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Once again there is a thread about what to do with teenagers who are always rude, obnoxious & moody and who are constantly on their phones instead of being polite to their family, relatives, friends and teachers.
Is it really that big a problem?
I am not saying that my children, as teens, were delightful angels every single second of every single day but they certainly were never rude or obnoxious to us (their parents), or to their relatives, or to their teachers. And, I can not even remember one time when one of their friends were rude or insulting to either me or to my husband, even when we were reminding them of our house rules such as no underage drinking and no using illegal drugs.
Several of my friends have teenage or young adult children and they have always been polite and nice to their parents and their parent's friends during dinner parties, get-togethers and celebrations. And, I really doubt that they are actually Dr. Jeckle & Mr. Hyde behind closed doors.
I spent/spend a lot of time with my teenage nieces and nephews and they are also polite, nice and easy to get along with. And we never have a problem with teens/young adults glued to their phones instead of interacting with adults at celebrations, in restaurants and during holiday dinners.
Heck, I am a HS sub teacher and in five years I can count on one hand the number of students who were even slightly disrespectful to me or refused to put their phones away in class.
So, I really do not think that I am delusional and my children, their friends and my relatives are really jerks and I am just in denial about it. But, maybe I am.
What do you think, are most teenagers today moody, obnoxious, rude, glued to their phones, etc.? Or, are most adults exaggerating when they say that?
I agree 100% and im only 10 years older then a teenager.
its a different world now rulled by soical media and **** being shoved down our ****ing throats
Once again there is a thread about what to do with teenagers who are always rude, obnoxious & moody and who are constantly on their phones instead of being polite to their family, relatives, friends and teachers.
No bigger a problem today than 20 years ago, it seems. The only difference is that technology has gotten much more mobile. Back up a few decades and teens were rude, obnoxious, moody, and constantly hogging the land line.
With each generation new attention grabbing technology is introduced. The thing is - old technology doesn't really go away - it just evolves. This creates a build up of tech and results in us spending more and more of our lives with it.
First you had activities like fishing, hunting, sports, social gatherings, etc.
Then came the radio and now we've added Pandora, etc.
Then you have the television which is still popular (plus Netflix etc)
Then video games which are still very popular.
Then the internet which has obviously been popular for 20+ years
Then you have everyone glued to cell phones
Then you have social media like Facebook/Twitter
The point is, today we use all of the above technologies to entertain ourselves. It's not like one technology simply replaces another - they are added to which creates more and more distraction and possibly breaks downs our ability to interact as well face-to-face. I'm sure that in 10 years there will be something else to add to the list...perhaps virtual reality or something.
No bigger a problem today than 20 years ago, it seems. The only difference is that technology has gotten much more mobile. Back up a few decades and teens were rude, obnoxious, moody, and constantly hogging the land line.
Let's go back 30 years or so. The average home probably has 4 people sharing ONE phone line and ONE television. The kids probably have a boombox or walkman to listen to the radio. That seems like A LOT less distraction compared to today.
When I was doing my undergrad program, cell phones were still relatively rare among the young. A few people had them, but most didn't. And I remember before and after class, between classes or when on a break, there would always be a cluster of students outside smoking, getting some air, or following a friend who wanted to have a cigarette. Before you knew it, there'd be 20 or 30 people out there.
And we got to know each other - we talked about the class, upcoming tests, lots of times we ended up working together in groups, and quite often real friendships formed.
However, by the time I went to grad school, the cell phone craze arrived.
Now, I'm not going to testify on whether teens today are more moody, rude, or obnoxious.
But older teens and young adults - yeah, their phones are permanently affixed to their ears or held in front of their faces to see the texts. I found it irritating because, in the 2.5 years I spent in grad school, I never made a single friend or learned a single person's name (or, more accurately, I was never introduced).
The reason is because of those damnable phones. I couldn't approach anyone. No one approached me. I just sat there and watched as everyone whipped out those phones ... and I couldn't help but think about the people they were calling. Didn't it drive them batcrap crazy being at the mercy of a ringing phone all the time?
All the while, no one was socializing with each other. The people right in front of their faces were far less important than the people who were somewhere else. I'd even see small groups of friends walking together in groups of three or four - and every one of them had a phone to their ears, happily ignoring each other as they walked along.
Out of pure boredom (there was no one to talk to, after all) I actually started keeping track, and I remember one day counting 42 people passing by where I sat, and all 42 of them were on the phone. Yeah, that's right. All of them.
Truth be told, I find it rather sad. Coming from the last generation that grew up without being permanently "plugged in," I cherish the fact that my friendships were all face-to-face in the real world. I find their social lives sad because theirs takes place on a 3" x 3" screen while the wide world around them goes by completely unnoticed and unremarked.
I know that we've all been conditioned by our modern culture to literally drop what we're doing to answer the phone. When we hear it ring, we're almost compelled, ensorcelled to answer it. If ever there was a fine example of a Pavlovian response, just put a person in a room with a ringing phone and watch the merriment ensue.
I had this one particular friend; he and I used to meet up for dinner on a fairly regular basis. We always had fun - we were good company for each other. Then he, too, was sucked into the phone craze. I eventually stopped meeting up with him because every dinner his stupid phone would ring ... and there I would sit as he blathered and blabbed the whole evening away, yammering on his cell phone. Hello? Remember me?
I guess that's why I've always said - never ask a question in person. Always call. Because people on the phone are far, far more important than the customer right in front of you, the one who has been standing in line for the past half hour. Yeah, the one scowling at you, looking very much like he's about ready to rip the phone out of your hands. That guy.
Phones are a wonderful thing - but just like too much candy can make you sick, well ....
Whenever I walk past the vocational school round the corner from me I always see clusters of students outside smoking and chatting. Some are on their phones but most of them are talking to each other rather than messing on their phones.
I think a few adults, who are generally unhappy or dissatisfied to begin with, are very vocal in their quest to blame others for their own issues. Teens are a mixed bag just like everyone else.
I agree, and we adults who really think "back in my day we didn't need cell phones" are full of it. I lived through it, I didn't get my first cell phone until I got a "bag" phone (remember those?) around 1995 at age 25, but I would have LOVED to have had a cell phone in my teen years.
Yes, we made it okay, but yes--I would have LOVED to have had access to cell phones during the particulars of my teenager experiences so I could be reached without my mother having to take messages for me which I received later on that day, and GPS for all the times I got lost, and Internet for looking up something, and MP3 players so I didn't have to lug tons of cassettes or CDs everywhere that could melt or become scratched, etc. The list goes on.
Um, no. The polite thing to do would be to listen attentively, even if you've heard it all before, and squelch your impulse to roll your eyes or put your head in your lap.
This is correct and thank you for pointing this out. I grew up in a community where manners were considered uppity and being distracted is the way to show you are too good for someone or something. I make it sound so simple but I know it happens because I had to unlearn many of those behaviors which I thought were normal.
I would say that many of teens I grew up with were not rude but they were not really polite either. Now that I am living in another community, I would agree that most teens are pleasant to be around and know how to behave towards adults.
I have a 6 year old son (other 2 are 3 and 1.5) and this is what I worry about when they reach their teenage years.
I have never bought them ipad, they can only use ipad when their aunt (who have 1) is around. They never had a game console either. I buy them stuff like kite, bike, skateboard, remote control cars so they play outside and release their energy.
One thing I notice about my 6 year old kid is that everytime he uses my or my wife's fone to play app games, he easily gets half hearted everytime he loses the game. He also doesn't want to be bothered while playing. So we discourage him playing app games.
On the other hand, I observed that most teenagers prefer to be glued on their fones rather than join the gangs.
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