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I can't physically get her into a doctor's office. I think her problem is more with the doctor's visit and being examined by a doctor rather than the actual method of BC. The doctor I made an appt with (and now have to break and pay a fee ) would barely allow me to make an appt without telling them when her last period was. I don't know if that's normal for a gyn office or if they were being difficult. Asking when her last period was is something that should be done AT the appt.
Actually, the OB/GYN office made me pretty mad. When I tried to explain she was a teenager who was resistant to going, a scenario I'm sure they are familiar with, their response is that she is an adult who can do whatever she wants. The lady on the phone sounded like a teenager herself by saying that!
She's right, though. Your daughter is an adult. You can't make her go, nor can they treat her against her wishes. You can't make her take the pill, either. I'd suggest Depo (one shot every three months), and according to my doc, they don't do pelvics before 21. She doesn't have to have one.
If she won't do that, I think you need to ... brace for impact. She doesn't sound motivated to prevent pregnancy, so it will probably happen.
She is in school for cosmetology (hairdressing) while working as a cashier. But she also really wants to have kids, get married, be a mom, etc.
She already moved in with the boyfriend and his family a couple months ago (they don't speak English so I can't talk to them). She works but struggles to make her car payment, insurance payment, and buy food. She doesn't pay rent, and has a small cell phone bill. Boyfriend makes more money but has a kid to support already. It would be a terrible situation to give birth to a child in.
She has been to therapy before with no results of any kind, and it was incredibly expensive. I understand why she doesn't want a pelvic exam, that's natural. But it's something you have to put up with as part of being an adult and having sex. It's so much easier than the alternative. But I can't get through to her! I am making myself sick stressing about this.
She is using condoms right? As long as she uses fresh (not old) condoms every time she has sex what exactly is the problem?
I think condoms are a perfectly good form of contraception. As a parent, all you can do is let her know that if she gets pregnant it's on her and not you. If that is the way you are feeling. Some kids assume their moms will take care of the child. Let her know that she will be responsible for this child. Otherwise, be thankful that she is using birth control.
Have you described to her how quick and painless the pelvic exam is? Does she realize the purpose of the exam and how important it is for any woman who is sexually active since it is essentially a cancer screening?
People have been having children for millions of years...Everyone is acting like this young woman is ill or something. One writer states that she should be tossed out of the house for not doing what others want...Use to be a parent would toss their daughter out for being pregnant, now it looks like they want to toss her out just in case she gets pregnant..Having babies is not a bad thing...She is an adult..maybe it is no ones business at this point?
Well, in the eyes of the law , she is an adult. I think we all know, we've ( The majority of us) have been 18 and we know, we were not as mature as we thought we were.
Th OP said her daughter is in cosmetology school & can barely afford the bills she has now, how in the world would she afford a child? Well, she could live off the government, but that's a different thread...
An 18 year old shouldn't be encouraged to have children. It sounds like the OP is doing what she can to try to get her daughter to understand that. I wish I had an easy answer, I hope when my girls are 18, they are in college and too busy to care about having sex.....
If she is 18 years old why are you involved in this? It is her choice to live how she chooses and honestly none of your business no matter what your relationship is with her. Drop it and move on and leave her alone, whatever happens she is going to have to make a choice to grow up and deal with her decisions or not grow up and count on someone else to bail her out. Stay out of it.
Maybe she'd feel better about it if she went to a female doctor?
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) would barely allow me to make an appt without telling them when her last period was. I don't know if that's normal for a gyn office or if they were being difficult. Asking when her last period was is something that should be done AT the appt.
