The post I never wanted to make but knew I would (orphan, kid)
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Agreed. It's important to have someone along for any major medical appointment. A second set of ears for ourselves, our kids, our parents is always a good thing.
Do you have a family? Did you not attend with your wife during the first ultrasound? I think it's pretty normal to bring someone along for the major appointments and the first ultrasound is a major appointment. Heck, one of the reasons we have and create families is for support during our lives.
The bf needs to be the one to be there. the OP has work that day... she's not the only one available. Somehow, that's good enough for the bf, but not for the OP?
My post wasn't really meant to be directed at the op. It was more in response to steelstress's posting which to me sound like he or she thinks that the op should wash her hands of the situation and her daughter and offer nothing in terms of support or help because she is "grown" and "irresponsible" and therefore doesn't deserve or need any type of support or help from her parents.
Comprehension is really off. Or is it assumption? Point to me where I said the OP should wash her hands? Jumping to conclusions much? OP isn't available that day, and all the hand-wringing here over that is all for nothing when you consider the daughter is quite capable of going herself.
And where did I say she doesn't deserve any type of support or help? I'm certainly not the one faulting the OP in researching any kind of assistance her daughter may qualify for. You have me confused with just about everybody else here.
The bf needs to be the one to be there. the OP has work that day... she's not the only one available. Somehow, that's good enough for the bf, but not for the OP?
I think you are missing the point. Clearly, the BF is the ideal person to be there - but he may not have the type of job (or the longevity) where he can just take a couple of hours off to go to a doctor appt. right now. The OP would be a good choice as well but if she can't be there, well then, she can't. The next in line would be either the OP's husband (DD's father who is retired so clearly has the time) or DD2 (if they were close). The point is SOMEONE in DD1's family should step up and attend this appointment with her so she is not there alone. This is the kind of support that doesn't cost anyone anything, but goes a very long way in the emotional well-being of the mom-to-be. Continually shutting her down and witholding even the smallest amount of emotional support is just cruel and unnecessary.
Comprehension is really off. Or is it assumption? Point to me where I said the OP should wash her hands? Jumping to conclusions much? OP isn't available that day, and all the hand-wringing here over that is all for nothing when you consider the daughter is quite capable of going herself.
And where did I say she doesn't deserve any type of support or help? I'm certainly not the one faulting the OP in researching any kind of assistance her daughter may qualify for. You have me confused with just about everybody else here.
Yep, I'm making assumptions based on these posts:
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress
The girl is 19, why does she need mommy or daddy to go with her? Jeez, people. For all the b*tching people have done here about "letting go" there are sure a lot here that expect the OP and DH to hang all over her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress
She's a big girl, she can go on her own if the bf won't go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress
You need to relax. Any of this can happen during any appointment. So, what you're saying is, she shouldn't attend any appointment alone? And as for transportation, I don't think that is what the discussion is about. She's a big girl, now treat her like one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress
Ugh. Then she can certainly phone someone if/when that happens. Is there any reason why this should be expected at this point?
You seem genuinely annoyed by the very idea that the op's husband, who is off work could accompany his daughter to her OB appointment instead of her going alone.
The bf needs to be the one to be there. the OP has work that day... she's not the only one available. Somehow, that's good enough for the bf, but not for the OP?
I agree. The boyfriend should go. If that's not possible, someone else needs to step in, whether that be Ivory, Dad, one of the other grandparents, another family member, or a friend.
You seem genuinely annoyed by the very idea that the op's husband, who is off work could accompany his daughter to her OB appointment instead of her going alone.
And you seem genuinely annoyed by the very idea that the OP, who has work that day, will not accompany her daughter to her OP appointment.
The bf needs to be the one to be there. the OP has work that day... she's not the only one available. Somehow, that's good enough for the bf, but not for the OP?
I think someone who loves her should be there for her. If not her bf then certainly one of her parents. Age doesn't matter here. Human beings typically require support for various events in life. I'm not sure why this is a foreign concept to you.
And you seem genuinely annoyed by the very idea that the OP, who has work that day, will not accompany her daughter to her OP appointment.
Nope, not at all. I know that the op can't go. I don't think she should skip work to go, there will be other appointments and other things she can support her daughter in. The op said that she'd ask her husband to go. I think that asking the daughter if she wants her dad to go with her is a good plan. And if the daughter wants him there, then he should go.
Maybe her sister can go if no one else is able to. It's a good time to try and build, or rebuild a sibling bond.
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The bf needs to be the one to be there. the OP has work that day... she's not the only one available. Somehow, that's good enough for the bf, but not for the OP?
You need to relax. Any of this can happen during any appointment. So, what you're saying is, she shouldn't attend any appointment alone? And as for transportation, I don't think that is what the discussion is about. She's a big girl, now treat her like one.