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I personally think my 1 year old is super cute because of his short stature. Makes me feel like he's still a baby when he's actually past 1 years. A lot of people tell's me he still looks like an infant...BUT in the long term, this may be more bad than good since that means he's not growing...his pet is also concerned about his slow growth.
At least my oldest is getting taller although he's petite but my second is short and small.
That's how my daughter was, still baby sized when she was 2 or 3. People used to stare at her when she'd go into a toilet stall by herself and shut the door, or tell me that my baby was going to fall in. Now she's 10 and it's not as cute. She doesn't look like an infant now but she looks more like a 6 year old than a 10 year old, and people talk to her like she's much younger, which upsets her.
They are born in completely different seasons though. I didn't want to put my son through the misery of wearing sweaters and footed onsies in 90 degree weather.
Same with my kids.
And I have a boy and girl.
But, geez, onesies? Jackets? Socks? Shoes that get worn a couple months?
How are these a problem?
Puzzles?
Blocks? Animals? Books?
Crib? Changing table? Bath frog?
Towels?
It's so obviously the competition that bothers you more than anything.
Think about it...if you did NOT have a sister-in-law, would you even give this stuff a second thought???
The breastfeeding, yes. I joined a breastfeeding group on facebook and random things pop up everyday. I dont know those women in the first place (so no point in competition here), and thought it would be fun to see other moms (or new moms) doing so well with breastfeeding their babies, but although I am happy for them (again, they are total strangers so I have no personal feelings towards any of them) it saddens me that I cant do the same for my kid. Its the feeling of missing out.
I had nothing personal against my sister in law, she just happens to be one of the women who loves to update the rest of the world about her breastfeeding accomplishment.
I had a successful breastfeeding journey with my first, but never updated for anyone else to see. Thats why I join a breastfeeding forum/group, where people actually care (or pretend to care) about your success.
Again, breastfeeding is something that is big to me, and regardless if my sister in law existed or not, it would still matter to me, and seeing other mothers being able to provide the excellent source of nutrition to the offspring while I can not, just makes me feel guilty.
I took my sister in law as an example, but if you want to put it that way, I guess I am competing with millions of women around the world because they get to breastfeed and I cant? But I simply couldnt breastfeed after 10 months in, so I dont know where the competition comes up.
Same with my kids.
And I have a boy and girl.
But, geez, onesies? Jackets? Socks? Shoes that get worn a couple months?
How are these a problem?
Puzzles?
Blocks? Animals? Books?
Crib? Changing table? Bath frog?
Towels?
Lets see...they share toys, they share towels, my first co slept with us and we originally bought him a crib that he didnt sleep in, so we passed it off to his brother BUT had he been sleeping on his own, that crib would still be in his possession and we'd have no choice but to buy another one for our second. So personally, I dont think a crib is something that can be shared, unless they are at least 3 years apart (the oldest would be sleeping on a mini bed), or you decide to squeeze them in the same crib lol.
They share socks, definitely, unless the socks are worn out I just toss.
They definitely share toys.
I feel the same about shoes as I do with the socks. If they are still in good condition, we pass it along, if the soles are worn, we toss. We have some 5c shoes from oldest son and although they still look cute, the soles look work since he was in them for awhile. Second will probably get some use off them, but definitely not in them for the same time frame as our oldest.
They share onsies...and jackets (if its not the wrong season).
If I ever have a girl, she will not be wearing boys clothes, neutral stuff (passed down from her brothers), but not obvious boys clothes.
For the first 9 months or so, we could barely use any of big brother's clothes aside from the socks, mittens, snowsuits, and onsies. Anything they wore out in public had to be purchased separately. I remember older's son's 0-3, and 3-6 months outfits being heavily winter and second son would melt in them. After 9 months, there were a lot more that he could use from his brother's ward robe.
In the next few weeks, we have to go shopping for older son since he needs bigger pants (he's getting taller and taller) but wont have the need to shop for second son.
The breastfeeding, yes. I joined a breastfeeding group on facebook and random things pop up everyday. I dont know those women in the first place (so no point in competition here), and thought it would be fun to see other moms (or new moms) doing so well with breastfeeding their babies, but although I am happy for them (again, they are total strangers so I have no personal feelings towards any of them) it saddens me that I cant do the same for my kid. Its the feeling of missing out.
I had nothing personal against my sister in law, she just happens to be one of the women who loves to update the rest of the world about her breastfeeding accomplishment.
I had a successful breastfeeding journey with my first, but never updated for anyone else to see. Thats why I join a breastfeeding forum/group, where people actually care (or pretend to care) about your success.
Again, breastfeeding is something that is big to me, and regardless if my sister in law existed or not, it would still matter to me, and seeing other mothers being able to provide the excellent source of nutrition to the offspring while I can not, just makes me feel guilty.
I took my sister in law as an example, but if you want to put it that way, I guess I am competing with millions of women around the world because they get to breastfeed and I cant? But I simply couldnt breastfeed after 10 months in, so I dont know where the competition comes up.
Its competition because it's all about YOU and your "performance" in comparison to these other women.
Fix your mindset. I could "only" breastfeed my twins for 8 months, but I decided to look at it as an accomplishment. You could do that too, if you STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER MOMS.
There are very few clothes for kids under 3 that are definitely BOY'S clothes.
Girl's, yes.
But unless it has actual words like, Daddy's little dude or whatever, gimme a break.
Frogs and ducks and bunnies and fire trucks and giraffes and even dinosaurs can be for anyone.
haha, I guess I happen to be one of those moms who buys gender specific clothes for their kids. I have 2 boys so it doesnt matter, but I actually love those shirts with logos that says "daddy's buddy, mommy's hero (with a firetruck), mommy's little fire cracker" etc, and those cargo shorts in the summer.
After my first turned 1, nothing he has is gender neutral. He wears polos, button up shirts, cargo shorts and pants, and if a girl wore them it would make her look like a tomboy. My mom dressed my third sis up as a tomboy (it wasnt hand me downs, she actually went out and bought boy) because she really wanted a boy after 2 girls in a row. Looking at old pics, I have no idea why she did that, didnt look nice at all. If she's a girl, dress her like a girl. She was dressed like that from infancy - 2 years. By three years, she had her own sense of fashion and liked those little doll dresses.
Ducks, frogs, bunnies, puppies, kittens to me are gender neutral and I have no problem. Firetrucks and dinosaurs are on the tomboy side. I wouldnt have trouble for her wearign it at home but not in public. Its kinda asking for strangers to compliment on what a "cute little boy" I have.
I dress my boys in gender neutral clothes sometimes and people ask me often enough if I have one of each, or are they both girls.
That's how my daughter was, still baby sized when she was 2 or 3. People used to stare at her when she'd go into a toilet stall by herself and shut the door, or tell me that my baby was going to fall in. Now she's 10 and it's not as cute. She doesn't look like an infant now but she looks more like a 6 year old than a 10 year old, and people talk to her like she's much younger, which upsets her.
Thats my main concern too. He looks cute at the moment because he's technically still a baby but not so cute in the long run. I took him with me inside a bank once and the banker said "aww your baby is so cute how old is he?" I said "he's turning 1 next month" and she looked at me in utter shock and said "he's tiny, I thought he was 6 months!"
My oldest is skinny but at least he has the height to make up for it. He is in the 75th percentile for height which is not uncommon. I see kids who are tall and lean. My second is not so lucky, he is short and skinny the true definition of petite.
In middle school, I was in the same class as a guy who was tiny looking for a 12 year old. He was the shortest in the class and looked like he was 8. He was picked on and called a midget. Keeping my fingers crossed that my son will get a growth spurt soon.
for your peace of mind, step out of all the "baby comparisons" if you can for the next 20 years. they are demoralizing and mean-spirited and degrading for all concerned. focus instead on "what I love about my baby" or "he did the cutest thing" types of conversation which are much more kind and uplifting.
i was in a moms group for years when my kids were little and i just got more and more miserable as the moms tried to outdo each other with everything: milestones, bragging, clothes, learning. the birthday parties were the worst, trying to outdo each other with fancier and fancier themes, games, party favors. i dreaded those events.
until at one party the funniest thing happened and from then on I just stopped feeling bad about it all. one of the moms for the birthday party had this big lavish event for her 4-year old, including a separate cake for the birthday girl so she did not have to share with anyone else (how snotty can you get?), the guests were expected to eat this other separate cake. well that did not go over well with one little boy who ran over to her special cake as soon as she blew out the candles, and he jammed his hand down into the cake to grab a handful. i could not stop laughing, it was hilarious
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