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All I know is that the woman in that video is really annoying! LOL! I could never sit through that entire thing, but I did force myself to watch the part about the worst parenting advice.
My daughter is now 36 and the only advice I can think of off the top of my head, where I'd argue with people about it (like my MIL), and that was considered normal at the time, but that I disagreed with, was feeding your baby a bunch of cereal, which resulted in some pretty obese babies. People wanted to be able to pinch a bunch of fat around their baby's knees, etc. My daughter was always lean, but very healthy. I used to go round and round with my evil MIL and the other mothers in my neighborhood about it.
I was had a friend who tolds me "Don't ever spank your child in anger. Wait till you've both calmed down, tell them when it is going to happen and why and follow through"
First of all I don't believe in spanking. Now I whacked a hand or two and maybe a butt or two during diaper wearing toddler stage to get immediate results but I never put a kid over my lap and whacked them. I had that done to me (the making an appointment time) and I can tell you it is terrible. The tension and anxiety waiting for the spanking was horrible. Whoever thought that was a good idea was a masochist.
In the first place, to be effective, consequences need to be closely connected to behavior. The longer you wait, the less connection and learning take place. Psychology 101.
By waiting to spank, what the kid learns is not that running in the street is bad but that their parent is mean.
Second, this delayed spanking is often accompanied by the weird message that I hurt you because I love you.
WTF? Talk about confusion that can last a lifetime.
Third, you can raise kids just fine without hitting them. Duh hubby and I have raised a houseful. So have my SIL and BIL and several of our friends. All grew up to be responsible, competent, caring adults.
Fourth, the idea that you can control your children with spankings is ludicrous.As soon they are too big too spank, what then?
Not that there should not be consequences. If they make a mess, they clean it up. If they hit their sister, they apologize. If they lie, they have to live with people not believing them for a time.
Our mission as parents is to help our children figure out the world and learn to make good decisions. Hitting them seems an odd way to achieve this goal.
Someone once told me that if I scolded and smacked my younger son enough, he would grow out of "that silly autism thing every kid gets labelled these days!" I admit I wondered briefly if I smacked her enough she would grow out of her own stupidity.
I'm pretty lucky I don't have many family members or friends who wanted to butt into my parenting.
My own mother was in a panic because I did not feed my son cereal at 6 weeks like she did her own kids. In fact he had nothing but breast milk for his first 6 MONTHS. She was convinced i was starving him to death. I finally realized she was not successful at nursing and had no idea what she was talking about. I told her she was welcome to visit and I enjoyed hearing stories about my own infancy but times had changed and I was very confident and comfortable in how I was doing things. She backed down when she went to a well baby check with us and doctor set her straight. it helped he was her age.
I was had a friend who tolds me "Don't ever spank your child in anger. Wait till you've both calmed down, tell them when it is going to happen and why and follow through"
First of all I don't believe in spanking. Now I whacked a hand or two and maybe a butt or two during diaper wearing toddler stage to get immediate results but I never put a kid over my lap and whacked them. I had that done to me (the making an appointment time) and I can tell you it is terrible. The tension and anxiety waiting for the spanking was horrible. Whoever thought that was a good idea was a masochist.
The suggestion to "Don't ever spank your child in anger" is, I think, very good advice. It is the second part of that sentence that I don't necessarily agree with.
The idea of not spanking in anger does not refer to when you are spanking your child; but rather why. If you are spanking in anger, you are often only spanking because your emotions have gotten the better of you, and you are punishing something that may not be an offense that requires a spanking. However, in other cases, an immediate spanking can, and should, be administered (i.e. safety issues).
oh- I just remembered another one. Someone told me to water down my young infant's formula to make it last longer and to give her bottles of water so she stayed hydrated.
The suggestion to "Don't ever spank your child in anger" is, I think, very good advice. It is the second part of that sentence that I don't necessarily agree with.
The idea of not spanking in anger does not refer to when you are spanking your child; but rather why. If you are spanking in anger, you are often only spanking because your emotions have gotten the better of you, and you are punishing something that may not be an offense that requires a spanking. However, in other cases, an immediate spanking can, and should, be administered (i.e. safety issues).
(Not to start a spanking debate, but...)
Honestly, I find the "cool and calm" spanking with hugs and discussions after (or whatever people claim to do) FAR creepier and harmful than a swat out of anger. At least in the second scenario, the kid sees that the parent was angry and acted in a way he or she normally does not. In the first scenario, it's basically sending the kid the message that EVEN when my parent is calm and not angry with me, she'll still hit me.
I had a friend who told me I should never let my child cry, and to pick them up immediately if they whimper.
The same friend advised co sleeping from day one, until they are ready to leave the "nest" . ( I would never cosleep with a newborn!)
Our kids are now ten. Guess whose kid still sleeps with their parents and can't solve their own problems?
I'm not a fan of attachment parenting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
On a different advice board I was once told to make my 4 or 5 year old army crawl and wall-sit as punishment.
Lol, that's silly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe
All I know is that the woman in that video is really annoying! LOL! I could never sit through that entire thing, but I did force myself to watch the part about the worst parenting advice.
My daughter is now 36 and the only advice I can think of off the top of my head, where I'd argue with people about it (like my MIL), and that was considered normal at the time, but that I disagreed with, was feeding your baby a bunch of cereal, which resulted in some pretty obese babies. People wanted to be able to pinch a bunch of fat around their baby's knees, etc. My daughter was always lean, but very healthy. I used to go round and round with my evil MIL and the other mothers in my neighborhood about it.
Lol, MamaNatural is annoying? NO WAY! I love her!!! I sit through her videos every week.
I think part of the reason I have weight issues is because my parents made us clear our plates and we ate McDonald's (or any other fast food) at least 3x a week. We also only ate as a family at holidays.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk
Someone once told me that if I scolded and smacked my younger son enough, he would grow out of "that silly autism thing every kid gets labelled these days!" I admit I wondered briefly if I smacked her enough she would grow out of her own stupidity.
I'm pretty lucky I don't have many family members or friends who wanted to butt into my parenting.
WOAH! I hope no one in that person's family has Autism because they are so uneducated and ignorant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pumpkin5
You're a bad mother if you don't breastfeed I was told, kids all turned out pretty great don't think being bottle fed had a traumatic effect.
WOW! That's so not true. Glad that it didn't hinder your choice to bottle-feed.
My grandmother told me to make formula out of evaporated milk and corn syrup. It's just as good as that expensive pre-made stuff.
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