rely on how you raise them and what you teach them. What's good and what's bad and hopefully u get your point across to them. You can tell your kids to jump ramps and ride bikes to get their thrill seeking out but I can almost guarantee that they'll watch porn at some point.
I agree. Which leads us back to the original question. Would you rather a healthy sex life or a life of watching porn because you ban them from sex....
I can tell you that when I was actively having sex in my teenage years, there really was no need for porn.. while it was risky behavior - it was normal. Porn isn't "normal"
I can tell you that most kids will experiment with porn, it's just easier to get to, you can block it off in your house but you can't block it out in their friend's homes. Just the same with drugs..
If this is along the lines of "You can't keep your kids from watching it", I actually agree. Parents should never assume "My kid's never gonna..." anything.
If the implied conclusion is "...so you might as well let them watch it at home", I disagree. Unlike with drugs, regular use of pornography is not safer at home than at a friend's. This is strictly because regular use of pornography at a friend's house will not normally entail the sort of "hunter" obsessed behavior that contributes to addiction that viewing it at home alone lends itself to. It's more likely to be two or three buddies watching it together and not masturbating to it (Ask me how I know; I'll plead the 5th), then moving on to the next activity due to the natural system of checks and balances that comes with doing things in groups. Further, regular use of pornography at a friend's is likely to not even exist. It's much more likely to be viewed only occasionally when compared to the use of it at home.
People will always desire pleasure and seek things out to get it. I believe we talked about this earlier in the thread. Many teens used to skate board to get their thrills, ridebikes and jump ramps, which led to things like surfing big waves, playing sports - getting that goal that won the game. THESE are what I would hope for in the addictions my kid developed. We've seen the problem here, parents don't think it's a threat, volunteer workers think it's no issue because they don't see it... etc.
And yes, parents here are clueless (not all) that they are housing porn addicts, why? "Because we don't control our kids"
There isn't even an agreement from doctors about whether porn is addictive in the first place. So if the experts don't even agree on whether porn is addictive don't expect anyone else to agree. Just because porn causes a change in the brain that does not make it addictive.
Not everyone who uses porn is an addict. Even people who have had problems with porn are not necessarily addicts. You act as if every teenaged boy who ever viewed a dirty movie has some sort of porn addiction.
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